You know you\'re a vet when....

(173 posts)(46 voices)
  1. When you want to host an IVF party for yourself to make up for all the baby showers you had to attend.

    omg. what a great idea.

    Hmmm yes, I can already imagine the invitation I would send out.

    Please come to my IVF pity, pamper me, and fundraiser party.

    Casual attire: i.e track suits, yoga pants... (anyone looking chic, put-together and/or wearing designer clothing that they can afford (and fit into)since they haven't done 8 IVF cycles will be sent home-after leaving their gift by the door).

    Refreshments: may be served (if I can get my weepy a$$ of the couch and shop for them. These will likely involve foods that require minimum of preparation, such as squeeze cheese and ritz crackers).

    Appropriate gifts include such things as: alcohol, spa products, and cash.

  2. I've got one that might be a bit controversial---

    When you see a young high school student pregnant and you think, "If only I had been that irresponsible? I wouldn't be here now."

    I used to judge all of the girls who got pg during or right after high school as girls who hadn't planned their lives properly-they were irresponsible and imature-now we are all the same age-their kids are begining high school they are just finishing college but they seem happy and content-while I always thought they were ruining their lives by having kids so young. I guess the jokes on me?

  3. omg. what a great idea. Hmmm yes, I can already imagine the invitation I would send out. Please come to my IVF pity, pamper me, and fundraiser party. Casual attire: i.e track suits, yoga pants... (anyone looking chic, put-together and/or wearing designer clothing that they can afford (and fit into)since they haven't done 8 IVF cycles will be sent home-after leaving their gift by the door). Refreshments: may be served (if I can get my weepy a$$ of the couch and shop for them. These will likely involve foods that require minimum of preparation, such as squeeze cheese and ritz crackers). Appropriate gifts include such things as: alcohol, spa products, and cash.

    Perhaps we could register for the party as well. Hmmm, so many choices, what would I choose for my party registry ??

    a few rounds of ICSI;
    1 large box of maxipads;
    14 Gonal-F pens;
    6 packages of granny panties;
    1 insulated medicine bag (perfect for travel);
    1 gift certificate for an appointment with a recurrent loss specialist; and
    1 gift certificate for a uterine massage;

  4. Perhaps we could register for the party as well. Hmmm, so many choices, what would I choose for my party registry ??a few rounds of ICSI;1 large box of maxipads;14 Gonal-F pens;6 packages of granny panties;1 insulated medicine bag (perfect for travel);1 gift certificate for an appointment with a recurrent loss specialist; and1 gift certificate for a uterine massage;

    Mine would be

    - a case of packaging tape to secure sharps containers
    - gift certificate to donoregg dot com
    - Craftsman weed wacker, as I've let things go 'down there' for the last 4 years
    - gift certificate to mail poop dot com so I can send poo to my first two RE's who laughed or shrugged off my need for IVF when I was at the age where stats were still in my favor.

    oh and party favors for all the fertiles in attendance..a shot of depo provera.

  5. ... your after-hours and weekend plans include throwing back narcotics like they're tic tacs.

    ... you deliberately let heavy glass doors fall back into the faces of pg women or parents with carriages when entering a grocery store.

    ... you routinely marinate yourself in vodka, whiskey, or bourbon between the hours of 4 p.m. and midnight.

  6. When you hear the president talking about the need for a "surge" and you think WTF is the president talking about ovulation for...

  7. Another possibly controversial one...

    When you see a pregnant teenager and you feel an overwhelming urge to ask, "uhhh, do you want to keep that?"

  8. Quote:
    oh and party favors for all the fertiles in attendance..a shot of depo provera.
    Can we also make them suffer through a round of OHSS as well? I get to go home from the hospital tomorrow for mine-but I still want all my fertile mertiles to spend at least one day living with the discomfort! I know I'm going to hell for that one-but I already paid for a penthouse suite there-no harm in adding on granite countertops eh?

  9. Quote:
    When you see a pregnant teenager and you feel an overwhelming urge to ask, "uhhh, do you want to keep that?"\'

    Can we just put adoption contact inside highschools? No?

  10. when you pass up on a job because it may interfere with cycling.

  11. Your pharmacist looks at you with pity when you walk in to pick up your monthly supply of pre natal vitamins....it's been almost ____ years.

    When you see a hospital and the sign "ER", you think egg retrieval.

  12. I'm laughing till I cry...

    stelious2- especially love the comment about the need for a surge!

  13. When you go for a jog and every walking female is a pregnant suspect

  14. Another possibly controversial one...When you see a pregnant teenager and you feel an overwhelming urge to ask, "uhhh, do you want to keep that?"

    DH and I once stalked a cocktail waitress. My preg-dar spotted the ever-so-slight bulge...we never got the nerve to ask...

  15. ... when a friend goes with you for the beta blood draw because you're going to spend the rest of the day shopping until the inevitable bfn call, one of your favorite nurses asks "is this your mom?"

    (this happened yesterday. the next time I see her, I really want to explain to her that when you've been going through IF for 4 years, you really tend to gravitate towards friends who are in their 50s because their lives do not revolve around their kids).

  16. DH and I once stalked a cocktail waitress. My preg-dar spotted the ever-so-slight bulge...we never got the nerve to ask...
    We were at a party at local restaurant and there was a pregnant teenage waitress. My brother asked me if he could ask her if she was keeping the baby or interested in adoption...He was serious.

  17. Candace- so THAT'S why almost all my friends are in their 50s!!!
    and whoever said about wishing they'd been a bit more irresponsible... ditto!

    - You know the true experts in cycling are not the winners of the Tour de France

    - You know from personal experience that doctors are not the higher power, but insurance companies are!

    - You've had long arguments with the Almighty about the 10th commandment

    - You google "ivf" and all the links show up purple for some odd reason

    - You now know what I.V.F. really stands for... infinitely vicious futility!

    - You know exactly how many steps you can take in your Tar*get store before you have to take a detour around the m. and b. section

    - You preemptively strike before the ubiquitous (no longer ambiguous) question: "Any news.............?"

    - Your RE's office feels like your second home and you feel kind of bad for the newbies who are afraid to look anyone in the eye in the waiting room

    - Though battle-scarred and weary, you no longer feel IF is something to be ashamed of and you begin to wear it like a badge of honor

    - You know the perfect ratio of bravado and commiseration to make a sophisticated cocktail

    - Waking up in the morning, you are sure which cycle day it is, but you're confused about which day of the week it is

    - You begin using words like "leiomyomatous" as swear words under your breath

    - You no longer feel inhibited about baby dancing with your DH/DP even when staying overnight at your parent's house (gasp!)

    - You've removed one of your friends to put your clinic's number on speed dial and you didn't feel any remorse

    - You've developed a fondness for sour grapes (not just wine, but WHINE) and you know there's a study confirming the health benefits

    - You know the exact ages of your mother's and both grandmother's menopause

    - You have 5 colors of elastic-waist pants in your closet and you think the main criteria for new wardrobe purchases are: is it comfortable, and is there room to grow?

    - You've even considered wearing one of those mumu dresses but you wonder if that's taking it an inch too far...

    - Every time you see people with twins, you always wonder...

    - You know IF is the perfect acronym because it's always a big 'if'!!!! ...if the eggs keep growing, if they fertilize normally..., if they implant..., if the cycle isn't cancelled..., if the ER is on this day I might be able to go to that wedding, if... if ... if...

    - You have difficulty cracking an egg to make breakfast and you think, "that one needed assisted hatching!"

  18. When you cry while watching BBC, because the whale who just gave birth was 50 years old.

  19. You know you're a vet when....

    you have an EDD for every quarter of the year...if not every month of the year...but no baby.

    whenever anyone older than 35 gets pg, your automatic reaction is:they must have done IVF

    When you hear that people are pg before they are out of their 1st trimester, you tell everyone within earshot that you shouldn't really tell people that early in case something goes wrong.

  20. When you cry while watching BBC, because the whale who just gave birth was 50 years old.

    You know you're a vet when you assume that the whale must have used donor eggs.

  21. ... while lying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning, your husband asks "what are the restrictions right now?"

  22. dpsd04032-great list....I think I'm printing that one off and throwing it up on the fridge.

  23. This is the one that got us started...

    Quote:
    You know you're a vet when you shoot up progesterone in an airport bathroom, while peeing, between connecting flights.
    And I thought this was an intersting bit to add,

    You know you're a vet when you have to shoot up on the airplane and then explain to the airline stuardess that their portable sharps container is NOT allowed to just be thrown away and you give them a crash course in sharps disposal including the proper labeling of said objects it contains and offer to just deal with it yourself.

  24. I have been loving this thread. Hannah, your list is fantastic! Totally spot on.
    The one I was thinking of was...

    You know you are a vet when you "check your TP" for blood every time you hit the john because of the PTSD you have around going to the bathroom.

  25. Instead of "celebrating" your anniversary in bed with your husband....you are getting poked with the u/s wand on cycle day 2 bloodwork.

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