The View

(111 posts)(49 voices)
  1. I just watched the entire episode online (and I hate the View usually!) but knew I had to see this one.

    Riri--you are lovely and did a great job! I know you feel like you didn't get all your points out, but you came across very well. Shame on BH for changing the script at the last minute on you. Also when she said your exDH didn't want kids I was wanting to yell "Geezus Barb, she just said he DID want kids when they got married!" She didn't listen to you very well. Maybe it's time for her to retire. Thank you for going on the show and all your work at advocacy--you rock!!

    Sherm-- You and your DH are so cute and did a great job too! We also have severe male factor (along with my dor/pof issues) and could so relate to the "I bet he has great sperm" comment said while seeing some other guy. I also say "I bet she has great eggs!"

  2. Risa- I'm so sorry about your rough night, and what you are going through. I just want to say that you did an absolutely amazing job on The View- AMAZING. I would have never stayed so composed. You were wonderful.

    As someone who watches the View everyday (I'm embarrassed to admit that), BW says ridiculous things all the time when it comes to IF (she says ridiculous things all the time in general, but the IF related things are those that infuriate me). I thought she was awful during your segment, and just so you know, she did come across as attacking you, but YOU came across as calm, eloquent and intelligent. You did not get defensive, and it didn't look like it rattled you at all, even though it did.

    FWIW, it made me cringe as well when the couple said IF has made their marriage stronger (or maybe envious?), however, when we were only at the IUI stage, it hadn't affected my marriage either. I think that is so great for them, but I don't think that is the norm.

  3. I'm in a similar boat following along behind you Riri. In hindsight it was all there but I just couldn't bring myself to see it. Some couples are brought together by tragedy and some of us ARE NOT. I know deep down in my soul that I'll be better off once I work through the pain but those embryos and those fetuses were very real to me. The fact that I'm getting divorced doesn't make them any less real and I'm still mourning their loss.

    Barbara Walters is a moron.

  4. Hi Riri (your PMs are full so I'll post this to you here),

    Just wanted to say my heart really goes out to you. I am sure yesterday was a very hard day. I missed the View but may try and find it online. I have no doubt you did a spectacular job as you've had rave reviews. It sounds like yesterday was a very difficult day for you with the paperwork and painful, horrible decisions no one let alone someone as good as you should ever have to endure. I hope that you find your peace and start to heal. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and I'm here if you need to vent/chat/drink. Hang in there.

  5. I'm watching part of it again....Giulianna R. lied about her husband's age at first and then he corrected her and she said "oh I was just trying to shave a couple of years off." Maybe she's lying about her age too...

    ...and she actually said "my diagnosis is that I don't ovulate regularly and I need to gain weight in order to ovulate regularly."

    Oh poor baby Giulianna. That's your goddamn fertility problem???

  6. Rir, just wanted to chime in here and tell you how extremely proud I am to count you as a friend. You are smart, eloquent and look d@mn good on camera!

    FWIW, I was also yelling at BW from my couch. Idiotic really, what she said.

  7. I just watched Riri's segment again.

    Fack Barbara Walters.

  8. I am just getting a chance to get online and wanted to add my sincere thank you to Riri and Sherm (and DH) for having the bravery (balls!) go on national television to discuss all of this cr*p. You were both amazing and so well spoken.

    Riri, I have to add, at first I was so glad to see that Barbara and NOT the nazi, EH, was your moderator, even if she was with the dummy, Sherri. But then she was so pigheadedly going on about your xH not wanting kids made me want to reach in the TV and strangle her. I've seen the View a few times and she does this fixating on the wrong fact periodically - so super annoying. I hated that you didn't have a chance to talk about what all you went through - it felt like BW was sympathetic to the miscarriage-lady as they discussed it, but then it seemed like she didn't know about your own failures as she focused on only the marital situation. When she started doing that, and cutting you off, I was wishing it was Whoopi in your segment instead of her. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but you, as everyone here has said, handled it with so much grace.

    Much better than that Giuliana for sure. I couldn't believe how defensive she was getting. She seemed annoyed that they were telling her to gain weight. Wouldn't you expect that people *might* want to see you gain weight when 1) you already look anorexic and 2) you tell them the doctor has TOLD you go gain weight so you will freaking ovulate?? OY.

    And, I have concur on the lying about your DH's age. Really? You were trying to shave a couple years off? Who are you trying to fool?


  9. Forgive me, but I always need to say this when I see it. Please don't use the word nazi as a normal insult. Nazis killed my family. Nazi refers to something very specific and using it in a casual way demeans the memory of those who were killed by them. EH may be many things, but nazi is not one of them.

    You know how we're all very sensitive to language that people use with regard to infertility, and how it really hurts and offends us when people use language in insensitive ways surrounding this issue? It's the same for families of holocaust survivors. Every time the word nazi is thrown around, it stings because the meaning is diminished. Nazi is not a synonym for nasty person, or controlling person, or any other thing other than what a nazi is/was. I find it incredibly disturbing that the word nazi has become a common, casually used word.

    Thanks for your understanding.

  10. Thank you, every one of you.

    It truly is incredibly bizarre how so many of you were so in tune with my emotions regarding each part of yesterday. I hope that my being on the show did half as much for anonymous women across the country as your support here has done for me. I don't think anyone I know irl really understands how painful any of what I've been through is. It's crazy. Really crazy. So thank you!

    Just as a rhetorical food for thought - do you think it's egos that make these people just want to do all of the talking (and not listen at all), no matter who the guest is (and that's not limited to The View, it's O'Reilly, and Chris Matthews and Wolf Blitzer and any number of talking heads) or that it's truly better for ratings, or what? I mean, you see these guys yapping every day - I have little interest in their views, don't most people tune in to see what the guests have to say or do they really want to hear Barbara Walters go on about how she didn't have as many options 40 or so years ago?

    I hated Tim Russert for how he beat up on Hillary, but except for when he interviewed her and tried to sandbag her again and again (g'd@mn chauvinist a-hole, RIP), he mostly let his guests do the talking. That was his greatness, that he actually LISTENED to their answers and asked questions based on the responses! So few people in that industry have the ability to actually let someone else talk on air!

  11. I think it's probably both ego and ratings, but yes, you are correct, at least in my case, I tune in to see what the guests are going to say...I can't stand most of the hosts, and they seem to make things worse, not better! I think they'd be better off if they just let the guest talk and ask no questions! I was definitely MUCH more interested in what you had to say than BW.

  12. I was thinking about that. I think part of the problem is that because they have multiple "hosts" - each one of them has to have her say, which leaves very little time for anybody else to speak. It seems to me that the show is about getting a few sound bytes out of the guest, just to give the hosts something to talk about. They're much more interested in hearing themselves speak than actually hearing the guests speak. It's like the guests are there just to give them an excuse to speak and a subject to speak about. And they're all jumping out of their seats (not Whoopi so much) to speak so it's like they already know what they're going to say ahead of time so they don't listen to the guest. BW wasn't listening to you....she just wanted to say what she wanted to say and it had little to do with what you were saying.

    Also noticed that at the end of the Grifo segment, Whoopi said that he would stay on for the rest of the show to answer questions that came up because he is "the guy to ask" but he never appeared again.

  13. NYC-you're totally right - my apologies for using the N-word. (I actually picked up calling EH that name from this stupid radio host I heard use it with respect to her, so it stuck in my mind.)

    I do think she is close-minded whack job though.

  14. She is most definitely a closed-minded whack job!!!

  15. Nazis killed my family. Mine, too. Sorry.

  16. don't want to hijack - Spartali, check your pm about my views on the use of the word Nazi. K - I'll email you.

  17. BTW, can I just say that I know understand why so many of you love Dr. Grifo? I was laughing out loud when he said that idiopathic was idiot doctors who dont know that pathology! I actually wrote it down to remember to tell my mom!

  18. "I bet she has great eggs!"

    My DH would take it one step further and tell me to go offer her $5,000 for her eggs. We said we should go troll the local med school campus looking for brunettes, 5'6"+, green eyes, left handed, attractive, athletic, etc. Well, we ended up doing the trolling through the RE's egg donor book and not in person. Probably some laws against it anyway - directly offering cash for eggs. To make it legal you have to involve another layer to make a profit off of it.

  19. BTW, can I just say that I know understand why so many of you love Dr. Grifo? I was laughing out loud when he said that idiopathic was idiot doctors who dont know that pathology! I actually wrote it down to remember to tell my mom!

    Thanks for reminding me - I howled at that comment. I'm going to use it with all my doctor friends.

  20. re: Guiliana lying about her age -- backstage gossip -- in the green room, when she did that, there was a palpable "eye roll" from pretty much everyone in the room -- makes sense she'd be vain about herself if she's that vain about her husband! btw, did you see the beginning of the show this morning when Whoopi said "that girl can go to hell?" Yikes. (Whoopi was really ****** yesterday when she got offstage after that segment, angry that she was coming off looking mean, when she was just saying what everyone was thinking. So today she got her revenge I guess!)

    Anyway thanks for all the nice compliments -- we're about to go out to dinner on our last night in NY before going back to CA. Today's snow day was really one of the best days of my life. I have always dreamed of playing in fresh snow in Central Park and today it came true.

    Best to all of you!

  21. Who did Whoopie mean should go to hell - Giulianna?

    Have a fun evening Julie - where are you eating dinner?

  22. correction -- she said, re: guiliana, "To hell with that girl."

    Don\'t know where we're going for dinner yet -- somewhere w/i walking distance -- don't want to get into a cab with all the snow/slush refreezing as we speak!

  23. I heard Whoopi mutter "that's bullsheet, that's just bullsheet. She wants to have a baby and can't gain 5 lbs, that's just bullsheet." It was a classic. Best I've ever heard.

    As someone who tried EVERYTHING to get pg (including trying - unsuccessfully - to eat meat when some acupuncturist said I had to, after not eating meat for over 30 years), I know that there is no one magical fix, and most of it is old wives' tales. But if you're not ovulating....maybe it's a clue that there's some kind of problem???

  24. I just finished watching it, and Riri, I am so PROUD of you!
    You. Rock.
    (And you look fab too, by the way.) dumbazz exh.

  25. Riri, THANK YOU! For your willingness to speak out publicly about this he11. For all your advocacy work. For your amazing eloquence about how the stress of cycling takes such a toll on all aspects of one's life. I'm proud to know you.

    So sorry it was such a hard day for you. When the couple in your segment talked about IF making them closer, I also cringed for you. Sux. I know you worked so hard to try to make your marriage work. Signing the consent for the embryos was one more insult to injury, of which there were so many. You have every right to mourn the loss of those embryos. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

    On a lighter note, what the fuk is up with them not showing your shoes on camera? We know that's just WRONG! And, oh yeah, you are one HAWT 47 year old!

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