Nov/Dec 2009 cyclers with multiple cycles done

(68 posts)(8 voices)
  1. Hi Jenga,

    I'm so sorry. I have gone through one cycle of IVF which was a bust. I'm doing a 2nd cycle in November, but like you, I'm not very optimistic. I say that because for one thing I am 41 (almost 42). I am also overweight and feel that time and my weight is against me. I'm doing weight watchers currently, but I don't think that the 20 lbs will be enough to help me much. I do agree with you about the optimism. Most don't understand why I am not optimistic either. I've also seen so many cycles that failed with others. I call it being realistic. After all, there is only a marginal success rate (for me that is only 20%). I hope you don't mind if I hang out here with you?

  2. Hey- I wanted to start a post for those of us who have had multiple cycles- not 1st timers- b/c I just can't handle the \"babydust\" and optimism that comes with the 1st and even 2nd time cycler.

    With that said \"SUCCESS MENTIONED\" if u don't want to post with me.

    I was lucky to get success in the beginning of my ivf journey b/c we started with just severe MFI- but have since had a horrific cycle cx day of trigger with poor response, pregnancy with twins with hearbeats that both died at 9 weeks, found out I have ovarian failure at just turned 34 and told to move onto donor egg, had another cycle at bigger, better clinic, new protocol, and thru in donor sperm WORST cycle ever, BFN- only got 3 mature eggs.

    Now I am moving onto donor egg and hopefully will be matched by october and start cycling in nov/ dec.

    I am excited to move on, but I am also a little bit snarky. I understand the new \"excitement and fear\" of new ivfr's but find I am a little bit to \"real\" or even \"bitter\" yeah that is a good word, bitter about ivf, and infertility. No bad thoughts to anyone who has to go thru ivf, it sucks for all, but just at a different place emotionally b/c of my bad luck.

    Hope someone out there can relate to me and join me over the next few months. I am said over the 40k I have spent just this year for nothing, sad for the loss of my babies, and sad for the loss of having a biological child at such a \"young\" age- I know very relative.

    I am excited and optimistic about DE but also so scared it too won't work and I will have spent another 21k. I will be broke at that point.

    So anyone who wants to join me, have a lot of drinks b/w now and then, come on!!!!!!
    Jen

  3. Praying miracle- u r welcome to join me. I am definately a realist to a fault- I always prepare for the absolute worst, just in case it will make anything look like the sun rising.

    I think loosing weight is a good thing- but honestly would not base success or failure on it- meaning don't stress too much and do the best u can.

    I also am in the 15-20% success rate with my own eggsi hence whi I have decided to move to donor egg- chances increase anywhere from 55-80% to take home baby dependent on clinic and personal hx. I just can't. Keep going with mine- but I will root u on thru this journey- at the least join u at the bar of low calorie alcoholic beverages.
    Jen

  4. Hi, I’ve been on this board since May 09.
    I just received my 1st BFN from my 1st IVF. I was soooo depressed but I'm ready to move on. DH and I are 29 and we had a great cycle.
    A little background of the HELL JOURNEY?

    29 years old
    3 pregs. 2 m/c and 1 ectopic... all naturally within the last 10 years... long time

    DH is 29 also and is PERFECT
    I have block tubes

    I started attempting IVF is May 09- Cancellation due to cyst
    Then BCP for 3 weeks and then again in June... started stims in June 09 and I have 1 HUGH Follicle and 8 very small ones SO once again a cancellation.

    Then July came.... I did a long lupron cycle and then added in Menopur and the Pen and I stimmed really well. 7/23 was my ER, retrieving 30+ eggs, 23 fert. And I had my ET on 7/27 morning.... all was great. 2 Grade A embies and then the 2ww.

    Well ladies all goes down hill....
    3 days after the ET I get OHSS, had to go to the ER then was put on bed rest for 1 1/2 weeks then on Sat. 8/8/09 I received a call from the nurse with a ******* BFN.

    I went to the Dr. and he said that it was just a failed implantation issue. I had a great cycle even though I ended up w/ OHSS. He said that he wants to check me for Asherman's Syndrome and then we have decided to do another Fresh Cycle even though we still have 7 embies frozen (as he feels that fresh is best). I trust him completely so even though I didn’t/don’t wanna be a pin cushion again it will all be worth it for a successful birth. He also explained that he will lower my dosage of meds this cycle as I took too well to them my 1st cycle.

    So I have checked to see if I had Ashermans Syndrome... my surgery was 8/28/09. I go for the post-op on 9/10/09 now… (Was pushed up a day). My uterus was not shaped correctly but from what DH told me the Dr. said that he clean it and shaped it nicely. Hopefully this will do the trick this time around. I should be starting the 2nd cycle between Oct/Nov.

    Well ladies that’s my update.

  5. Hey excited- sorry u are here again, but glad there is a place for you with us. Sorry thinks are sucking for you- hopefully we can all muster some optimism and have some good cycles coming up.

    I am again STRUGGLING with decision making. I was so sure about moving forward with Donor egg- and then all of a sudden- I am not sure- maybe i should just do embryo adoption. I am so stressed thinking about stressing over the donor, taking shots, how many follies, how many retrieved, how many fertilize, how many make it to blast, if it implants, if i get a bfp, if I survive past nine weeks. It feels so much like doing it myself- and i HATE IVF, I HATE the stress.

    The FET- embryo adoption seems so much easier- so much cheaper- even if success rates are lower- just take some estrogen- some lupron- take a trigger- go in and they unthaw 2 already almost PERFECT blasts from donor egg cycles- hand over 5K and 2 weeks you know yes or no. If it doesn't work, just hand over another 5 K and have 2 more embryo's unthawed.

    VERSUS the 20k for 1 donor egg cycle- that MAY yield 2 blasts- and a BFN- fo which I would be devistated and 65K in the whole for the year for fertility treatments. ANY ADVICE??????? I am just feeling ill.

    Not to mention ran into a friend- and she asked me if I was \"interested\" in adoption- I was like yes and no- well she \"knows\" a girl who is 3 weeks out from delivery- 2nd pg- first put up for adoption- and this girl \"FOR SURE\" wants to give her up but has had 2 fall throughs- and is now thinking of letting a family member have baby- but she wanted to check with me in case I was interested and would pass the information on.
    UGGGGG- of course_ i am sure that wouldn't come to pass- but you never know- and it is one more thing to think about.

    Jen

  6. Hey- I am in fayetteville NC- the clinic I went to for donor egg consult is SEFC- southeastern fertility clinic, they have 70-75 % success rate per doc- for 2007 success as 67% and their FET success is at 50%
    Which is awesome.

    I have looked all over the southeastern area and for there wait times and success they. The best option.

    My only other thought would be carolina conceptions in raleigh- I think they have good results but haven't been doing de long enough or cycles enough to report to SART yet- and their de cost is more. I will pm u my phone number.

    After pondering more yest I think I am back to donor egg. I am worried about embryo adoption b/c I know how my hubby is, my grandma and brother have lived with us for awhile, and he is not always very nice, can be very hurtful to them and to me about them. I worry an embryo adopted baby maybe treated different than our own son , even if he says it wouldn't- b/c he doesn't really care if we have another child- so who's to say he won't find this child a burden and I will pay for it forever- I have \"paid\" for my family needing us for along time.

    So I think I probably will do donor egg and hope for the best- I think I can make myself go thru the process psychologically 1 more time.
    Jen

  7. Jen,
    Where r u in NC???? maybe we should get together and chat...Sounds like we have the same thoughts going through our heads.... i go back and forth about it all....I am sooooo tired from all the stress of worry and dont know what to do next!!!!

  8. WE are pretty close... I use to work at BJ in Dunn... Are u a nurse? I am a ER RN in Raleigh......I am a pt of SEFC now.... I have been a pt at NCCRM and at Carolina Conceptions... All BFN... i do not have any children, never have been pg and they cant find anything wrong with me!!! Frustrating! But I have chosen to move on to DE... I am 37 and ready to have a baby! I dont think i could ever do IVF with my own eggs again.... Such a rough ride! Lets try to get together!

  9. Oops- SEFC is in Mt Pleasant SC- right near charleston. Easy to find and they have clinics in wilmington myrtle beach and columcia sc.
    Jen

  10. Alli- funny- we are chatting all over this place.

    Well i had ANOTHER epiphany last night- as I think i may have mentioned to all- we have 2 mortgages- and a ton of debt. Thankfully in healthcare we are capable of making more money each month dependent on how much we work_ however. Sometimes it is bad- and i worry if we continue to have to make 2 mortgage payments , WHEN we may not be able to. SO i thought maybe I should just do the embryo adoption ( FET) which is 5 k and save my 401 k for that possible day when we need the cash to pay the bills instead of doing a 20k donor egg cycle.

    So i told DH NOW i think it is in our financial best interest just to do embryo adoption- and save the other \"potential\" cash for a rainy day. OBviously he wasn't listening- and said he agreed we needed to wait blah blah blah. Well- i said i didn't say \"wait\" i said forget donor egg and just do donor embryo. NOW he says that isn't his first choice- and NO he really doesn't think he wants to do it, so although he has been saying all along he doesn't care, and that he doesn't want to spend the money, so doing embryo adoption would be fine, NOW he wants to wait, or not do anything etc. I COULD STRANGLE HIM- i am killing myself worrying and trying to figure out the best think for us and when I think i have he CHANGES HIS MIND- ugg.

    Anyone else having fun?
    Jen

  11. am i the only person with no life???
    Jen

  12. I know how frustrating it is..... After every BFN DH says ok, Im done now...Im like what???? We havnt gt pg yet!!!!! The amt of money spent is a BIG issue with my DH also. He has a finance degree and I guess spending $50,000 plus was not in his plan! He is having a REAL hard time fitting it in.....The economy, blah, blah, blah!!!!!! I just keep plugging along with my plan and he will have to go with it..... he has always known that there is no other option....I let him vent but I keep doing what i need to do and he knows that....It all sux! Hang in there!

  13. Hi ladies! Mind if I join you? I am currently comimg off a failed IVF attempt that resulted in a chemical pregancy. I am waiting for my BETA to return to negative before I can set up a WTF meeting with my RE, but I am guessing we will be able to try another round of IVF in Nov/ early Dec.

    A little history on me:
    DH is 29, I'm 28
    Severe MF. DH was diagnosed with cancer in March 2008. Required surgery & chemo... We froze sperm prior to chemo but he was so sick at the time that the quality/ quantity was poor. We have done S/A prior to first attempt at IVF, came back as non-measurerable (I think that's the polite way of saying 0).
    First round of IVF didn't go too well, I was a poor responder to the stims (they kept having to up the dosage). We were able to get 14 eggs eventually, 11 were mature but only 4 fertilized. We transfered 2 which looked great at the time but there were problems with implantation. The extra did not freeze.
    This will be our 2nd attempt.

    The m/c is still very fresh and I am hoping the pain will ease before I try again. I am trying to keep a brave face for my DH since he feels this is all his fault. It's not like he chose to get cancer... but since the frozen sperm really didn't work too well for us we are starting to considering using a donor. Has anyone here already struggled with this decision? I am not sure my feelings on it yet....

    I look forward to getting to know everyone!

  14. Alli- yeah- i think my husband is \"waiting me out\" thinking I am going to just decide not to do anything- i think he feels by \"pushign\" the DE cycle which is of highest expense will eventually deter me from doing it at all. But hate to tell him, as he should know- I don't give up- and am going to keep going until i get a take home baby.

    I guess i am just going to not \"rush\" things. I was really pushing Cari to get me profiles as soon as she can- based on my requirements being pretty \"easy\" I say that - but who knows. But now, i think I am perfectly okay with it taking 2 months to get some profiles to look at, that would be November, and then by the time my cycle coincided with a donor it would probably be mid december or january before we could cycle.

    That gives me a couple of months to work my Azz off, and MAYBe someone will buy my house.

    I do worry about- what if i did the DE cycle and got pg with twins again- and had to go on bedrest at 6 months- and was only receiving my small disability check per month, and WHAT IF we hadn't sold our other house. We would probably have to file bankruptcy or forclose on the other home.

    So MAYBE God knew what he was doing when I lost my twin pg in march, maybe, sigghhhhhh, I would have been due September 18th (tomorrow)with them. Seeing where we are financially right now- it would have been bad, but still sucks no matter what.

    Anyway- hope you are having an okay week- DID u ever talk with Cari??
    Jen

  15. Starr- welcome- and sorry you are going thru this. Cancer at 28 just plain sucks- your poor dh- obviously good husband for considering donor sperm already.

    We don't have the same situation but i have been somewhat in your decision making position. My story- found out we had severe MFI when dh was 36 and me 30. I am now 34- and dh is half way to 41. I have never been a GREAT responder-

    IVF #1- 10 mature eggs ( at 30) 8 fertilized- 3 good day 3 transfer- ++pg
    IVF #2- 5 follicles on trigger day- cancelled (long lupron cycle with follistem) IVF#3- antagonist- 6 mature eggs- 5 fertilized- 3 good embryo\"s-++pg TWINS m/c at 9 weeks after heartbeats.

    THEN we found out I have ovarian failure- not too many eggs- and probably not great quality. Switched to a bigger better clinic with high success with my ( our) diagnosis of MFI and POR- had very high hopes of alot of eggs on different protocol.

    IVF#4- microdose lupron flare-only got 6 eggs- ONLY 3 mature.

    I had already decided to have back up donor sperm, b/c i really hoped i would get enough eggs, maybe up to 10 so i could do a split cycle and see how different the embryo\"s looked b/c we were not sure if m/c was due to my egg quality ( although that was #1 suspect).

    So i researched and hunted for months prior to this cycle to find a donor ( used fairfax cryobank- photomatching etc)

    When my embryologist called me and told me only 3 mature eggs- I was very unsure what to do- my RE highly suggested using only donor sperm to determine if it was my egg\"s. UNFORTUNATELY- all 3 fertilized but they were the worst embryo\"s. No implantation- negative cycle- SIggghhhh- chalked it up to my egg quality- and I am done trying. It was a very hard day emotionally although I had PLANNED to do a split cycle and put in the best embryo\"s. I was torn emotionally after the fact- worried if it did work, if my dh would truly be okay with having a baby that wasn't his. We were both very stressed that day emotionally. He was supportive as best he could- but I know it was a blow to his ego that the doc told us to use the donor sperm- we could have possibly had a different result using his sperm- but most likely not. It is a HUGE decision- but in the right scenario a good decision.

    NOW BACK TO YOU_

    What dose of stims where you on to get the number of eggs you got???? max dose or in the middle. Dependign on that the number of eggs you got isn't horrible- like i said my first cycle- only had 8 mature and had success.

    My advice would be to try what I had planned to do my last cycle. Find a VERY good donor sperm match to your hubby. Maybe tweak your protocol a little- not a long lupron if that is what he did on you ( weeks of bcp, then weeks of lupron, then stims) you maybe a little suppressed- but again not actually a bad result for your first cycle. SAY- you get 11 mature eggs again- fertilize half with dh sperm and half with donor sperm USING ICSI FOR ALL- then see how your fert rate is and how your embryo's look.

    U could always put in the BEST of Dh's embryo's and freeze the donor sperm embryo\"s as your back up plan, or put in the best of both on transfer day. YOU may even get a blast with the donor sperm embryo to freeze- again another back up plan.

    The fact that you got 11 mature eggs and only 4 fertilized HIGHLY suggests that the sperm have issues- but doesn't mean that 1 can't become a baby.

    This is a hard place. I just found that having plans and trying to figure out what is going to work to get a baby helped alot- we all know we want our own biological child from dh and self. But it just doesn\"t always work out.

    if your Dh is supportive and okay trying some donor sperm I would try at least a few.

    I am moving onto donor egg at 34- will plan to use dh's sperm/ but i will have back up donor sperm just in case on that day my dh sperm is worse/ or none etc.

    i hope that helped.

    Just be ready for your RE appt- lay it on the table what you want to do- by the way where r u cycling and how are there SART results???
    Jen

  16. hey ladies,

    Went to the Dr. on Monday and he said that I healed very well after the surgery... I plan to do BCP with my Oct. AF; which will be extended so AF wont come in NOV. then should be started stims about 2nd week in Nov.

    Hopefully I have better luch with my 2nd IVF cycle

  17. Excited- I am glad that your body is healing well. I know u r relieved.
    I will skip bcp this month- doesn't make sense to start them b/c who knows when I'll get matched- will try \"again\" naturally this month
    Such a laughing matter for us.

    What kind of protocol does he plan to do with u, same as before or different?
    Jen

  18. Hi Jen, thanks for the feedback! I am cycling at CNY Fertility Center in Latham NY, (close to the capital). I'm not sure what their SART is but they are the only center in my area the my insurance will cover. That being said, I love my RE in the Latham office, however, he was on vacation the week I was scheduled for my retreival/transfer for the last cycle so I ended up going to their Syracuse office and I was kinda creeped out by the RE there. He just gave me a bad vibe, wouldn't give straight answers.... I would never go back there. I need to have straight answers, even if its bad news I want to know what's going on so I can plan and cope. Ignorance is not bliss!

    Last time they tried to have me cycle with out bcp first... I kept going in for blood work to see when I had ovulated and they kept saying the levels weren't there yet... I probably went in three times, eventually I got my period but never ovulated. Then they put me on the pill. I addded Lupron and I was on that for over 2 weeks, no AF. Finally my clinic just started the Follistim even though I hadn't gotten AF. I started at 225, first b/w u/s they bumped it to 300, next one they bumped it to 375. I stimmed for 15 days...

    I think the worst part for me was that I had no clue what was going on or what I was doing. I kept thinking I was doing the meds wrong or doing something that was putting the cycle in jeopardy. I think this time I will be a lot calmer, we had the trial run... the RE should know what works for me and what doesn't and I know what to expect from the drugs....

    I'm thinking, as for the sperm issue, that I want DH to have another S/A just to see if there are any swimmers. If there are then I want to use those first with the frozen as back up. I am trying not to get my hopes up about the S/A but its been over a year now since he finished chemo and they say that if the count is ever going to return, it would have started by now. If the count is still zero we'll probably go half donor, half froze. What type of information do they provide to help you select your donor?

    As for your story, I admire your perserverance and how strong you are! I was questioning myself after one failed cycle... And what you said about trying naturally, I totally understand. All I can do is laugh when people around me say it will happen when you least expect it... Apparently they just don't understand what infertilty means, zero is zero...

    Sorry if I'm rambling, sometimes it just helps to put things down into words.

  19. Hi Excited! Nice to \"see\" a familair face, sorry that its because we are both trying agin. I am glad to hear your surgery and healing went well!

  20. Hey can I jump in here too?

    I am 30, DH is 33. I have mild-PCOS, sort-of. (Long, hard to explain.) DH has MFI. Depending on the sample, it ranges from bad to d@mn near sterile. We began TTC our first child in 2005. We did all the usual things you do along the path to IVF over the next 3 years. And in May 2009 we did our first IVF. It ended in a chemical.

    Last month we changed clinics so that we could do CGH with did IVF #2. We had 2 good and 2 poor quality blasts biopsied and vitrified. We'll find out how many are genetically normal some time next month.

    We are planning to do another stim/retrieval ASAP. We will do CGH and freeze all for this cycle as well. I have long-ish cycles so my next AF (which will be the first one since our cycle last month) will probably be mid-late Oct. Then I'll begin BCP for IVF #3.

    CCRM seems to think that we will only get one normal embryo out of last month's cycle. I was really hoping for more but to be honest, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if they are right. And if we get more than one normal, then maybe we can bank one or two from our upcoming cycle for a possible future sib. As if. But hey, a gal can dream, right?

  21. Starr- CNY numbers for your age group aren't bad, take home baby rate of almost 40% for all types of cases, but if you just base it on male factor then take home baby rate is around 46%, what is dismal are there FET rates. Only about a 13-15% chance of success, the national average is 33%. So don't bet success on doing an FEt there. I had heard yucky about the RE in Syracuse as well- very secretive- which doesn't make sense when your paying.

    I looked at them for donor egg b/c their cycles are inexpensive- although success is lower than that of other clinics. SO i am going south instead for more money but higher success rates.

    Awesome that your insurance pays, that is great!! right now I would stick with the RE your comfortable with- i agree get another sa- if you can on the day.

    We are lucky to have a son from the first ivf cycle when DH's swimmers weren't as bad. SO i based my donor selection on my son. I looked for someone with the same blood type as my husband, but i went for looks like my son, blue eyed, fair, athletic, i picked my top ones and paid to see their baby pictures. I then sent a phot of my son and my brother ( who my son looks like) to them and they photo matched my son to the adult pictures, and they felt my number one pick was also theirs. IT was a long process, but they were very helpful. I LOVE fairfax cryobank site and cryogenics lab- they are easy to search thru. At fairfax and Cryogenics the staff give an impression of the dono and that helped me alot. I was also able to talk on the phone with the ladies who do the matching/genetics and that was helpful.

    My plan is to order the same sperm from the same donor- he is handsome goodlookin per Fairfax, and his baby picture looks like my son. He is taller than me dh- but praying i get a very short donor egg, and it won't matter.

    I used blood type eye color, and height as my mature requirements, b/c I want my child born with a compatable blood type and that he or she could possible be related to us or any family member by looks. We plan to disclose- so having the right blood type might not matter- but i think it is better to be safe.

    You have to decide what is important. Starr- it is a tough one- but you won't hate yourself if it is available- but you would if you had the cycle done and had nothing to fert with- that would be bad.

    I know- the stories of \"miracles' just make me want to slap someone- HELLO- if it was giong to happen that way i would have 20 kids by now for all the years of being sexually active.
    Jen

  22. Jen - Thanks for the information about selecting a donor. It kinda put my mind at ease knowing that you can review baby pics and blood type, etc... At this point I don't think I would want anyone to know that the child wouldn't be geneticly my DH's... He has been so good and supportive up to this point but I think it would wound his ego beyond repair if every one knew. At times I wish it were my eggs that were the issue and not his sperm. I would rather carry the guilt and blame then to have to let him do it on his own...

    Hi kakioula and welcome! I am just coming off a chemical myself... Really a horrible situation, I almost wish the IVF hadn't worked at all then to know I was pregnant for such a short time and lost it... I am not familar with CGH, what does this stand for?

  23. So I went onto Fairfax Cryobank's site the other night and spent hours going through donors. It was kinda cool that you can shop for sperm... On paper, I found someone that sounded like an exact match to my DH (minus the cancer history and seasonal allergies).

    Jen - Did you send them a picture of your DH or DS to photo match? I was just curious how long it would take... And was there an extra fee? I just want to make sure to have all of my ducks in a row so that I can do the next cycle as quickly as possible... I don't want to have to wait an extra month because we are looking to get the perfect back up sperm....

    On a good note, my phone has been soooo quiet this past week! I guess telling people that the IVF ended with a m/c, no one quite knows what to say... So they say nothing... I have gotten so much done already this weekend! All the things I couldn't do before because I couldn't lift it or was just too tired. The caffeine might have something to do with my new energy too....=)

    I hope everyone is doing well!

    Marsaine

  24. Starr- I know getting a chemical sucks- but it shows u can become pg, so hopefully it was just an embryo issue.i I don't know th abbreviation cgh but I understand it to be testing the embryo and making sure it is normal- I am sure much more high tech. But only 1-2 clinics in the US do it, CCRM being one.

    Yoda- welcome- hoping u get at least 1 to 2 normal embryo's and a successful pg too. Glad your at a top clinic, best chance for sure.
    Jen

  25. Jen, Thank you so much for all the info you've been sharing with me!!! It has really been helping to put my mind at ease... The unknown just stresses me out, especially when I feel I have no control over anything with this fertilty nonsense!

    Have you had any luck with your donor selection? Is this the first time you will be trying donor egg and sperm? I hope everything is moving along well for you!

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