New here: anybody move to donor eggs age 36, normal FSH? (child ment)

(12 posts)(8 voices)
  1. I'm debating my options. We conceived our son on IVF #2, after 3 biochemical pregnancies with IUI (but 2.5 years of TTC).

    I've now completed three IVF cycles in one year (and two cancellations) at an attempt for a second, and am tonight being cancelled before IVF #4 due to a cyst. I changed clinics and am having a better response, but I still only produce 5-6 embryos per cycle, with 2-3 being 8 cells, minimal frag.

    I entered this process thinking I had a very good shot at a second child, and now one year later just don't know what to do. If I were over 40, or had elevated FSH or low AMH with these failures, the answer would be easier.

    I just want a baby and have no worries about embracing donor egg. I just don't want to regret giving up.

    Can I hear from any younger women doing donor eggs?, especially perhaps if you have a biogenetic child? How did you come to your decision?

  2. hi Action, i'm sorry to hear about your cycle being cxled today. i know this journey is such a rollercoaster and like you this year has been a long one for us and we'll be happy to have it behind, from an IF perspective.

    i'm 37, high responder, low fsh. we started out doing ivf this year when we realized we've severe MF. as it turned out, my eggs are strikingly abnormal so three cycles later and never having made it to ET are chances of success aren't even 10%.

    we decided to move forward with DE. someone wrote on here, and it really stuck w me, you can't move on to DE until you can focus on what you'll get out of it, not what you're giving up. for us we want to be parents, we want to have our lives back, we don't want to be the oldest parents at the PTA meetings and i dont want to get sick doing ivf cycles that don't work. so we're thrilled to have DE as an option and we don't really feel like we're giving up anything as we don't think we have a shot w my eggs. you will know when you're ready, you just wake up one day and it's time.

    we love our RE and clinic, so we picked an agency donor and she'll come to nyc and cycle with us in november.

    GL w your decision, there's a wealth of great info on these boards and also on this website network54.com/Forum/57451/

    feel free to PM me if you need anything

  3. While I do not have a bio child of my own, I did make the decision to go to DE after 4 years of IVF and surgery for endo, etc. I did 5 fresh cycles (RMA and Cornell) and one frozen, all BFN, despite having some decent looking embryos at Cornell with co-culture. I was told by Cornell that they could not figure out why I was not getting pregnant and I even did some immune testing. I was not willing, however, to do IVIG or any of those treatments, and my RE's did not believe in them anyway. I gave up for a year and then got the itch again...I just could not move on with my life without children, and I wanted to experience a pregnancy. My husband has two daughters from his first marriage and as much as he wanted a child with me, he did not want to see me go through yet another disappointment. Ultimately, I went to IVFNJ for another consultation and was told by my RE that he would not cycle me with my own eggs; he would only do DE. He felt that my egg quality was diminished (33 at the time) but if I wanted to try my own eggs, he recommend I go back to Cornell and do co-culture, as that was the best results I had had. He gave me a brochure on DE (as I cried) and said to take a look at it when I felt up to it. I appreciated his compassion and the fact that he was so candid. A few months later, we decided to try DE. It worked on the first cycle and I now have two beautiful 3 month old boys! I loved every minute of my pregnancy and that was enough for me to bond with them. In all honesty, I would not trade them for the world, even if I could use my own eggs..then I would not have these little guys!! I don't think the DNA link matters at all to me because I truly could not imagine loving them any more than I do. Aside from that, my blood coursed through their little bodies and they grew within me- that's enough for me. If you have any questions around DE, please don't hesitate to ask! Good luck to you!!!

  4. Wow, these stories seem so similar to mine! I sometimes feel like an odd man out being 33 and doing DE but after hearing these stories, I can see I'm not the only one! We've been TTC for 5 years.....4 failed IVF cycles w/my own eggs, 3 chemical pgs on natural cycles and 1 chemical pg from a DE cycle. I live in the tri-state area so we had been going to some of the top notch clinics. I am a high responder to meds but have poor quality embryos. I've stumped a lot of REs

    I agree with the other poster who said that you have to realize what you're gaining and not what you're giving up. When I started to look at it that way, my whole perspective changed and that's when I was able to move forward with DE. We're gearing up for another cycle now and I hope this time we find success! Please feel free to ask me any questions or PM me!

  5. Hi there,

    I was told at 30 after 2 ivf's with my OE that DE was really my only choice, much to my huge surprise!

    So, we jumped right in knowing it was the only option and have been successful with DE and couldn't be happier.

    It is really hard to hear at any age but especially when you are so young and have just started TTC #1-it's a huge shock! But, DE worked when cycling with my OE didn't so I don't regret anything. Every path to parenthood is different and this is ours.

    Good luck!

  6. Thank you so much to all of you for sharing your stories.

    luciabogoni--I'm so sorry for the sucker punch of a male factor diagnosis and then your IVF cycle outcomes. Good luck with your DE cycle.

    CINTHIA--good luck!

    mariofreitas and Olgag78--so glad that you have babies in your arms.

    I see that it is not unusual to move on to DE after x failures even with young age, good numbers, etc. I think since yesterday morning when I saw that huge happy follicle on the ultrasound, I've started to understand that if someone were to tell me there was probably another biogenetic child for us, but that it would take 12+ months, a few more retrievals, 50k + dollars and more ups/downs/cancellations and/or uncertainty, I would probably say "Thanks, but no thanks".

  7. pg/termination/mc'/current preg mentioned

    I moved on to donor eggs about that time.

    My hx was natural preg m/c at about 6 weeks in early 20's, and then a molar pregnancy in my late 20's. My molar became cancerous , and aftr treatment I was told to put TTC on hold for awhile.

    Tried several years with baby-making sex, DH and I were both active duty military so the timing was tough. We then were sent to Japan. Did a total of 12 cycles (fresh and frozen) while there. Great FSH, nice haul of eggs at ER, great fert rate, lots to transfer and freeze...However, we had a couple of early m/c's, a couple of chemicals, and finally - a pregnancy that we ended up terminating in the 2nd trimester due to severe birth defects. PGD, and chromo analysis of the m/c's wasn't availe to us over there, but I had strongly began to suspect something was up with my eggs.

    When we moved back to the states, I decided to go the donor egg route. Truthfully, after the termiantion I think it was the only way DH would agree to more IVF. RE agreed that donor eggs offered my best shot.

    Results so far have beenwith the DE

    1st transfer - BFN
    2nd Transfer - BFP but almost died after corneal ectopic rupture
    3rd transfer - BFP, betas seem to be doubling nicely but I don't go for my first u/s til next week.

    We did do a stimm cycle this last transfer to try and improve my lining. I did "everything" except ER and at one point the nurse remarked that I had a nice bunch of follies growing.

  8. Action,
    The great news for you, is that you are so young you could do DE and then find yourself pg after naturally.

    Trust me I wish I had followed my own advice. I had my first at 38 from my first IVF cycle. Have always had a low FSH at 5-6. I kept thinking I would be able to have a second one even with my age. 7 cycles later, and 4 m/c, I am now 42 with a 4 year old, wishing I she had a sibling closer in age. She will be 5 if I do DE at this point and can't decide if I should just be happy with what I've got. I'm worried I'm too old to go back into diapers at this point, but am soo against her being an only child.
    agostino

  9. BabyBlue--good luck on u/s!

    agostino--I do sometimes think that I could do donor egg now, get a baby and then just blissfully not use birth control until I go into menopause. We have singificant male morph issues, but I did conceive biochems with IUI. We too contemplate just calling it quits and spending our money elsewhere. But, we just can't leave DS without a sibling, and I loved pregnancy so much. So, we're stuck. Good luck with your decision.

    I am still emotional over this decision, including whether to try some IUIs (maybe the high stims of IVF cause aneuploidy, etc.). This latest delay of 6-8 weeks just has me pulling my hair out. I just want it all to end, but it seems too reasonable to cycle with my eggs one last time. I weaned my son at 6 months in order to conceive another child, and so moving on to DE means that was all for naught...and something else to cry more about.

    Thank you for sharing.

  10. Action,
    I am so there with you. I have had 8 cycles trying for a sib. I have had 7 pg's with 6 m/c's. We found out when I was 37 that I had what's called a balanced translocation which causes no health problems other than high risk of m/c.

    WE have done IVF/PGD, and really believed God would send us another one. I've always had great response but just a high level of abnormals due to my chromosone issue.

    I feel the same way you do about a sibling for my daughter. Struggle between just moving on with my life and enjoying the gift of my daughter or moving to DE and giving her a gift of a brother or sister.

    I'm supposed to start BCP today and haven't gone to the pharmacy yet to pick up the pills. Just can't move.
    agostino

  11. Really, really sorry to hear about your BT. IVF/PGD is "supposed" to fix all that so it is doubly cruel to hear about your losses.

    I so understand about the OCPs and not getting up enough interest to go pick them up.

  12. I am 33 and also moving on to DE. I have done 3 ivfs with OE and 3 bfns. I have had one mc on a natural cycle, and my RE felt that it was due to poor egg quality. Even at a young age with a normal FSH, I never got great eggs. My cycles would produce lots of follicles, lots would be empty, but I'd always have around 8-11 eggs. I never had anything to freeze. We would usually have 3 to tx. Soooo, here we are, ready to do our DE cycle. My donor starts stims Oct. 23. I'm excited and nervous!!!

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