S/R from triplets to singleton we are devastated

(6 posts)(4 voices)
  1. We did our first fresh cycle in Sept of 2008 and 2 frozen cycles back to back two resulting in a early m/c and one negative. Our second fresh was this past Feb resulting in Triplets. As I'm sure I can speak for most people we were shocked and overwhelmed but excited. Over time I kept asking myself how will I do it, 3 babies is a lot of responsibility and I quickly realized that god gave me an amazing gift, he must know I could do it.

    I was married before for 18 years that marriage gave me 2 beautiful children a DD 18 and a DS 15. I had a tubule ligation at the age of 21, big mistake.

    My DH and I married in April of last year. My DH has never been married or had children so, we decided I wasn’t getting any younger; I was already 34 when we started IVF.

    On Wednesday June 22nd I went for a regular visit with my peri and found out that our identical twin girls had developed stage 3 out of 4 (ttt) Twin to twin transfusion. This usually starts earlier in most cases I was already 21 weeks. My doctor seems to think this started suddenly over the past few days. Sunday and Monday I kept saying I felt wired and couldn’t wait to go in on Wednesday. My dh and I had 2 chooses, 1 let nature take it's course and risk my life and the whole pregnancy or S/D. Before I could comprehend what was going on I was admitted to L&D and then on a plane headed to NY to see Dr Evens. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong on that miserable trip, from flight delays to crickets on the plane. So, the day was here and it was time to go through with the decision we had made. It was painful and I was sick and wanted to berry my head and die. I've have never been through something like that and never dreamed I would be making the decision to stop the heart beats of my children that I already loved and bonded with. I felt their first kicks, saw their heart beats, painted their room, bought them matching cloths, the shower invitations that said 3 pees in a pod were sent out and friends were buying gifts for them. I felt I was being punished for something and god changed his mind.

    Over the past few days I realize that thing just happen and we all have to make decisions that life brings us. None of us deserve to have to make these decisions, all we ever wont is to have a normal pregnancy and healthy children. Don't be like me and beat yourself up. I know I did what I had to, to save my son and myself.

    The hardest part of all this is, I now have to live with these two babies in side of me until I deliver my son. Maybe after I can put my life back together and enjoy my precious baby boy.

    Good luck to you.

    Tracy 22wk 1day with baby boy

  2. Tracy,
    sending many hugs your way. I'm sorry you had to go through such a difficult process. making the choice to reduce is not a position anyone wants to end up in and it seems especially rough in your case, being rushed into it at such a late stage in the game.
    I hope that you can find peace with the decision and go forward knowing that you made the choice that gives you the best chance for a healthy baby.

  3. hi tracy,
    i don't know if you remember me but i met you initially on the triplet mommies board when i found out i was too pregnant with identicals and a singleton.
    i am so sorry this happened to you and your babies. I am praying that your boy makes a strong, healthy appearance in 20 weeks and that you can find peace.

    I had a s/r at 12 weeks bc of the scare of ttt. Dr Evans is who i saw in NYC and gave us a 16% chance that all babies would be healthy if we carried them to term. It made me very sad for their potential quality of life. You did what you had to do to sustain the pregnancy. That is what i have found comfort in.

    Recently, we just found out that the placenta of the identicals (post s/r) is still completely covering my cervix and i have placenta previa. My dr seems to think that if i had continued i probably would be on complete bed rest or in the hospital and didn't think the outcomes for ANY of the babies would have been favorable. I truly now believe that the s/r did help to sustain one life which was the hope from the very beginning.

    I wish you the very best and you are in my prayers.


  4. Pumpkin- Yes. I do remember you. I'm sorry you had to make that decision but it sounds like you did the right thing.

    What did you think of Dr. Evans? I liked him but was shocked to hear him curse the way he did. It doesn't bother me but to hear a professional like him say it was kind of weird. I was also upset that he didn't give me a local or something to ease my nerves. That is something I didn't want to remember or be awake for. Oh, He floored me when he told me to drink enough alcohol to feel it, Ha. He said the uterus is a muscle and the alcohol would relax everything down there. I love to have a drink but since I’ve been pregnant, yuck.

    Hope you get better soon.

    tiana rahagalala- Thank you for the kind words, you are a very sweet person.

  5. 5 weeks after the loss of our girls I had our son by emergency c-s. I was 26 weeks pregnant when he was born.

    He was born July 24th at 11:45pm weighing in at 1 pound 12 onces. He is doing well now at 2 pounds 5 onces. We still have a long way to go before he comes home.

    Good luck to you girls!

    Tracy, baby boy 31 day's old!

  6. Tracy, congrats on the birth of your little one. Hope the NICU rollercoaster isn't too bad and you have him home soon.

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