November cycle DE buddies needed

(505 posts)(25 voices)
  1. Hi!
    I am starting this thread a little early as I will be starting BC soon (Oct 11th!).
    A little about myself, I have had 3 failed fresh IVF cycles over the last year and finally crossed the threshold to accepting my failure and using a Donor.
    I am scared, I am strong, and I need to find some friends that can share with me.
    Anyone's posts will be appreciated. I am very thankful for these boards. They have helped me immensely over the past 1 1/2.

    Thanks...

    Claire

  2. I posted under October cycles, but I'm technically a November girl, too! My donor has started bcps, and is set to start stims Oct. 23, with an estimated retrieval Nov. 2, 3, 4ish. I'm getting super excited and nervous, because if this doesn't work, we are going to have to be DONE. We are flat broke. DH always jokes that we are not going to be able to afford the baby once we get it! TRUE! We have done 3 fresh cycles also.

  3. I'd like to join in. I am also very thankful for these boards. It's my lifeline to sanity.

    I'm 40 and DH is 38. We've been TTC for 6 yrs (2 natural pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, 3 OE IVF cycles -OOP, 2 bfns, 1 chemical) and still no baby. I'm emotionally, physically and financially drained. So, we're letting go and accepting the DE journey. Dates aren't confirmed yet (mid-November), but we've been pre-matched with a donor. I'll find out more on our phone consult on Oct. 5. I'll keep you posted.

    Claire - thanks for starting the thread.

  4. I'm hoping to join you ladies. My donor is going through screening. If all goes well, we expect a late-November or first week of December retrieval. It will either be the week before Thanksgiving or the week after, since the clinic (ORM) is closed over Thanksgiving. This is my first attempt with DE, and I'm nervous but cautiously optimistic.

    Diana

  5. Hi Diana, Heather and "wish be Mom",
    I was feelin kind of lonely so I am glad I jumped and started this thread. I am on another board from last year. 3 already have kids, 1 delivering any day now and me and another "still waitin" I am active on it but Their journey is changing. I am now on to DE and really nervous. Its gettin close.
    We were the optomistic ones and waited to tr till in our 40's. WHAT A YEAR ITS BEEN! I am sure you all can relate.
    Heres my question of the day that I never thought or considered. How is blood type decided on in a child. Is this something we would have to "worry" about??
    My "tent" schedule says retrieval wk 11/11....BCP's and lupron soon for me?!
    Happy Oct 1st

    Claire

  6. Claire - I think blood type is only important if you're in the "no tell" camp, otherwise it shouldn't be an issue. We're going to share our journey with our future child/children, so it wasn't a priority for us.

    Since this is our 1st (and hopefully last) attempt with DE, I'm also getting nervous. Sending positive vibes to everyone!

    Mags

  7. Even if you are of the no tell camp, I can't imagine blood type would be that big of a deal. I have no idea what my parents' blood type is. A lot of people don't know what their own blood type is.

    I'm too lazy to google for it now, but I vaguely remember hearing about a condition that can occur when a woman carries a baby that is an incompatible blood type. It does not affect the pregnancy, but the woman develops antibodies that keeps her from being able to have any future pregnancies. Something like that. I have heard about it happening to surrogates.

    We are also of the tell camp.

    -D

  8. Diana - you're right, I don't even know my parents' and siblings' blood types. The only reason I know DH's type is because of DE IVF.

    But, based on other posts, the reason blood type is important for the "no tell" camp is for future possiblities of medical problems. They want to be prepared just in case blood type info is ever needed (blood transfusion, organ donor, or other illnesses/diseases). By matching the donor blood type now, it helps them remain in the "no tell."

    The other blood type issue involves Rh-negative (0-, A-, B-, AB-) women. It's an additional shot post pregnancy.

    From MedicineNet.com
    The idea underlying Rhogam is if anti-Rh antibody is given soon after delivery, it blocks the sensitization of the mother and prevents Rh disease from occurring in the woman's next Rh-positive child. Rhogam is now given routinely to Rh-negative women after pregnancies in which they carried Rh-positive fetuses to prevent the mother's immune system from reacting to the Rh-positive blood of any subsequent fetus.

    I hope that helped.
    Mags

  9. Claire-Thank you for starting this thread. I've been looking for a November thread and I really appreciate it.

    I'm starting BC in two days and my donor starts hers next week. This will be my third cycle with DE. The first cycle resulted in a twin pg but m/c @ 8 wks. We had to cancel the second one due to extreme nausea. Now after consulting with a perinatologist regarding the nausea we're better prepared and ready to go. ET will be sometime in mid-Nov. and I'm excited. I love my donor b/c she's also asian and is a pre-med student.

    W2BM and hopeful-I'm glad you answered the blood type question. I had been wondering about that too.

    We're also at the tell camp.

    Here comes my boss...

  10. Wow,
    Thanks for all the info!
    We are in the no tell camp but I don't know why it would make a difference to a child unless the donor was known?? Is there something I'm missing??
    AFM, I am out of town for business and workin like a dog! I will need to gear up for the cycle and limit my schedule and travel. I am feeling very nervous and feeling so not in control and I didn't even start!
    Thanks for sharing,
    Lacy, Mags, Diana and Heather.
    Did I miss anyone??
    Claire

  11. Hi Claire-My reason for telling is so he/she can have another set of family to connect with since ours is so small. Maybe the donor information will be more accessible by then.

  12. Lacy,

    Do you know your donor or just meet her?? You mentioned this will be your 3rd cycle so I assume you have had a relationship with her??
    What is perinatologist?? Were you nauseas do to the meds ??
    I am supposed to start BC on my 1st day of my AF. I am due any day now too so we will be pretty close to each other!
    I think you are starting today!

    Claire

  13. Claire-Yup, I'm starting my BC today.
    I had severe morning sickness during my first cycle and I couldn't eat or drink for days. I finally had to be hospitalized to rehydrate. It took the nurses 15 tries to get an IV in. Ouch. So when I felt extremely nauseous on my second cycle, I quit b/c there didn't seem to be a solution.
    A perinatologist is an OB who specializes in high risk pg so they know what to do for my problem. My OB on the first cycle should've consulted with a peri but she decided I should just tough it out. I have several colorful expletives for that ignorant woman.
    I had a different donor for each cycle. No I haven't met her but I have her photos and bio. I got a feel for her personality based on the way she answered the donor questionnaire. I've literally read at least 50 bios of different donors. I'd rather not meet her b/c I'm afraid it'll complicate the process so I'm happy about the anonymity.
    Claire and all the ladies-How did you find your donor?

  14. Mornin,

    Ok, I start my BC today and lupron next Sunday! Its weird that I'm excited to take pills and needles for the rest of the month. I hate both! My RE in on vaca at the end of the month so we need to coordinate that too

    We have been in the no tell camp from Day one. We are and have always been private people. I do agree it would have been harder to accept the failures with also having to tell multiple people. I didnt want to even go back in for Beta **anyone else feel that way?**

    My RE Matched us with the donor. She has 2 "gorgeous" kids (the RE and coordinator claim", hair and eye color matched to me and coincidentally o+ blood is mine too? I just found this out. She just cycled Aug/Sept and stimmed well. This will be her 2nd client

    Lacy, you said your donor was asian too, are you asian??

    Thanks again girls,

    Claire

  15. Hello Ladies,

    I am joining this group somewhat reluctantly because, like some of you, I am always left behind every time I join a cycle buddy group. If you want to get PG, stick with me because everyone else except me seems to end up on the right side of the statistics! But since this is my last shot, I'm stepping up to support others and find support for myself.

    About me:
    Been TTC since October 2006. My cycles have always been really short (21 days, roughly). I've been officially TTC for 43 cycles. I was diagnosed with high FSH (20) at the age of 31. We went straight to the RE, who told me I had to do three IUIs. All failed.

    Finally on to IVF in January 2008.
    IVF#1 was cancelled during stims due to oversuppression. IVF #1.5 ended in an ectopic pg., surgically removed.
    IVF #2 was cancelled at transfer due to all arresting.
    IVF#3,4,5,6 all ended in BFNs.
    Tried acu for 6 months... lengthened cycles but made no difference in my IVF results.

    Now we are pursuing DE. I'm terrified. I've been hit by so many trains, so many times. It's nearly impossible for me to cultivate any hope.

    That's my ugly story.

    Hoping to get to know you all better and hopefully we can all get lucky here.

  16. Welcome Dreamer, I am so sorry to hear of ALL of your losses. I never knew so much effort and heartache until I joined these boards.
    They are extremely helpful for me.
    Where are you with your donor?
    Our thread is slowly starting but I am trying to stay positive right now, and I'm in the same boat so bring it! AND I'm glad you wrote
    I will be around.....

    Claire

  17. OK, I'm going to join you guys even though I think there's a chance I'll be starting later than November! Here's a little about me:

    33 years old, TTC for 5 years, 4 failed IVF cycles w/my own eggs (normal FSH, high responder but poor quality embryos). 4 chemical pregnancies (3 from natural cycles, 1 from DE cycle). 1 DE cycle in January resulted in chemical pregnancy (disaster of a cycle. My twice proven donor had a horrendous cohort of eggs....only 2 "ok" quality embryos left to transfer on day 3).

    We got the adoption process started but that's a story for another day. We decided to give DE another go! We will be moved to the top of our clinic's list for a donor being we already had a failed cycle. They said we should be matched in a matter of a few weeks.

    I'm scared to death to start again but excited at the same time! Nice to "meet" all of you!

  18. CINTHIA

    Hello too! Wow, your DE had a bad cycle? That is my fear, any ideas why??
    So far, we seem to have Heather, Mags, Diana, Lacy, Dreamer and now you.
    You also mentioned chemical's. Is that when your beta number is high but not high enough?? I get so confused!
    I am a member of another board and all of the girls (5) have delivered but 1. They all are still trying to be supportive, but I think since I am new to ED...That I will need to talk to girls who are in the same mind set and boat together.

    TTYL,
    Claire

  19. Welcome dreamer and CINTHIA I'm sorry for the challenges and losses you have faced. May we all find comfort, strength and support in this thread for our upcoming DE cycles.

    lacy - our clinic has a donor pool. It's totally anonymous - no pictures. We specified our wants and priorities. Got matched in a week. Unfortunately, we get very limited info (due to country's regulation): height, weight, age, proven, university grad, ethnicity, & blood type.

    Just finished my phone consult with gennet.cz/eng/asist_reprodukce/asist_reprodukce.htm(in Prague, Czech Republic). The international coordinator patiently answered all my neurotic questions. It's nice to associate a voice with all the emails we've exchanged. MD's only concern is my short cycle of 23 days which extended to 27 days last month. I've been doing weekly acupuncture since May, so that may have regulated my system . I'm just waiting for AF and we'll get started.

    How are you ladies doing?

    Mags

  20. CINTHIAHello too! Wow, your DE had a bad cycle? That is my fear, any ideas why??So far, we seem to have Heather, Mags, Diana, Lacy, Dreamer and now you.You also mentioned chemical's. Is that when your beta number is high but not high enough?? I get so confused!I am a member of another board and all of the girls (5) have delivered but 1. They all are still trying to be supportive, but I think since I am new to ED...That I will need to talk to girls who are in the same mind set and boat together.TTYL,Claire

    Hi! Thanks for the welcome!! My RE said my failed DE cycle was a result of a bad group of eggs from the donor....he said it happens sometimes and it's just a "fluke". Yup, a chemical is when you have a (usually) low beta initially and it doesn't increase as it should. "Chemical" means you had a positive beta but miscarried before ever seeing a sac or a heartbeat. HTH!

    I'm hoping to be matched with a donor soon! I want to get moving!!

  21. Hi Claire, Heather, CINTHIA, Mags, Dreamer, and Diane!

    Grrr...I typed for half an hour yesterday and then my computer crashed.

    Claire-Your donor sounds pretty ideal down to her bloodtype. It's good that she has had kids and has donated before. I lost $5k b/c my first donor flaked. One of the agencies said that at least 30% of new donors don't make it to ET.

    My DH and I are asian; luckily we live in Southern Cali. where there are lots of asian donors but it's still tough to find the one we feel comfortable with. Too many party girls.

    My donor and I are both o positive too just like you and yours.

    Dreamer-I'm sorry you had to go thru so much. I hope the DE route would be much better. I immediately went to DE b/c my RE told me I had a 10% success rate and our medical insurance doesn't cover anything. This was an easy decision for me b/c I have also some family genetics I don't want passed on.

    CINTHIA-I'm sorry to hear about your tough times too and the DE bad luck. I hope you'll be matched with a donor soon!

    Mags-My donor's AF will be this week and she'll begin her BC. I've started on mine and I'm using Nuvaring this time b/c I get nauseous with BCPs. I love it b/c I have no side effects so far and I'm sleeping better. I tend to have insomnia so this is such a treat.

  22. Hi
    Well, I know we all just met but I kind of have a funny story!
    I am trying to gear up for this cycle, I got my hair touched up Sat (thinking I might not be able to get "color" if it works, I've been working out (to try to stay sane) changed to 1/2 decaf coffee, got a tan and spray tan (want to look good) and got a bikini wax. This is the issue
    My usual girl is on vacation...needless to say, I am practically BALD! UgH! I knew something was wrong from the "heat" down there but it was too late!
    OMG, I have an appt for a test friday with my RE....I am gonna be embarrassed! Anyone have a suggestion!!??
    just tryin to keep it light girls! Yes, I'm starting to stress out.
    Did you all get a calendar and appx dates for the transfer, meds etc??

    How does nuvaring work??I think I saw it on TV?

  23. HiWell, I know we all just met but I kind of have a funny story! I am trying to gear up for this cycle, I got my hair touched up Sat (thinking I might not be able to get "color" if it works, I've been working out (to try to stay sane) changed to 1/2 decaf coffee, got a tan and spray tan (want to look good) and got a bikini wax. This is the issueMy usual girl is on vacation...needless to say, I am practically BALD! UgH! I knew something was wrong from the "heat" down there but it was too late!OMG, I have an appt for a test friday with my RE....I am gonna be embarrassed! Anyone have a suggestion!!??just tryin to keep it light girls! Yes, I'm starting to stress out. Did you all get a calendar and appx dates for the transfer, meds etc??How does nuvaring work??I think I saw it on TV?

    This made me chuckle this morning! Well, the way that I look at it is these REs have probably seen it all.....and I mean EVERYTHING! I remember back in the days when I actually went to an OBGYN (haven't seen anyone but an RE in years!), there was an 85 year old woman in the waiting room one time....and I thought to myself, geez, no matter how I'm looking right now, I've sure gotta look better than her! LOL

  24. Hi Mags~
    I see you are working with Gennet in Prague. I to am starting the process with them. This will be my 3rd trip to Czech. I had done the clinic in Zlin 2 times previous. Can you enable your PM or contact me? I have a couple questions.
    Thanks melani

  25. Melani - pm is ready to go. Happy to chat with a fellow Gennet patient. When are you going?

    Claire - I like your cycle preparation. Sorry, don't have any suggestion for you and ....TMI - I like having mine shaved off anyway. Like CINTHIA said, REs have seen everything.

    Happy Hump Day ladies!

    Mags

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