Vets Adopting III (all vets advice welcome!)

(100 posts)(18 voices)
  1. I hear you sisters! People look at the disaster in Haiti and just assume that there will be all of these children available for adoption. Or they hear about the babies/kids already in the pipeline that have been given quick clearance and they make all sorts of assumptions.

    when people say this kind of stuff, it's just another version of "why don't you just adopt?"

  2. Just today...

    Dumbass Colleague: "Are you watching the news??? There are orphans crawling all over Haiti! Why don't you go down and scoop a few up? You could bring home some cute brown babies."

    Me:

    The ignorance of the fertile is viral. Even people I once confided in say the cruelest, dumbest comments, and they think they're helping. Talk about feeling alone and misunderstood.

    Nothing new, right?

    Just another day in the life.

  3. OMG, Dreamer, that is unbelievable. Seriously, it's like something right out of The Office. Which I have been watching obsessively since Christmas when I got all six seasons on DVD, so believe me, I *know* it could come right out of Michael Scott's mouth.

    What in the hell is wrong with people?

    Oh, where, oh where is the old idealistic fighting me that wanted to make a difference in the world? Now I just look at all the ignorance and it just makes me tired. Wait. I think we had this discussion - something about a grain of sand against an ocean of ignorance....

  4. Thank the FSM it's not just me that is hearing this! My boss turns to me today and says "can you believe my wife is thinking of adopting a hatian baby?" and then goes on to tell me she said it's her decision to make, not his. If and when she decides to do it, she'll convice him to go along (according to him). THen he says he never even wanted a second child, why would he want a third?

    OMG....WTF?????????????

  5. Thank the FSM it's not just me that is hearing this! My boss turns to me today and says "can you believe my wife is thinking of adopting a hatian baby?" and then goes on to tell me she said it's her decision to make, not his. If and when she decides to do it, she'll convice him to go along (according to him). THen he says he never even wanted a second child, why would he want a third?OMG....WTF?????????????

    I hope you asked him if he has a spare say $30k kicking around, is interested in having a social worker crawl up his and his wife's a@@ with a magnifying glass, wants to be fingerprinted/get a criminal background check, file endless paperwork with a foreign government and then get in line for a year or two in the hopes that that hatian baby (who by then is walking) can come home to his wife.

    dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. people are incredible.

  6. No, Kate. but I did suggest to him that when she made up her mind she should cll me so I could give her a long list of what needs to be done. I also told him that there was no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that he'd have to worry about getting a newborn cause that's not even an option! Ahhh, the idiot fertile's mindset about adoption, pure fiction!

  7. Dumbass Colleague: "Are you watching the news??? There are orphans crawling all over Haiti! Why don't you go down and scoop a few up? You could bring home some cute brown babies."

    Wow, clueless AND racist. I think your colleague takes the cake! Vomit.

  8. Decent but limited article

    cnn.com

    People are so ignorant

  9. Argh. Nothing like human tragedy on a vast scale to bring out the moron in people. Why don't they JUST shut the hell up?

  10. Aaugh, T, thanks for posting that - it's a good article... but then I stupidly scrolled down and read the comments. They're just as bad as the comments on IF articles.

    I hate people.

  11. doh! of course I then went back to read the comments on the article as well. Stupid me. But look, at least there are a lot of really nice people who want to give a better life to the "brown" babies...

  12. Aw man, I went back and read the comments. Note to self: never read the comments.

  13. Note to self: never read the comments.

    Ain\'t that the truth!

    (P.S. I couldn't help myself, had to leave a comment of my own. It has two "likes", which are probably the two of you ladies, but at least it's out there

  14. Ain\'t that the truth!(P.S. I couldn't help myself, had to leave a comment of my own. It has two "likes", which are probably the two of you ladies, but at least it's out there

    I read it, knew it was you, but didn't "like" it, well I liked it but didn't post that I liked it, so maybe 3 people liked your comment, LMAO.

  15. I hope you asked him if he has a spare say $30k kicking around, is interested in having a social worker crawl up his and his wife's a@@ with a magnifying glass, wants to be fingerprinted/get a criminal background check, file endless paperwork with a foreign government and then get in line for a year or two in the hopes that that hatian baby (who by then is walking) can come home to his wife.

    I think that is the best description of international adoption I have ever read!! Must memorize and use on all the dumbasses who say stupid stuff to me all the time about adoption.

  16. How in the world do I stay patient? I'm losing it a little and we have a looooong way to go.

    Long story short- the wait to adopt from Korea is 6-10 months once dossier is sent there. Not bad, right? Problem is that it's taking FOREVER to get everything together for our dossier. I don't anticipate everything being sent to Korea for another 4-5 months or so. FIVE months of waiting before we even officially start "waiting?"!!! Plus the home study already took a good 6 months. This is not the timeline I anticipated. I must breathe. I think it's still going to be close to 18 months before we actually travel. I can do this... RIGHT? I need a good distraction.

    How is everyone else doing? What's new???

    K

  17. KL: I gotta tell ya, the timeline for international is never ever what they tell you. When we originally started our (failed) Kazakhstan adoption, the wait time was 4-8 months from start to finish. It was a year when we stopped and our dossier still hadnt even gone to the consulate. It would have been another 8-10 months before it got there and g-d knows how long before we traveled. It was rediculous.

    I\'m sorry you're having to go thru this just to start your journey.

  18. Thanks, BG. Everything until now was fine. I love our SW, the home study was painless albeit busy, everything was going as anticipated and then bam... stupid homeland security. We have to get our fingerprints with USCIS and it's supposed to take "a couple weeks" for our appointment. Today I found out it's taking 8 weeks just to get the appt. Then it's taking 3 months to process the prints. That's 5 months tacked on to the wait time!!! I'm irritated and there's not a thing we can do but deal. Stupid slow federal government. I suppose they're busy with other important things but don't they know I've had enough of this waiting??!

  19. We were told at least 2 months to get our fingerprints back from CIS and had them in 3 weeks, so there is hope yet.

    As an aside, I'm kinda glad those missionaries got the book thrown at them in Haiti for trying to take the children out of the country. If they had succeeded, it would have set back ALL international adoptions! Many of those kids have parents who are alive, it would have been child trafficking.

  20. mujrapk - I can't believe it takes that long. How disapointing. We have just submitted ours for Russia so I expect this to clear by June according to what you are saying. What I find so amazing is the fact that there can't be as many people applying given the economy - then what they heck takes 5 months?
    We learned today that we will be adopting from practically the end of the earth - Khabarovsk - the other end of Russia on the boarder of China. I don't quite know how to digest this - a 25 hour flight and almost 2 days time difference.
    I hope they don't make us go 4 times as it would pretty much guarantee that we will lost our jobs to this.
    I\'m not really feeling this process today but it's probably because I had a shitty day at work.

    is there anyone on this thread with better news?

  21. Oh, but I thought it was so EASY to adopt internationally. Especially from, like, Haiti. I mean, there are SO MANY children who need homes, right?

    Ha.

    Sorry Kristen and EB that you're caught in red tape hell. Anniversary angst and crappy work days don't help, either. Ugh. Hang in there - I'm thinking about you both.

    Unfortunately I don't have better news here. Got another monthly bill from the freaking agency, plus an invitation to a free lecture they're giving in the city in a couple weeks. Sure, I'll go. Rah. But I want to be PRESENTED to some birth mothers, for crying out loud!!

    BG, I agree about the Baptists in Haiti. Thank goodness.

  22. Asswipe boss today actually made a joke today about his wife wanting to help cause she feels bad for the people of Haiti and she's deciding if she wants to adopt. I told him it was at least a 5 year wait until they figure who is really an orphan and then they would try to have them adopted domestically first. He really didnt get it?!?!? what an a$$

  23. Hey ladies, good news! The freaking system doesnt consider asswipe a bad word!!!

  24. great news BG. I wrote sucks recently and it let it through too. We'll see right now if it does again.

  25. on a more serious note - I am sorry to hear about all of you going through the endless waiting. Uggh.

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