October Cycle Buddies 2WW Version 2

(1173 posts)(10 voices)
  1. okay - i am feeling left out.... LOL

  2. Elizabeth (and Marie too)...PM me your address and I'll send to you also!

  3. THANK YOU so much Aggie for the letter. I have called the insurance company a moment ago & she basically told me I have been denied because of my history of endo and infertility. Umm, yeah they kinda of goes hand in hand !! She told me they would probably insure me if I only had one pre-exsisting condition. WTF? Is she serious? I am so raging mad right now! I just want to be picking out my donor mama. I now have to call the state insurance board to appeal it since Blue Cross will not even look at me. This feels like my worst nightmare ... so unfair. I'll fight & figure this out. I promise to keep everyone posted!!

    Hugs & love to everyone especially Aggie & Elizabeth, our mamas. I so badly want to join you too ~ to finish this circle of three. Don't worry I have a lot of FIGHT in me. Got that from you gals & always BELIEVING in our hearts.

    Breathing ... posting to you gals, I feel a bit calmer now. Thanks for being here for me.


  4. I'm confused?? and I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I’m trying to help.

    First of all WHO was this lady you spoke with? Was she a qualified individual with a doctors degree that was able to label you as infertile by looking at an application? Was she a doctor or just a claims processing clerk who looks for things (Screening process) to deny individual from insurance? Didn’t you once get pregnant but miscarry? I would have liked to ask her if she could explain how having endometriosis labels you as being infertile? Also lot’s of ladies with Endometriosis have babies and are NOT infertile as this Clerk/so called doctor is telling you. I would get a letter from you doctor as supporting documentation along with some research of ladies who have had babies with endometriosis in order to dispute what she said. But you will need to have her put that in writing so you have something to dispute against. If there is a misunderstanding and they are labeling ONE issue as two problems then you have something to fight against.

  5. Aggie - PM me your address too!! Thanks!!! xox

  6. Aggie,

    One, I'm now confused I know you are trying to help me. I thanked you! I appreciate you posting your letter. I plan to tweak the letter a bit but the wording really helped me get started. Thanks again! I'm going to send letters out before I leave for South Carolina next week.

    Two, I'll try to answer some of your questions. I spoke with a representative from Blue Cross. Not a doctor ... she then spoke to the underwriter. Sadly, no I've never been pregnant and therefore, I've never miscarried. She told me because my tubes were removed due to my endo has now "created" my infertility. Which partly is true, I can't get pregnant without an IVF treatment, like Elizabeth ... correct me if I'm wrong Elizabeth. It's not that she is telling me that lots of women with endo suffer from infertility ... That is the fact. Whether a woman has children or not, does not mean they still do not suffer from their infertility and visa a versa. About 80% of women (stat I just read recently) that suffer from endo have infertility issues, meaning difficulty getting or maintaining a pregnancy.

    Frustratingly enough, I called my doctor's office asking if they could write me a letter to help appeal my case. The person who answered the phone basically told me the doctor would need to know specifically what the insurance company needs blah blah ... so I think I will call Blue Cross back on Monday & yes ask for something in writing. I did get something in writing already in the mail which only mentioned I was denied due to my endo only.

    I will figure this mess out, just might not be cycling when I thought I would be. The simple solution as I said jokingly is if Chris could only find a job. It is much easier to find an insurance company to accept your pre-conditions with a group policy than as an individual. Praying Obama sticks to his word on this reform!

    Hugs to all,

  7. Yes Megan - it's true for me... no tubes. My 2 cents here would be to call back your doctors office and get that letter. It's a pain - but if they have all the information - they should be able to write you a letter of appeal. It couldn't hurt - only help. We got charged for blood tests that supposedly weren't covered to the tune of $800. Once my RE wrote the letter - they dropped the charge. Just give him a 'cheat sheet' to help him in the writing. They should be able to do it.
    Do you have a nurse friend at the office? It's sometimes easier talking to them than the office staff.

  8. Elizabeth,

    That is going to be my plan of action tomorrow morning to call the doctor's office again. Maybe what I need to do is contact PFC (Pacific Fertility Clinic too) ... I know I need is verbage, how to talk the talk if you will so I can get a helpful positive letter that will help benefit my cause. I has slowed me down but I'll figure it out.

    We just came back from seeing Invictus ~ fabulous film. I highly recommend it. I think Morgan Freeman might be nominated for an Oscar! Matt Damon looks great in those rugby shorts! Nice ...

    Another cold and rainy day here in the Bay.


  9. Good luck Megan. Your RE is on your side. He/She will plead your case as they have to think this to be as outlandish as we all do.

  10. Hi Meegan ~ I said the following because I didn’t want you to think I was trying to give you a hard time with my many questions. It was sort of a. Hey **FYI** I’m going to ask a few questions because I want to try and help with your letter. I didn’t want you to think I was giving you a hard time with my questions… It was just a heads up. I’m sorry that threw you off. I wanted to get your wheels turning with my questions.

    SO… You spoke with an underwriter. Beautiful! It only further strengthens/qualify’s your case for an appeal. An underwriter is NOT qualified to make such medical decisions. Which is why I asked that question. She is there to pre-scan these applications and when a red flag comes up, they automatically deny it and it’s up to you to appeal (which we all know you are going to do). So cool they have not shut the door.

    She told me because my tubes were removed due to my endo has now "created" my infertility. Which partly is true, I can't get pregnant without an IVF treatment,

    This is exactly what I was trying to say. Just because you have no tubes does NOT mean you cannot become pregnant. (I have no tubes and became pregnant) Endo did not cause your infertility, You are NOT infertile, yes you had to have your tubes removed, but you still have your ovaries which are in working order (RE can speak on that and explain the process) and going thru IVF will only assist you in becoming pregnant. Also further explain that

    Originally Posted by fromrose

    About 80% of women (stat I just read recently) that suffer from endo have infertility issues, meaning difficulty getting or maintaining a pregnancy.

    20% of women who suffer from endo do not have infertility issues. BUT….I would be very careful on how you word this part. This is where your RE can help assist you…

    Originally Posted by fromrose
    I did get something in writing already in the mail which only mentioned I was denied due to my endo only.

    This is what you need to explain and fight. If they denied you for endo only… then fight this part. If the underwriter came to the conclusion of denying you because you have no tubes there is no mention of that and they can not go back and come up with another reason. If they do, you still have a strong case.

    Yes it’ll take some time but you’ll get there.. Draft a letter out for your RE so it can help get the wheels rolling for him.

    Hugs and best wishes

  11. Elizabeth ~ PM me your address so I can send you a xmas card

  12. The door has been shut on me. I'm so glad that you were able to get your appeal approved. I am so down & depressed like my infertility has not "punished" me enough. I will not be posting here for sometime. I have called more numbers today (Blue Cross & Health Net) ... AND GOT NO WHERE.

    Tried my new RE's office to see if they had suggestions. She could not offer me any help. Gave me another insurance company in which I called. Insurance person at HealthNet was that "Blue Cross denied you then we will as well." She then asked me what my pre-existing conditions were ... I explain I have a hx of endo. Really I should not even in a way mention it but it is all in my medical records. Insurance cares about the infertity treatment as two people told me today "risk of having multiples as well as not knowing what the drugs might do in the future." In which I told her, only a bad doctor would allow another OctoMom to happen. I don't even know what I'd say in an appeal letter. Coverage isn't possible and neither is being a mom for me. There are no doctors to talk to when talking to insurance. The red tape is a joke!

    Anyway, I don't really see any hope. I know I am not supposed to post that. I know I am supposed to be happy & all but I frankly can't in this moment. I need to move forward and realize this isn't happening. I have gotten really hurt in the last 8 years. This infertility fight has taken a lot out of me and my marriage. I'm so tired of things not working for me. I so badly want to parent but it is time to throw in the towel.


  13. Oh Meegan I'm so sorry your going thru this. Please dont give up. Write the appeal letter, that is your right you can still appeal their decision and they will have to look into it. Also after I'm done with my current situation, I will stimulate again for you and give you my eggs. I dont know how much that will save you but hang in there honey.... There's always a way. Please lets just appeal first and see what happens. I will write you a letter soon and will draft out an appeal letter for you. Hang in there... Please.. You WILL be a mom even if I have to carry for you. I'm here for you.

  14. Just thinking of you girls. Hope you all had a great Christmas.

  15. Thinking of you girls. Have a happy new year.

    So sad that everyone has left.


    Where is everyone? Aggie - how's everything going with the pregnancy? Did you have your NT scan yet?????

  17. I know I am reactionary. I know that ...

    I'm sorry if I over-reacted. I feel that I was pushed up against the wall with TRYING and TRYING for insurance. I finally got insurance! I'm paying up the nose but I have it. I just can't claim anything for a year with my endo, which is fine since I'm not going to need anymore surgery. Monday, Chris and I are going down to get our blood draw to get this ball rolling. I do so badly want to parent but my last post I was just so frustrated.

    Elizabeth & Aggie, I hope you both are doing well with your pregnancies. And I do pray with all my heart that in 4-5 months time I too will be joining you. I still need to complete this circle of three. Good things happen in threes!!!

    Still no word on the adoption front, except that 4 letters went out in November and 1 in December. I'm trying to believe but all I'm used to hearing is negative news. I have a lot of fight in me and it is true I do sometimes feel like giving up but I know in my heart I must try a donor cycle to know I literally tried everything.

    Thank you Aggie, Elizabeth and Stacie for your lovely Christmas cards. I do feel all you gals (including Marie, of course) are apart of my family.
    Love to each of you. All the best for 2010 & again I'm sorry for being such a downer on our thread. I just felt like the world around me was crushing me after 2 weeks of talking to insurance jerks. Maybe I needed time with my mom to rejuvate and regain my strength. Moms are good for that!!

    I feel so hopeful for 2010, especially now that I do have temporary insurance.


    PS ... I'll keep you posted on my next steps.

  18. Ok ladies, where is everyone ?? Happy New Year to everyone, hope 2010 is a great one for all of us.

    Megan - So happy that you got some insurance and you can rocking on this IVF stuff. What is going on now? Are you moving forward with the the donor eggs? I hope so! Any news on the adoption front, i know that at times that can take long. I hope and pray that this is your year, it has to be!!!!

    Aggie - How far along are you? Are you 20 weeks yet? Any updates on the sex? Are you finding out? Names, etc...give us the scoop

    Elizabeth - I know you just hit 25 weeks! Woohoo...are you getting the nursery ready? I guess we will just have to wait till the little one arrives to hear the name

    Stacy - Thanks for the cute holiday card. The boys are A-dorable!! Are you all settled in your new house?

    Things are good here...Addison turns 1 next month, can't believe it! The time goes by so fast. She is still a really hard baby, just never seems happy unless you are focused on her 24/7. She follows me all over the house and if i am out of her sight for 2 sec she cries. It is nice to be loved, but it can be a bit much! At least she is finally sleeping thru the night. Ava is good, she is a handful as well. She is doing the terrible two thing every now and then and i am still trying to get her potty trained. Some days she does good and others not so much, owell eventually. I just want one out of diapers

    Ok ladies, hope to hear from all of you soon!!!

    Hugs to you all!


  19. Turned out the insurance thing was a scam! I'm so very tired of fighting .. I swear I'm a good person. I'm sadly back to square one: finding insurance. Life is not meant to be this hard, right??

    On the plus side, Chris and I did though get our blood taken. His tests came back normal. I'm still waiting to hear my results. I'll have to call Monday which could be tough since its MLK day.

    Great news is Chris won his unemployment appeal!!! We should be seeing some $$ in the next week or two.

    I can't believe Addison is nearly 1. I love their photo Marie. It's on our fridge. Beautiful girls.

    Hugs to everyone!!

  20. First of all - Thank you all for your lovely Christmas cards....what nice looking families and couples you all are!

    Megan - I'm sooo sorry for the stuff you're being put through to get medical insurance....and what a disappointment (understatement) to find out the one you had gotten was a scam. Why does it seem that everything has to go wrong sometimes....to good people???? I wrote something of FB the other day that I thought about after the fact, and it really could've hurt some peoples feelings, including yours. Ironically enough, you actually "like"d it. I was counting down the hours until I could put my 2 boys to bed, and I feel bad that here you are just probably wishing you had 2 little ones to say mommy, mommy and have demands that need to be met. I am sooo sorry if that hurt your feelings at all. I do remember being there, and I would wonder how people could be so inconsiderate with their comments sometimes, and not think about how those comments could affect others. I'm so glad that your hubby's unemployment was approved. I sincerely hope that you can get all the medical stuff figured out soon.

    You know, I don't often get frustrated about things that Dr. Phil says or does because I usually agree with him, and I love how he is so frank with people when they need it. But the other day he had a couple on that had been trying for 1 1/2 years to get pregnant...he had their baseline testing done and the DH was determined to have major issues with his sperm. So he had an RE on that talked to them about possibilities to get pg. and then she proceeded to tell them that she would be their doctor and that her facility would do a procedure for them at no cost. Give me a break (well I wish I had been given that break when we were forking out the money to do procedures). I guess it just frustrated me that just because they went onto his show that now they should be allowed that opportunity when there are so many other couples out there that have tried for many years, many procedures, already exhausted most of their resources (financial as well as physical, emotional, etc.) to try with no success, and still have the deep desire to be parents.

    Anyways, sorry for the rant.

  21. Hi Ladies - Just checking in.....

    Megan - how are you doing? Blood tests normal? I am sure everything is fine. What is your next step? Things moving along? So glad Chris won his appeal... That is fantastic!

    Stacie - I hear you on the un-fairness of the world!! Some people have all the luck.

    Aggie - You must have had your NT scan by now??? How are you feeling? Are you in the 2nd trimester??? Can't believe it!!

    Not much new here - 2 more weeks until the 3rd trimester for me. Just passed my glucose screening ...phew....

    Marie- Hang in there - those 2 little ones sure are keeping you busy!!

  22. Stacie,
    You are too SWEET to be concerned about me. I can divide my feelings into wanting to become a mommy & your frustrations of parenting. I promise I was not offended at all. As a matter of fact, I put myself in your position imagining what I would do in that situation. Monday, I'm going to tackle this insurance mess again. It takes a tremendous amount of patience when in fact I do not take medication so I think it is crazy that I am denied for insurance. I'll keep you posted! All I want is insurance ... it should not be this hard at all.

    I'm sure you must be getting excited & maybe nervous ( I know I would be) for you little girl to arrive in 13 weeks. I have not heard back from PFC for my blood tests. They too are on my list to call Monday. I don't know if I am going right into a cycle though. I have not been feeling that great again. I have self diagnosed myself as having an adrenal issue. I'm going to see a naturopath so I can try get healthy & try hopefully in the next few months. I ache a lot and my glands are up which hence means my energy is low. I was reading that if your adrenal glands function low that maintaining a pg may be tough (maybe that has always been my problem). Something traditional doctors are not looking into.

    I know a few more adoption letters went out in December. Chris and I have signed up for two classes: an infant CPR & infant welcome home through the adoption agency. I'm hoping if my adrenals start feeling better (I'm trying this new diet ... no coffee & trying to give up wheat. I tried it before but didn't stick to it.) then I can give the donor cycle the best chance for success.

    Hope you are ok. It has been a long time since we heard from you. Thinking of you!!

    Hugs to all,

  23. Hi Girls

    I'm sorry I havent checked in. I've just been laying low. All is well and the NT scan was good. We'll find out the sex in 2 weeks (Feb 11) which happens to be our anniversary.

    Elizabeth ~ I still havent logged into Face book. It's difficult to find the time. I'm still trying to work on Coopers baby book and I havent even done that... I hope your feeling well these days. I'm sure your nursery is all set and ready to go. So exciting for you. I'm very happy for you.

    Stacie.. I loved your card those boys are adorable, I'm sure I'll be feeling the same way (reg. counting the hours) heck I feel that way now, only problem is that I fall asleep right with him

    Meegs ~ I just dont know what to say... I h*ate that your going thru all this, it just kills me. Will you be looking for a job soon? I ask becasue then you'll be able to get insurance.... I dont know what to say or suggest.. I just wish you well and hope that 2010 is better for you both.

    Take care girls...


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