You know you\'re a vet when....

(173 posts)(46 voices)
  1. Ok not sure if there is a thread on this but..I need some humor. Share your experiences!

    You know you're a vet when you shoot up progesterone in an airport bathroom, while peeing, between connecting flights.

  2. You know you're a vet when...

    Every time you sit down to pee, you think to yourself "should I be holding a stick under there?"

    I swear I haven't ttc in over a year and this thought still goes through my mind (I was an obsessive poas-er).

  3. Your vagina has seen more action than in college;
    You have track marks on your arms;
    You cant stand using your vibrator anymore because it reminds you too much of an ultrasound;
    You are on a first name basis with everyone at your clinic including the janatorial staff;
    Your refrigerator used to have food, now it has meds;
    Your mailbox used to have junk mail now it has medical bills;
    Your underwear drawer used to have thongs, now it has grannies;
    You have become a medical encyclopedia even though you always hated science;
    By calculating betas, fertilization rates, calendar dates and medication doses you have become a numbers wiz even though you always hated math;
    You think how "lucky" you were to "just" have a chemical;
    You suddenly hate celebrities like Kourtney Kardashian, but feel a special bond with celebrities like Marsha Cross;
    You have about 100 answers in your back pocket just in case someone asks you the dreaded 4 word question;
    You hate holidays;
    You hate facebook;
    You hate alumni magazines;
    You are surprised you have not found support where you would have most expected; and
    You are surprised you have found support where you would have least expected.

  4. Quote:
    Your underwear drawer used to have thongs, now it has grannies;

    mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love all of these thanks kristen and trina! Humor right now is so needed with all this chit.

  5. Quote:
    You have become a medical encyclopedia even though you always hated science;
    By calculating betas, fertilization rates, calendar dates and medication doses have become a numbers wiz even though you always hated math;

    Oh wow, YES and YES. If only I was good at math and science when it counted maybe I could have gone to med school and I could be making the kind of money my RE is making. HA!

  6. Someone says "things are meant to be" (in any context, to you or anyone else within your earshot) and you have to go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for ten minutes to calm down...

  7. Good ones Trina!

  8. You think how "lucky" you were to "just" have a chemical;You suddenly hate celebrities like Kourtney Kardashian, but feel a special bond with celebrities like Marsha Cross;You hate holidays;You hate facebook;You hate alumni magazines;

    So F-ing true.

    Great list, Trina!!!

  9. Trina - you rock - how on earth did you come up with such a creative and spot-on list?

  10. When playing word search games you try to use IVF & FET only to be denied.
    You walk into a room and know exactly who is pregnant, even before they do.
    You educate people on the process of reproduction.
    You tell your Dr the protocol and med doses you should be on and they work better than ones he had previously used.
    You view EWCM, ovulation and AF as cruel fukkin jokes our bodies play on us to make us think we might be fertile.
    Christmas cards go directly into the recycle bin
    You shop almost exclusively on line b/c pregnant women stalk you when you leave the house

  11. mujrapk, princess, Shaktipande--so, so true!! I can relate to them all. Recycle bin, what a great idea...why have I been wasting time with the shredder??

    Thanks eb! I am sad to say, the list only took a few minutes. I think it is just something I have wanted to say to friends and family for a long time, but the only place anyone will really understand is here...how I long for the days of thongs, vibrators and being bad at math

  12. You think anyone who announces they are pregnant when they are only 4 weeks along must be crazy.

  13. I love these all. love them.

    For those single women among us: You've gone through so many different sperm donors, you finally resort to calling the bank and asking staff members "who would you recommend today?" when you make your next order.

    I was just thinking the other day that the only action I've seen in the last year has been in my doctor's office... And while the vibrator hasn't emerged from my drawer for a while, I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to use it again after what Trina wrote.

  14. one more:
    you finally get a membership to Costco so you can stock up on the essentials, POAS and bulk kleenex.

  15. Quote:
    You have become a medical encyclopedia even though you always hated science;
    I have had to explain what OHSS is to nearly every single nurse, plebotomist, janitor etc that has stepped inti my roo because as some kind of karmic cruel joke they sent me to the "Mother/Baby" recovery floor so every room has a bassinettand a wall chart that reads

    "Next Feeding_______AM/PM"
    ___Car Seat in Room?
    ___Birth Certificate Information Sheet Completed
    ___Newboern Screening Test

    "Potential Discharge Date________AM/PM
    ___VAGINAL DELIVERY 24 HOURS
    ___C-SECTION 48 HOURS UNLESS MEDICALLY INDICATED
    ___OTHER

    MY FRIENDS HAVE GONE AHEAD AND FILLED IN THE AWNSWERS AS THE FOLLOWING......NEXT FEEDING "when she's good and ready" AM?MP
    "Why?" Car Set in Room
    "Not for over 31, um I mean 29 years "Has birth certificate information sheet completed
    "Nope-whatever for-she's 29!" Newborn Screening tests

    There were others that I could add...but that is the most blatant thing stearing me in the face righ now

  16. You no longer bother to groom "down there" for any procedures/ultrasounds.

  17. You know you're vet when....

    Sex used to be something 'fun' but now all it does is painfully remind you of what your body can't do.

    You can look at the monitor on the u/s machine and give the exact quote of your lining and egg count before the doctor measures anything -- and be accurate about it.

    You know more about reproduction and protocols than most doctors (including REs). And when you advise friends to ask their doctors about including this change, they get b/g twins the first try (I've had this happen to me so many times that I have a better track record than my RE).

    Most of your friends have kids in elementary or middle school and they started trying AFTER you.

    You start eying strollers for your cats (or small dogs) and thinking it's not such a crazy idea after all...

  18. I love this. Especially about the underware drawer.

    When you want to host an IVF party for yourself to make up for all the baby showers you had to attend.

    Wanting to send photo holiday cards with a picture of me, dh and a u/s pic of my empty uterus.

  19. You start eying strollers for your cats (or small dogs) and thinking it's not such a crazy idea after all...

    Um, how about when you refer to your dog as your "baby" and send Christmas cards with his picture to all your friends and family?

  20. When you look at 18-20 somethings and think enviously "if only" or "I wonder if she'd give me her eggs."

  21. -Your doctor actually agrees with you when you were only half-joking that you should have gone ahead and changed your own protocol when the nurse didn’t get back to you on time.

    -You use an excel spread sheet to calculate and plan out how to you can adjust your FET cycle around your already planned vacation - since it holds more promise than your cycle.

    -you have far more sad “anniversary” dates that happy ones.

    -when a fertile announces a pregnancy, you can calculate in your head not only their due date, but the likely date they got pregnant.

    -when THIS commercial is you - on a good day.

    oh, just found another one of the commercials- click here (youtube)
    "...it was the little things that got to me...like... people"

  22. Um, how about when you refer to your dog as your "baby" and send Christmas cards with his picture to all your friends and family?
    Um, I'm guilty of this.

  23. SendrikBlack, you mean that's not normal???

  24. Most of your friends have kids in elementary or middle school...

    How about when people your age are starting to have their first grandchildren while you're still trying to conceive your first.

  25. How about when people your age are starting to have their first grandchildren while you're still trying to conceive your first.

    Yet another reason to h@te facebook. I thought when a friend from high school I hadnt seen in 25 years posted a pic of a baby boy that it was her son, boy was I mistaken! Grandson! Argggg!

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