Nov/Dec 2009 cyclers with multiple cycles done

(68 posts)(8 voices)
  1. Marsaine- yes I sent a photo in for the photo matching. If you only have one donor that you are sure about- they may not charge you the full amount. It wasn't horribly expensive but I had 6 top picks, and they photo matched to those and chose my number 1. They did this for me the same day they received my photo package b/c we were on a deadline.

    What you need to find out is what type of specimen your clinic wants for an IVF cycle- all are different. Then make sure that the donor you want has it available, if not, call them and find out when they will have it, and if there is a wait list get on it.

    I had to get on a \"wait\" list, and they called me like a couple of days later- and I had 24 hours to decide- hence the rush. They were very helpful. Depending on the type of donor you pick- my donor had the option of allowing a child to contact them after the age of 18, we had to do special paperwork, notorizing etc. When you order the sperm you have to also have paperwork and agreements notorized and sent in immediately with both of your signatures. You can purchase the sperm and have it stored there until you are ready to ship it. It sounds complicated but I did all of this within 3 -4 days. My advice is if you think this is the donor you want- then overnight a photo after you have spoken to one of the genetic/ photo matching ladies. Ask them if they can simply compare your dh photo to the adult photo versus you having to compare to multiple donors.

    You don't want to \"wait\" to order if you are sure about your choice- b/c they can possibly not have what you need when you go to get it in the future. Maybe even buy more than 1, just in case. But these are all decisions up to you. Hope that helps.

    Jen

  2. Starr- if I make it to donor egg it will be my first cycle doing it- all previous cycles my egg and last with donor sperm.

    I plan to use dh sperm unless we get a ton of eggs- and maybe then I will fertulize a few with donor sperm.

    Dh and I are all of a sudden having issues, not that we haven't in the past. He was \"drinking\" this weekend, we got into it- and he told me he doesn't want another child, period. Of course last night he didn't say that, but we r having some stress here over it all. I don't know what will happen. He said he doesn't want twins. But I think it is more than that. We have a lot of stress in our lives with family living with us and too many bills. We r literally usually just passing each other coming and going, working to stay afloat. Sigghhh it never seemsa to end.
    Jen

  3. Jen - Sounds like you sure have a lot on your plate right now. Stress can just bring out that evil side we try to keep hidden (or at least keep under control!)... Me and my DH have shared a fair amount of stress already too, and we've only been married 4 1/2 years. I would think your husband wants to try again, he's probably just focusing on all of the other things you have going on in your life... thinking it might be better to wait. I know that's what my DH told me when I first wanted to try and start a family... It wasn't the right time... But then life happens and things come at yout hat you just have no control over. After the cancer scare I realized the time wil never be perfect to start a family. If it is something you really want, just do it... My DH gave in.... =)

    Marsaine

  4. Starr- if I make it to donor egg it will be my first cycle doing it- all previous cycles my egg and last with donor sperm.

    I plan to use dh sperm unless we get a ton of eggs- and maybe then I will fertulize a few with donor sperm.

    Dh and I are all of a sudden having issues, not that we haven't in the past. He was \"drinking\" this weekend, we got into it- and he told me he doesn't want another child, period. Of course last night he didn't say that, but we r having some stress here over it all. I don't know what will happen. He said he doesn't want twins. But I think it is more than that. We have a lot of stress in our lives with family living with us and too many bills. We r literally usually just passing each other coming and going, working to stay afloat. Sigghhh it never seemsa to end.
    Jen

  5. Hey there! Looks like I was a little off when I thought I was going to be cycling in Nov/Dec... Looks more like October, finding out in Nov.... I just got the call from my RE's office that my BETA went negative (finally!) and I can do the next cycle of IVF with this coming AF. I am so excited! I have a meeting scheduled with my RE to tweak my protocol on the 9th. Sorry that I won't be going through it all with you but I would like to still check in to see how everyone's doing if that's okay?

    I hope everyone's having a great day!

    Marsaine

  6. Hey Jen......
    how are you?

  7. Hello all ladies!

    Im Natasha,had a blighted ovum a year ago after having FET with 2 donated embies from our clinic here in AZ...<br /><br />Now thinking of FET with donated embies or egg donor split cycle,were not 100% sure yet...Thinking about CNY...

    I see so many issues between couples and it always reminds me of how we,women are so much more determined than men about having this baby!!

    Yes,DH wants a baby very much but he wants it with his own sperm only and this is a big issue since our budget wont really allow it unless itll be a split cycle.

    I wish men would be a little more flexible like we are...

    All I can do for now is investigate rates and success rates as all expenses beside meds are on us.

    But just like you,jenga,and like many others,Im so freakin determined to have a baby that NOTHING in the world can ever stop me!!It`s just greater than life itself for me!

    So good luck to all and lots of baby dust!

    Natasha.

  8. I had originally thought of doing another cycle with my own eggs also.... I probably would if I were w/o DH...... My chances are VERY low as well.... But my issue with DH is that every time we spend a bunch of money and get a BFN, him and I have a drag out and he says he is not doing it anymore..... So for me I need to go with the most promising way to concieve.... Plus I will be 38 in Dec. DH is 42 and we have no child at this time....

    If DH is willing to try agin, I would do it.....We are using donor sperm, so I figure, WTH may as well be donor eggs also and up my chance to 75-80%..... Plus my IVF cycle was a nightmare, and just dont think I could do it again! I had 28 eggs and NCCRM let my Estrogen get to 7500!!!! Yes I developed OHSS and it was awful.... and then the depression from all the hormones after the BFN..... wooooo, I wished it hadnt been such a bad time, one reason why NCCRM is NOT my favorite.....

  9. Starr- keep hanging with us- I may end up doing something sooner too. Glad your hcg was zero so u can get moving.

    Natasha hello again- I see u and I continue to grapple with decisions b/c of our dh's- they r such a pain sometimes. Wishing u find the best solution as well.

    Alli- hey- how r u?? Any news from cari? Dh and I have had a mjor blow up- but seem to be repairing. He now is thinking we should try 1 more time at nccrm doing antagonist cycle- and see what happens even though. Success is probably only 20%. But since wait is long at SEFC- probably no profiles until november- I could cycle and get a bfn before then using my own eggs and frankly what the h#ll right- then I will definately know it is okay to start the de cycle. Let me know what is going on with u? Jen

  10. thanks! How did you decide where to go for the DE psych eval???? Is there not somewhere to go closer than Wilmington? I still have to do that also.......
    I should here back from Cari ths next week. She was going to meet with the donor again and make sure she is \"ready\"........

  11. alli- i don't know why my hubby is more okay with spending around 9-14K on a 20% chance- than 14-21k on a 70%- but he is. I guess b/c he still is not 100% comfortable with de. Maybe in his mind he still thinks i will change my mind about it.

    I talked to F at NCCRM and she said to just send in my updated labs- i don't really know if I will go thru another cycle or not- it just depends. I will only do it if I can have enough money for the de cycle afterwards. But i should start AF around Oct. 15th- i will go ahead and \"prepare\" like i am going to do the cycle. It will be just stims, no BCP. so only 9-10 days etc. We'll see.

    We have our psych eval on monday for DE in wilminton. I am going to keep moving forward with that as well- b/c 80% chance that is what I will be doing reguardless of what hubby wants to have happen.

    Thank god i have a 401 k sitting there that he can say nothing about- i will cash it and use for the DE- i will use my medical expense and some extra cash i have for the oe cycle, and find ways to save money on the drugs.

    if only the men in our lives could make things easier.

    i am excited about your upcoming cycle start!!!!! can't wait to hear all the good news to come.
    Jen

  12. alli- she gave me the name of 2 people in wilmington- i called around raleigh asked Carolina conceptions who they used- i called that Psychologist and it is $800 for the psych eval. Only $300 for the girl i am using in wilmington, and the 2nd person in wilmington was only like $175- but the days didn't work for us. SOOO that is why i am going to wilmington- it is who Cari recommended and you need someone who specifically deals with this stuff, credentials, testing etc.

    I called NCCRM and their person comes to their office- and I am sure it would also be lik $800. I like wilmington so figure go down for a 2 hour meeting, have a nice lunch shopping etc.

    Jen

  13. okay- I AM HAVING A PANIC ATTICK. I honestly went to the psych eval very calm, not worried etc. HOWEVER- my dh must of thought this was a session to drag up all the stress in our life, and proceeded to talk on and on about the issues of having my brother, and grandma live with us, the stress of 2 mortgages, working all the time, I AM AFRAID the psychologist will tell the coordinator that we have too much stress in our lives to do a donor egg cycle. AGGGHHHHHHHHHHH- someone give me a tranquilizer.
    Jen

  14. ahhh! Ok, I would be driving to Wilmington too!

    I had a consult with the guy at NCCRM but it was for my FET(donor embryo), He specifically typed up the repost revolved around that one event. So I am not sure that I can use it... Cari said she would take a look at it.....It was $250 and I am hoping we can either use it or maybe the Dr can fix it to work for DE as well.......You will have a nice day in Wilmington! I love it there!
    I have been crazy busy working as well.... trying to cash in before I actually have to go to transfer....The new Clayton Hospital opens this week.... Very exciting but alot we are not ready for!!!!!

  15. oh gosh! I am so sorry! My eval didnt really ask about other stressors... Just talked about how we felt about \"to tell or not to tell\" and how we each felt about parenting, he also asked a little about our family (growing up)....
    How did the Psychologist respond to his comments?

  16. Alli- she seemed to laugh when she thought dh was \"joking\" and made comment we use humor to del with stress. But don't know she raised her eyebrows a few times. Won't know until we get a copy of the eval. I am worried. Jen

  17. Jen - So sorry to hear about your eval. I wish we could just duct tape them to keep em quiet sometimes. When will you find out the results? I am hoping for the best for you...

  18. Hey jenga,try not to worry too much,maybe itll be ok.Im praying that all will be fine for you and that you`ll get good results.

    Haa,men,you just wanna kill them sometimes!!

  19. Just waiting- too scared to call and check on it.

    Alli- when is your start date??
    Jen

  20. I dont think you have anything to worry about.....Call and ask them for a copy of the eval. I got mine the very next week....

    I dont know when I am starting.... All depends on the donor and her schedule. Cari has an appt with the donor this week, so I am hoping to hear something soon. I am also waiting for AF......

    Hang in there girl and I hope you enjoyed your weekend.... I had to work all weekend........

  21. Talked to psych counselor- all is good- thank goodness. Left meassage with cari too. Just going to float along now.

    Alli- hope u didn't work too hard- but rememberng my old days there busiest place ever. Jen

  22. Sooo glad to hear about the eval results! Im sure thats a load off your mind.
    We just opened this new ED and it is sooooo busy already. Just crazy! I dont think we were expecting it and not ready to see the flood of people pouring in....It's like the new Restuarant in town, everybody has to check it out!

    I havnt heard from Cari yet......

  23. We have no beds in the hospital right now- it is crazy, and the full onset of flu season hasn't even hit yet.

    Well- i got slapped in the face again today- not literally- but one of the anesthesiologist i work with is....... PRegnant again, a couple years older than me, and I could tell she hadn't meant for me to \"hear\" this right in front of her- as she knows my fertility history, but the nurse asked her about it and I had to hear that she was \"11 weeks\", and I literally wanted to drive a stake thru my left eye- do u get this visceral gut wrenching reaction to other people\"s pg\"s????? I hate feeling like this- but all i can think is GREAT_ now i have to listen to her complain for the next 28 weeks, and watch as she gets as big as a house- i just survived that with another co-worker- who got pg the week before i did in january- her surprise, not really wanting to be pregnant self- and then the complaining the whole time, it just doesn't seem fair.

    Sorry---- i know it is not right to not be happy for people- but i simply HATE women who can get pregnant naturally- I HATE THEM.
    Jen

  24. Yeah Jen!!You see,I told you not to worry to much!!

    Good luck!!

    Natasha.

  25. I know what you mean and I feel the same pain....One of my very best friends is pregnant and do next month. This is her second child since I have been TTC, my neighbor just had baby #2 and nurses at work are always pg. Seems like they are all younger than me and on #2,3.......NEVER seems fair.....

    All I can hope is that the next time will be mine and the same for the rest of us.....I feel like that all I can do is \"HOPE\".....What happens when the HOPE runs out???? That's what scares me. I hope to have a baby before that happens.....

    The FLU season this year is scary. We have several pos. Influenza A's everyday and like you say it hasnt really \"HIT\" yet......Gonna be a rough Winter for us.......

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