IVF Veteran with no kids

(643 posts)(12 voices)
  1. Hi,
    I thought I would try starting a thread for IVFers with no children. DH and I have been TTC for 5 years and will be doing our7th IVF in July. This one will be a FET. We have done 3 fresh and 3 frozens so far. I would love to talk to anyone that could relate to my situation.

  2. Hi Angel!

    I can relate to you and I'll be doing a July fresh cycle. It'll be my 7th transfer. I've done 3 fresh and 3 Fet and had 1 cancelled fet. I haven't had a transfer in a year b/c I took IM shots to boost my lining in Dec (FET that was cancelled) and it has taken 6 months for the estrogen to clear my system.

    I've had 1 m/c, 2 chemicals and 3 bfn.
    I\'m 32 and DH is 36.
    I don't ovulate on my own, have thin lining issues and DH has low counts.

    I'll be starting lupron on 6/30 and stims on 7/10.

    What is your story and schedule?

    looking forward to talking with you.


    oh and we have no children

  3. Hi ladies!

    My hubby and I have been ttc since early 2004 and we are both 33 yrs old. The most frustrating part is we have unexplained - normal sperm counts, normal hsg, and i'm definitely ov ulating.

    I did my first fresh cycle last may/june, had 19 eggs, 11 fertilized, resulting in 7 grade 1 (the best!) blastocytes. I got a little overstimulated. We transferred one and we got a bfn. Then we froze 6 and did a fet in october. We decided we were going to transfer 2. Unfortunately, they had to unfreeze all of them to get 2. Then we got a bfn.

    I'm currently on my 2nd fresh cycle and will probably go to retrieval next Tues-Thurs. They lowered my meds so hopefully I won't get overstimulated again. I had about 25 eggs yesterday per my US but not all of them are the right size. I'm praying 3rd time is a charm. We are definitely transferring 2 this time again.

    ALL of our married friends have kids and it sucks! I'm glad to see you started this board! It can be so depressing sometimes to be kidless at 33!

  4. Hi Buck-

    Good luck with your cycle! I'm sure being unexplained is SO frustrating! However I was told I was an \"easy\" case that could be helped with either timed intercourse or an IUI. Yea right. That was in Jan of 2006 and here I am. Our married friends all have children too. My husband is 36 so almost all of his college friends have 2-3 kids. It is so so hard.

  5. Hi Angel, Lora and Buck -
    My DH (30) and I (31) completely feel your pain. All of ours friends are either pregnant or have kids - and all they talk about are babies.

    We've been ttc for 2.5 years and it's been a frustrating road!

    We just finished our first round of IVF - had 17 eggs fertilized and got three good embies, our embryologist is really strict on freezing so he convinced us to put back all three. Unfortunately none took.

    Good news is that we meet with our Dr on wednesday next week to find out when we can start the process again. It's frustrating that we didn't get more eggs to fertilize so we could just do FET, but happy to do it all again if it results in some positive news!

    It's nice to meet y\'all!


  6. Oh my God, I'm so happy to get all of these responses. I was afraid that I would offend people by putting the \"no kids\" thing but I guess there are more people like me on these boards then I thought. Thanks so much to all of you for posting.
    Here\'s our situation. I'm 33 and DH is 35. We have male factor and unexplained for me so that's why we thought with IVF we would have no problem conceiving. We have done 3 fresh and 3 frozen with the results of one chemical and the rest bfn. I respond pretty well to the meds and usually have about 20 follies retrieved. This last time I had 13 fertilize and we transferred 3 7 cell and froze the rest. I am on the BCP right now and hope to do a FET late July.
    We have been TTC since my DH graduated from college in 2003. We thought we were being \"smart\" by waiting to have children until after he graduated because I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom but knew there was no way I could do it while he was in school. Now I kick myself in the butt and wonder if we would have had success if we would of tried when we were younger. But who knows that's the thing. The other thing is if we weren't able to conceive when we were younger and when my DH was going through school there is no way that we could of afforded the fertility treatments and that would of been very frustrating.
    I hear what all of you are saying with friends and their kids. It's so hard. One of my friends who has adopted a beautiful baby girl wants to get together with us and another couple that has a little boy, we were all friends in high school. It's so hard and I just don't think she understands how hard it is on me. So I have been avoiding calling her because if I could just get pg then it wouldn't be too bad being around them and their beautiful children. I hate living my life this way, because I always think like that, \" I will wait to do that until I'm pg because then it won't bother me\"
    Right now there is a coworker who is pg and it's so difficult being around her growing tummy. I am so jeolous. That's something I can't do anything about unless I quit my job. I don't wish infertility on anyone, don't get me wrong, I just don't want their excellent fertility shoved in my face.

    Lora, we seem like we might be around the same time for a transfer if you are starting your stims mid July. That sucks about you having to wait so long between cycles because of your estrogen levels and I'm complaining because I had to wait a month between this last fresh and my next frozen.

    Buckeye, your getting close to your ER oh that's so exciting. What are your estrogen levels like? I'm just curious because this last fresh that I went through mine were a little low and of course when you get a BFN you overanalyse everything.

    Michelle, I hope your meeting with your RE goes well and he gives you a positive outlook on your next cycle. I know what you mean about being frustrated that you didn't have any embies to freeze. My first cycle was that way. We retrieved a lot of follies (25 I think) and out of those only 3 fertilized and we did like you did and transferred all with no success.

    I really look forward to chatting with you girls and hopefully very soon we will be talking about our BFPs!!!!!

    Warm regards, Angel

  7. Hello is anyone out there? I could really use someone to talk to that can relate, please...

  8. Angel-

    Even tho I am not currently cycling and don't plan on it til October or so..I will listen to ya! I know how stressful all this must be on you.

    I am 37 years old and don't have kids yet. I have completed 7 IVF cycles and 2 FETs and even tho I got pregnant on some of them..I miscarried. So I have 8 embryos frozen from my last fresh cycle in October 2007 and plan on going thru an FET October 2008. One year from the BFN! I have been taking a much needed break and focusing on my body. I have lost 20lbs and excercise regularly now. I feel so much better mentally and physically.

    So what stage are you in right now? Stimulation, transfer?? Give me some details. I will be here for ya!


  9. Thank you Becky,

    Wow you have been through the ringer too. Congrats on your weight loss that's awesome. It sounds like you are getting your body as well as your mind (which I almost think is more important) ready for a successful FET in October.

    Right now I am on a month of BCP inbetween my last fresh and my next FET. My last fresh which was my 6th attempt (fresh and frozen transfers combined) resulted in 13 good embies. We transferred 3 7cell but resulted in BFN. So we do have 10 embies on ice which is nice. We recently started with a new RE who offers a shared risk program so we do 3 fresh and 3 FET and if no success (god I hope that is not the outcome) then we get 70% of the fee back. So we already did one of the fresh and move on to the first frozen. I have about week and half left of the BCP and then once AF arrives I call the office and go in for BW and Ultrasound. IF everything looks good then we start the FET cycle. So I am hoping to transfer at the end of July. I really didn't even want to wait with one month inbetween cycles but I guess they just can't jump from cycle to cycle, it must be too hard on your body. But I don't like being on the BCP either, kind of self defeating plus it makes me spot the whole time I am on it (arghhhhh). Thanks so much for listening. I look forward to chatting with you.

    Michelle, Lora, and Buckeye if your still out there and want to chat I am still hear to listen. Sorry I am kind of obsessed with these sites because I don't talk to anyone at work about it because they can't relate.

    Buckeye if you had your ER I hope everything went well, I would love to hear an update when you are able....
    Warm Regards,

  10. Angel -
    I am definitely here - so please feel free to vent or chat away. I am totally obsessed with these boards too!!

    Sorry I was out of pocket for a few days, I just got back from a trip to Dallas. I travel a lot for my job, but fortunately I travel with my laptop so I am \"connected\" at all times!

    I am keeping my fingers, toes, eyes, arms and legs all crossed for you that this time is a BFP! When do you expect AF?

    Well, a bit of an update on us - we had our appointment today with RE. It was our follow up to the BFN for our first attempt. Basically they summarized everything that occurred. We learned today though that the sperm from my DH's biopsy was all immotile. Not a huge issue, but not great either. What they said was most concerning was that 14 out of the 17 mature follies they retrieved did not fertilize at all with his sperm.

    So, we are now going to see our 3rd urologist, who is supposedly an expert in severe MF infertility. Our RE mentioned some other options for sperm retrieval that may produce better results than the traditional TESE.

    We go to see the new Urologist on the 10th of July! So it looks like it will still be a little while before I start my next cycle - but hopefully soon!!

    Keeping fertile thoughts!

  11. Michelle,
    You sound optimistic about your upcoming visit with the urologist, that's good. What's TESE? Does your DH have a low count along with the immotility? My DH has a low count and average motility. He saw one urologist and we tried clomid for him for about 3 months because there are some studies that that can help with a low count, it did a help a little with the low count but also made the motitility and morphology below average, so it wasn't really worth it. My DH's parents also had trouble conceiving him and sis because of father's low count. My mother-in-law said that he took a pill and they were able to become pg. O'well I don't know what that magic pill was and she doesn't remember because it was 35+ years ago.

    I\'m expecting AF in about another week and half. I have a week left of active BCP and then I usually start 3 days after my last active. So it's coming up. The RE is supposed to call me today for a phone consultation and basically an end of cycle appointment (from my last failed IVF). It's kind of nice for them to do it this way since the RE's office is over an hour away. So I am patiently waiting for him to call. He supposed to call around 10:00 (which is now) but you know how Dr.s are. I have to leave in about an hour and half because of an appointment so I am really hoping that he calls before that. I don't want him to call me on my cell phone because I really don't want to be talking about my uterus in public so I guess if I miss him then I miss him.


  12. Angel- I'm here too! So sorry to have missed some of your posts. I just started lupron today. I start stims on 7/10 so you'll probably start estrace right around then, right?

    How did your call go with your doctor?

    Michelle - good luck wiht new urologist!

    Becky- congrats on your weight loss! How did you do it?

    Buck- good luck with your cycle!


    ps. Angel I'm OBSESSED with these boards too!

  13. Lora,
    Hi, good to hear from ya. I take my last BCP tomorrow so am thinking AF will start Sunday or Monday and then I start the Estrace. So we should be really close. My phone consult with the RE went pretty much as I thought it would. \"I'm sorry it didn't work\", \"I don't know why it didn't work, everything looked perfect\", \"I think you should keep trying\", etc... He did say he would be completely honest if he thought there was some reason that it wouldn't work and that we shouldn't try anymore. But he said that honestly he does think it will eventually work for us. He used a pretty good analogy for me, he said it's a lot like playing Yahtzee, some people can roll 5 sixes right away others it takes quite a few trys. I play Yahtzee a lot so that related to me well.
    I wish Buckeye would post, I am really wanting to know how her ER went and it makes me worry that it didn't go well because she hasn't posted.
    Well take care and have a good 4th everyone.

  14. Hi Angel,

    Hope you had a good Fourth. Are you on estrace now? I'm finally off estrace. I hate that hormone! I did a 25 day regiment of estrace (with provera added in the last 12 days) instead of the bcp.

    I'm sorry your RE didn't have more answers but that's good that he was positive about it working eventually!

    I'm scheduled to start stims on Thursday as long as my b/w and u/s looks ok on Thurs morning.


  15. Hi, everyone

    I was looking through all of the boards and I ran across this one.

    I just finished up my second cycle that ended the same way as my first, BFN.

    I am 34 and DH is 35. We have been ttc for about 2.5 yrs. I have a blocked fallopian tube and have scarring issues from surgeries performed when I was a child. The first cycle, they retrieved 20 eggs, 8 of them fertilized and only 2 of them were good enough to transfer. We had none to freeze. The second cycle, they retrieved 32 eggs, 15 of them fertilized. My doctor transferred 3 and we have 2 frozen.

    Today, we go in for a consult with the doctor to find out if he knows what happened with this cycle. Before our last cycle, the doctor mentioned possibly clamping off my tubes if the 2nd cycle didn't work. He thinks fluid may be washing back into my uterus and carrying the embryos away.

    Michelle-Good luck with the urologist appt.

    Angel-Good luck with your upcoming cycle!

    Lora-Good luck with your cycle!

    p.s.- I have a sister-in-law who is pregnant with her 3rd child in the last 3 years. This time when she got pregant, she sent an e-mail out telling everyone that this was a \"surprise\". That is a load of ****. She has 2 boys and all she has talked about is having a girl. She has 2 precious little boys and she is not happy. I try to avoid her as much as possible. Thank goodness they don't come around to my mom's house often when I am there.

    I am sorry for unloading on everyone! I just really felt like venting. Thanks for listening.


  16. Hi Wendy- I'm sorry about your failed cycles. What did your RE say today?
    That must be so tough dealing with your SIL. It's amazing how many people have no idea how special it is to have their children.

  17. Hi everyone, I think I may have \"chatted\" with some of you on the other boards. We are ttc#1 for the majority of our 15 year marriage. I think I'm a little behind you in my cycle, I expect to start lupron probably friday or saturday.

    karemaker, thanks for starting this thread, you wouldn't offend anyone. Weather or not anyone on these boards already has kids they remember what it was like before they were in the mommy club.

  18. Hi, Lora

    My RE told us he wants to do a beta integrin test on the endometrial lining to make sure there is not something wrong there keeping the embryos from implanting properly.

    I have to wait 2 menstrual cycles before he will do the test. He wants to make sure all of the medicine is out of my system.

    My mom told me yesterday that my SIL asked her if I will be having my baby the same time she is due. She said she didn't want me to steal the spotlight. Can you believe the nerve???????????

    I hate all of this waiting...........................


  19. Smoot- OMG is all I can say about your SIL! I have a friend who just had that test done. It came back abnormal so her doctor is having her switch to vag. prog instead of PIO. They're doing a mock cycle with the vag prog to make sure it works. I asked my RE about that test and he said the only solution is adding vag prog (which my friend's case validated) so instead of doing the test he's just having me do PIO + vag prog. There are few schools of thought on this I believe.

    Hi Casey and welcome! I'm sorry you've been this TTC game for so long. It's only been 3 years for us and feels like forever. Good luck with lupron. I'm on it now and besides a few headaches I'm doing ok.

    My suppression check is tomorrow. If all looks ok, I start stims tomorrow night. I can hardly believe it. I've been on a forced break for about a year and haven't done a fresh cycle since April '07 and my last FET was in July '07.

  20. Hi All,
    It\'s good to see some newcomers on this board, welcome.

    Lora, AF arrived on Sunday and I started my Estrace then and went to REs Monday A.M. for an ultrasound everything looked fine so I continue Estrace until next Thurs for ultrasound to check the lining. I love FETs they are so much easier and less stressful then fresh. I'm hoping that is just what it will take to relax me and get a BFP. I hope your BW goes good this morning, if you do start your stims today we are going to cycle really close together, that will be nice.

    Hi Wendy, I can't believe your SIL, you vent all you want. I have found it best in my journey with infertility to avoid people like that as much as possible. They just don't get how painful it is. If infertility has taught me anything it has definitely taught me to be more sensitive to others. My RE has never mentioned a beta integrin test before, I might have to do some checking on that because after 6 failed cycles where everything looks perfect you would think it is something with the lining causing them to fail.

    turkan, Wow, you have been through a long journey with infertility, I'm sorry. Is this your first IVF? Give me your scoop if you don't mind...

    take care all, Angel

  21. Hi Everyone,
    Angel it looks like everything is going along smothly for you, I hope that you are able to kick back and not be too stressed about it. It sounds like you are in a good place.

    Did you start stims today Lora? what are you using?

    Wendy sorry you have to wait, and sorry for the insensitivity, it makes it so much harder when it comes from your family.

    This will be my 4th IVF but we took the last 4 years off so it is really feeling like my first! I switched RE's at the same clinic and everything is different this time around. I got BFP from #'s 2 & 3 and a bfp from 1 FET but all ended in MC. The last one was the hardest, after I saw the hb I thought we were in the clear and at 9 weeks I lost it. So after our well needed break we are back on it. Started Lupron today waiting for AF, I hope she shows up soon!!

  22. I'm so sorry about your losses. They can be so devetating. I also had a loss at just about 9 weeks ater seeing 2 h/b's (identical twins) and was so heart broken aftewards. I hope this cycle brings you success!

    As for me, no stims! Aaargh! e2 came back at 84 so I'm not suppressed enough! I've never had this happen before but I've also never not been on the bcp prior to lupron so maybe that's part of the issue. Regardless, my RE wants me to double up on lupron (lucky me) and come back next Thurs. I'm so upset. I'm afraid of being over suppressed and afraid that this is a bad sign. There was no cyst present on the u/s so that wasn't the issue. If anyone else has had this happen please let me know!!!!

  23. I am going to go for IVF. I have no children. I just tried IUI and was not successful. I think my husband and I have tried everything so this is the next step. Good Luck to you.

  24. Lora, I am so very sorry for your loss, I can't imagine the devastation with twins.
    I have always done BCP prior to Lupron and never had that problem. You poor woman having to double up on Lupron for a week, what does that put you to, 20 units per day? Don't freak out yet that there are bad signs, they are trying to get you on the right track, positive thoughts!

    since I had everything ready to go my RE said I could come off BCP early and start lupron this week. it's actually a week before AF was supposed to come, but now it could be any day. I have cramps like you wouldn't believe. I think its strange since I was on BCP for 2 weeks. I hope that she comes this weekend so I can start stims next week.

    welcome Shelly, good luck to you.

  25. Hi ladies.... i just found this board and thought i would jump in. I am 30 and dh is 33 we are about to start our 3rd fresh cycle. we are going to be usin ds because we have mf issues. we have been ttc for 7 years with no success. i am really struggling going through this next cycle. it is just so exhausting. i am going to try and get re to be more agressve... i would like 3 5 day blasts put back but i know they will only do 2. i hope the embies make it to day 5. in the past two cycles we had 5 and 9 embies and transfered 2 both times. i have 9 frozen now. just looking for support.

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