The View

(111 posts)(49 voices)
  1. Thanks for the link, meropi, but I think I'm out of luck:

    "You appear to be outside the United States or its territories. Due to international rights agreements, we only offer this video to viewers located within the United States and its territories."

    Bah!

  2. Riri, you are so pretty! You did an awesome job and represented us well. Thank you for your willingness to be on the show. I wish they'd let you talk without interruption for the whole hour. You look fabulous and you did us proud.

  3. Riri -what a big day for you!!! I hope all went well. You spoke so well (thank you for that)
    frans_L - thank u for representing us so well - your DH is so sweet.

    After reading the thread and while watching the segment I was paying close attention to what Barbara was saying about adoption.
    {caution - adoption process mentioned below}
    Being that we are in the process I really understood what she meant when she said you have to really love your child - not to stir any controversy but adoption is hard core and comes with a very big bag of physical and emotional issues. Embarking on this journey especially after IF is no joke and it is not for everyone. I certainly challenge myself every day (and the end is not near). I often see how many issues adoptive parents face and I wonder if we are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I suppose my point is that she meant to say that it was really hard and I read it as her saying "I get where you are coming from".
    Anyway, I don't mean to make this about adoption because it's not - IF is a big topic and it's so refreshing to see the conversation be so forward and open.

    Thanks again

  4. Hey ladies. I am watching it now on abc.go.com

    Riri - I am so proud of you!

  5. riri you are the picture of grace and eloquence. Wonderful job!

  6. Just want to chime in and Thank Riri, it was such a great representation. I really liked when you mentioned the physical and emotional toll that treatment takes on us. Thank you!

    frans_L and your husband, also great job! The book sounds great!

  7. Gahh, not letting me post a comment- it is daying I am already registered with my e-mail, but then I cannot get a password. Will try again tomorrow.

  8. Just finished watching the View. Riri, you were the epitome of eloquence and grace. I especially thought you did a great job of redirecting, when Babs et al moved off-topic.

    frans_L, loved the segment with you and your DH. Very real and candid. So great that DH can talk about these issues. My DH is more of 'pass the wings' kind of guy.

    Thanks again ladies. You did us proud.

  9. I was scanning channels and saw the big view ad and paused and was so grateful that i did as i listened i realized what was going on and who was representing us!

    riri,
    You so eloquently spoke on behalf of us. You have taken this to an international level and I am proud to have you at the forefront. You are an amazing woman and human being and your strength is admirable.

    frans_L,
    You too did an amazing job representing us. You and your husbands candour and humour not only highlighted the issues but presented it in a manner that was easy to digest.

    Thank you to both of you for your courage and strength.

  10. Very long day.

    Sherm, I'm sorry we didn't get to meet - we crossed paths but there never was the opportunity to talk. I didn't see your segment but sounds like you did great. I started watching my segment that I dvr'd and kind of had a little breakdown - it was really hard thinking about not just the IF losses but the marriage loss (and yes, I did sign my divorce papers tonight - more in a bit).

    I don't think I'm ready to actually watch it yet, Kate and Keith were really such nice people, but when he said IF brought them closer together, I had to look away, I couldn't listen to that. If I ever had any doubts that my marriage sukked, hearing them talk about the communication getting better and hearing the comments about Sherm's segment here reinforce the understanding about what I never had in my marriage. So I don't think I can watch Sherm's segment for a while, but wow, your dh sounds like a hero! Hold onto him.

    So, of all days, my lawyer got the signed documents from Ex and so I went to sign them tonight. After the day, which frankly, was really hard, I felt that I didn't get my message out and I kinda felt attacked by BW, it was just way too much to process. She seemed so sympathetic to Kate and Keith's 3 or 4 attempts and 3 m/cs, but I had 10 attempts and 4 m/cs, but she couldn't get past wanting to hear about what dh wanted, or what she thought he wanted. I guess that makes good tv, but it left me feeling even more battered.

    I was totally fine signing the Settlement Agreement, no emotion whatsoever. But then when I got to the Consent on Cornell letterhead, the oh so familiar looking consent, but this one was to sign over my embryos to research, I just kind of held the pen for a while and the tears just started dripping down my face. It really hurt and so I finally just scribbled my name. And then had to listen to my lawyer tell me why I was better off. I get what everyone thinks, that who wants his dna, and who wants him as the father of my children, and who needs to be intertwined with him further, but I will never feel better off about it. So much pain went into making those embryos, and I just don't know if I'll ever get to be a mom. I just don't think it's in my cards any longer. I'm so exhausted. And my body is so freaking shot.

    I did a 2 hour yoga workshop tonight with a celeb instructor and it was physically grueling (and since I never washed the makeup off, the fact that I was sweating tons, so much that it was dripping off of me meant that my mat was covered in foundation!) I actually don't even feel like drinking tonight, but I think I need to have at least one glass of wine to sort of toast my new single status. So ladies, here's to you!

    riri

  11. Riri you were wonderful, you did great! Thank you so much representing us all so well and getting some really good valid points across that so many other shows/people seem to leave out when discussing infertility. I have it DVR'd and I'm going to watch again tonight so I can check your shoes out . I wanted to scream when BW kept going on about DH not wanting children but FINALLY she listened!

    frans_L, you guys were great also. So funny and so real.

    I think The View did a wonderful job with this topic, the best I've seen so far compared to the other talk shows that I've watched. Normally it's fluff, no one speaks about the insurance issues, the emotional aspect, and what infertile people/couples really have to go through when under going treatments. I think maybe because all of the women on The View have dealt with some sort of IF issues, they were able to get a more accurate perception of it and get that across on the show. It seemed like some one did their homework and really got the best guest for this show, I mean what a range of guest speakers! Very refreshing to see that it really hits so many different people and you guys spoke so well about all the topics. One of the wonderful things about infertility it doesn't discriminate....

    The show actually brought me to tears as it brought back a lot of old memories for me that I've seemed to bury. I haven't cycled in years and I really don't know how I went though all that I did, I don't know how I fought the fight for so long. I also loved BW's point about adoption, it's not for everyone. Lots of people seem to think if you can't conceive you should "just adopt", and everything will be better. NOT.

    I also LOVED LOVED LOVED that they pointed out the celebs having babies in their late 40's and lots of those babies were IVF babies. People need to know this stuff!

    Very very dissappointed that Sherry seemed so clueless with some of the issues when she has been down the IVF road, I like WTF on that one... I had to laugh about her freezing her eggs at 42, sorry Sherry, but jezz. You're a member of IVFC(or use to be). I mean it's not impossible but come on now girl.... Love that Dr. G was so blunt with her though. No sugar coating and that was refreshing.

    Riri, I hope things went well tonight with the signing and I'm sorry about your embryos. Sucks...

  12. Riri,
    We were posting at the same time. DRINK THE WHOLE D@MN bottle, nope scratch that! DRINK TWO.

    You did wonderful and don't think for one moment that you didn't. I could have never had got up there and kept my sh!t together the way that you did. You should be very proud of yourself.

    How ironic that the day you do the View you sign your papers with exDH. What a mentally, physically exhausting day... I can't imagine.

    You have every right to mourn those embryos and all that you went through to make them so yes drink 2 flippin bottles honey. And I totally get the couple closer thing. I was thinking about you when they were speaking, knowing that it had to be very hard for you to hear that. But, it was nice to see the different sides of IF. Maybe I understood a little better though as I know your history.

    Anyway... I'm rambling. Just know that I'm thinking of you and once again you've made us ALL proud.

  13. Risa,
    You were elegant and graceful. You held your own and I love that you were able to redirect them in a couple of places. You are an awesome woman and you are the reason I started speaking up about IF in my life. If I can be half the advocate you are and positively affect someone else going through IF I would be glad.
    I am so sorry that you have to deal with this loss this second. I guess that your attorney was at loss and wanted to help make this more bearable? Raising my glass in toasting you!

    Sasha

  14. Riri,

    I saw you this afternoon and you did such a wonderful job! FWIW, I’m angry on your behalf for the aggravating way Barbara handled your portion of the interview. It seemed clear to me that she wasn’t really listening to what you had actually said, or responding to your points, but rather had her own agenda. I suppose she just wanted to get her adoption sound bite out there. While I agree in general with her sentiment on adoption, I thought it was out of place in response to the points you were trying to make and her comment about shame was actually insulting. I’m so proud of you for correcting her on that. Also, what was all that nonsense where she tried to insinuate that you somehow all along had been pressuring your ex into ttc against his wishes? As if not wanting to ttc now, during a divorce, is somehow the same as never having wanted to ttc. What a dingbat. She started out dingy when she said the other woman had “2 ½ miscarriages” and she only went downhill from there. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

    I also want to say I’m so sorry for all you have been through and are still going through. There really are no words for such an unfair situation. Thank you so much for your bravery to put your story out there and thank you for not letting dingy Barbara put words into your mouth or twist your story. I know in a similar situation I likely would have broken down crying or either gotten very angry, but you kept your composure. You really did a wonderful job.

    Bobo

  15. Hey Riri, I only saw a few minutes but did manage to see you. I hope to see the rest online. Thank you for being so brave. You did a great job. I'm sorry if you feel you didn't get your message all the way across. That seems to happen often when people are on TV. The fact remains you still brought attention to this issue in a real manner which is always good. Thank you for continuing to fight.

    I am so sorry about the rest of your day and the loss of your embryos. I can't even imagine this day you have had. Thinking of you.

  16. riri,
    I am so sorry for the day with such heartache and sorrow.

    As a vet I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sticking yourself and your heart out there to speak for us all. You did a great job. It was so cool to put a face to your name (and a beautiful face at that). so thanks.

    ps. sherm,
    great job on there too...your dh is quite funny.

  17. I was totally fine signing the Settlement Agreement, no emotion whatsoever. But then when I got to the Consent on Cornell letterhead, the oh so familiar looking consent, but this one was to sign over my embryos to research, I just kind of held the pen for a while and the tears just started dripping down my face. It really hurt and so I finally just scribbled my name. And then had to listen to my lawyer tell me why I was better off. I get what everyone thinks, that who wants his dna, and who wants him as the father of my children, and who needs to be intertwined with him further, but I will never feel better off about it. So much pain went into making those embryos, and I just don't know if I'll ever get to be a mom. I just don't think it's in my cards any longer. I'm so exhausted. And my body is so freaking shot.

    Riri, I never cease to be amazed by the stories of pain and heartbreak on this board and sadly your story is no exception. I'm so sorry for your losses, and you know that doesn't even come close to saying what I want to express. And thank you again - you were truly amazing yesterday.

    I just sent out an email with the hulu link to all of my friends and family encouraging them to watch it. We'll see what the response is...

  18. After the day, which frankly, was really hard, I felt that I didn't get my message out and I kinda felt attacked by BW, it was just way too much to process. She seemed so sympathetic to Kate and Keith's 3 or 4 attempts and 3 m/cs, but I had 10 attempts and 4 m/cs, but she couldn't get past wanting to hear about what dh wanted, or what she thought he wanted. I guess that makes good tv, but it left me feeling even more battered.
    Yeah, I was upset about that on your behalf. Here was BW patting the other ladies leg about her losses, but I'm thinking it's Riri who has really been thru the ringer.

    I didn't get BW was hunting for ratings with the xh angle, but just plain old didn't get it. It seemed like her agenda with you was to say that adoption isn't for everyone. Which isn't IF persay, but frequently goes hand in hand with it (esp in the general public eyes) so I think that was an awesome point to make. I can't ever remember that point being made in another show about IF!

    The View's representation was not without it's flaws, but honestly I think it's the best I've seen. Be proud of that.

    Now take it easy girl. You've been thru a tough few days.

  19. Didn't get to see it! Damn!

    For those of you annoyed by Sherri Sheppard and her disussion of IF, you might be interested to know that she was a poster here for YEARS. She went through a lot, and I always imagined she would be an eloquent speaker on the issues. I cringe thinking one of our own IF's didn't represent us well.

    But am proud to know that our own Riri represented us with dignity and grace.

    And you know what else? I think she'll check in on the POT boards today to see reaction. I think there should be some messages waiting there for her.

  20. Riri, I didn't know until I saw the show online that you lost embryos in the divorce. I'm so sorry.

  21. I saw it last night. The best View ever.

  22. I am so sorry Riri, I hadn't known about the lost embryos either. And I am sorry about your divorce and sucky marriage too. It is all so hard....

  23. Riri YOU WERE FANTASTIC! I was so annoyed by BW and you handled her with such grace! I am so sorry for the loss of your embryos. I know this must be a very hard time for you. You are in my thoughts!

  24. Didn\'t get to see it! Damn!For those of you annoyed by Sherri Sheppard and her disussion of IF, you might be interested to know that she was a poster here for YEARS. She went through a lot, and I always imagined she would be an eloquent speaker on the issues. I cringe thinking one of our own IF's didn't represent us well.But am proud to know that our own Riri represented us with dignity and grace.And you know what else? I think she'll check in on the POT boards today to see reaction. I think there should be some messages waiting there for her.

    You\'d think from posting anywhere on IVFC for years, she'd pick up a little bit of knowledge, but apparently not, so knowing she used to post here makes it MORE annoying.

    She went through a lot post-ivf, but she said she did one medicated (sex) cycle, one iui and one ivf. As far as infertility treatment, she's a newbie. She just doesn't have the experience (or brainpower, quite frankly) to be eloquent on the subject.

    Riri -- What can I say? You're amazing. You were beautiful, articulate and so well-composed. It was a little frustrating to watch, especially with BW latching on to whether xdh wanted kids. Um, BW, if you'd actually listen to your guests, you'd have known the context. Grrrrr.

    I know you wanted to get more points in about insurance mandates -- I watched you try and it sucked that they wouldn't let the conversation really go that way. But then, I guess they had a limited amount of time and their own agenda and really, that topic deserves it's own show.

    It was one of the better shows I've seen with infertility as a topic, but it's such a vast subject, it's impossible to do it justice in less than an hour. I'd love to see Infertility Week and have each day devoted to a different aspect.

    One of the reasons I hate talk shows (I'd never seen The View before) is that the hosts/hostesses never let their guests finish a sentence. It makes me insane.

    BTW...I LOVE the necklace you were wearing.

    Congrats on getting the settlement papers signed. Does this mean it's "official?" I know it was a shitty moment when you had to sign those Cornell papers. And I know that you would rather use those embryos and have a lifelong connection to Dickhead than not use them. I wish it were different. I'm sorry.

    xoxo

  25. I'm finally watching the show - Riri, you were GREAT. I'm so sorry you got the papers yesterday, so sorry about everything. You are a wonderful person, you looked amazing on camera, and I love you.

    I'm gonna watch the rest of the show now but wanted to say that much!

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