I\'m feeling a little overwhelmed - twins confirmed

(21 posts)(15 voices)
  1. We just had it confirmed yesterday that I am carrying twins. I seem to be on a roller coaster of emotions. I started out elated, but am now just feeling anxious about it all.

    Is this a normal reaction? I feel guilty, because I should be over the moon. Right?

  2. Do not beat yourself up over feeling the way you do. I actually cried when I found out it was twins. Of course I knew it was a possibility but I was so overwhelmed. I just didn't know how we would do it since we already had, at the time, a 1 1/2 yo dd at home. I went back and forth the whole pregnancy with my emotions but let me tell you, my boys are 6 months old now and I can't even imagine what my life would be like without one of them. It's hard but I wouldn't have it any other way.

    What you are feeling is totally normal!

  3. Thanks. I'm feeling so guilty on top of everything else, which doesn't help.

    We\'ve suspected it's twins for a couple weeks, but when it was confirmed yesterday I was really excited. For a few hours. Then the anxiety and terror set in. LOL!

    I just keep hoping that with time I will get used to the idea, and will start to get excited. I think it doesn't help that my cousin just had twins 4 months ago and she describes it as awful

  4. I was all over the place when I found out it was twins. Everyone reacts differently! I was happy to have finally found the elusive BFP (my first one ever after many cycles and years). But I was also scared to think of how much our lives were going to change with two vs. one, as well as all the possible complications that can come with a twin pg. I also kind of had to mourn a bit that my pg would not be like that of most first time mothers (bigger belly, more dr. appt, bedrest, etc.).

    You'll also find that people, even those who are well meaning, will have plenty to say when they find out you're having twins (How in the world are you going to handle two? Better you than me...etc.)

    Now that my babies will be arriving any time now (I'm 34w2d today), I can't imagine only having one. Does that mean I'm not anxious? No way, but now that I've felt them move, seen them on weekly ultrasounds, and so on, I can't imagine one of them not being there.

    Congratulations and good luck to you!
    Cincy

  5. nasalmeida - I'm just about 22 weeks with twins, and still pretty terrified. My DH and I have been ttc for 4 years and have had many miscarriages, and since I'm 44, we were thrilled to find out it was 2, as there is no way I'll be going through this again.

    But as much as we want them, I've found the pregnancy to be much more challenging than I expected, and I'm so scared of those first few months. What I'm trying to say is, the fear is totally normal, and probably well founded, HOWEVER, I try to look past that and remember that it will get easier, and I know we're going to be so happy to have them both.

    Don't expect the fear to go away too quickly; you need to give yourself time to get used to the idea. If you talk to mothers of twins that are a little older, you won't find people telling you it's awful, you'll find people telling you that it's wonderful.

    Good luck.

  6. Thanks everyone. I needed a boost this morning.

    I think you're right, I need to talk to parents of twins that are older. And I can see all the benefits, for sure. They will always have each other to play with, etc.

    I just remember how hard infancy was with my daughter (who is now 4 yrs old) and I CAN'T IMAGINE doing it with two! I think she was a more difficult baby than most, and with any luck these two will have their dad's personality and be a lot more easy going

  7. Do they have Twins Clubs where you live? I'm just looking into that now, but I've talked to some other mothers of twins who say that you can learn a lot from other mothers, and this is a great source of finding them.

    nomotc.org

  8. I think there might be a multiples club. I'll definitely have to look into that. Thanks!

    Tania

  9. nasalmeida, congrats on your pregnancy! I'm 11 weeks with twins and I'm mostly anxious about the pregnancy and less about afterwards. I'm going to be 42 in Oct and like Tuesday 1000 my DH and I are just so happy to be pregnant with them since it was last chance saloon for us. However, I feel a huge lonely sense of responsibility about carrying our little poppets to term and to a healthy life. I'm 5'1\" and was 105lbs. I've also been terribly sick for the last 6 weeks so I haven't been able to gain the weight I should be gaining yet. However, I keep thinking about the big picture - we will all have two beautiful babies soon and what can be more precious than that? I totally understand your fears.... You're not alone.

  10. multiplebirthscanada.org...sh

    nasalmeida', I'm not sure what part of Canada you are in, but here is the link to a multiples organization there. Some provinces appear to have no clubs, but others have several. I found our multiples club to be a great source of info and commiseration (as well as all the baby gear being substantially cheaper used instead of new prices). It's quite normal to feel overwhelmed. Give yourself (and your DP) time to adjust to the idea. It's doable just not the same as a singleton. Good luck!

    Debi

  11. fatsea - don't worry about the weight. I didn't start gaining until 13 weeks, and I was worried at the time, but the babies kept measuring on track and my doctor was not at all concerned.

    The weight will come, and with it all the discomforts, so don't rush it! You'll be fine.

  12. nasalmeida, I am in the exact same situation as you. Just confirmed today. Identicals. We did a single embryo transfer FET and are in the 1-2 percent of results in this category. They are mono/di identicals (one placenta/two sacs).

    I feel a lot of stress from this outcome. We were purposefully conservative in our approach. Looking back, I guess I wouldn't do anything differently.

    We are blessed with DD (4yo) and DS (2.5yo). I don't know how we're going to handle this. Eeek.

  13. my mom happened to be with me when i had my first u/s , she was the one who first saw 2 little spots on the screen. i was in such shock as my eldest and the twins would be only 20 months apart... i packed a bag and went home to my parents place for a few days. I felt like i was on a rollercoaster too. give yourself some time to adjust. and i wondered why i was growing so darn fast even at 6 or 7 weeks! they turned out to be 6lb13 oz and 7lb5oz huge for twins.
    good luck. be patient with yourself. and yes pomba (parents of multiple birth association) is great. they have meetings you can attend and if you become a member you get to go to their sales first, before they let in the general public. this is the way to go when you need 2 of everything! sue

  14. I was just browsing through this thread and I wanted to say Congratulations on the twins !
    I have 16 month old twins and I'm so glad I have twins. The first few months were a lot of hard work and it's a good idea to get some help. My mother came and stayed overnight for 2 or 3 nights every week for the first 3 months...but it gets easier and easier, especially after they're a year old. Twins are great !
    There\'s a website you might be interested in called twinstuff.com. They have a forum for expectant mothers.
    Good Luck !

  15. I was in shock for at least the first trimester! It wasn't until another friend of mine announced her twin pregnancy (natural) when I was about 15 weeks along that I felt like I had finally accepted it - and that was mostly because I saw the terror on her face and realized \"hey, I don't feel that way so much anymore\". Good luck to you and welcome to the nuthouse!

  16. I felt so much anxiety in the beginning. We already have a 4 and 2 year old and I was unsure how two more would fit into the picture. I was still feeling very anxious after my 12 week u/s and came home to read Dr. Luke's book on multiples. In the book, there was a section on the range of emotions you go through when you discover you are carrying multiples. After reading that, I realized that everything I was feeling was normal. I also took a Chicken Soup for the Twin Soul out of the library. At first I thought I wouldn't even read it. However, once I picked it up, all the positive and cute stories made me feel a lot better. I had been reading so many of the complications of a twin pregnancy before my u/s and that also brought me down. It's important to know what to expect, but it really helps to hear a lot of positive experiences as well. I am 19 weeks now and have overcome my anxiety. I know there will be tough times, but I would not change one thing about this pregnancy or babies. I've even run into a lot of people lately that are totally thrilled about twins and love the idea that we will have a family of four. Focus on the positive.

  17. My twin girls are 6 weeks old today and even through my sleep deprived haze, I feel so lucky to have TWO little angel girls. I also have an 19 month old DD, which makes it all the more challenging.

    A pp was right about all the comments you will get when you tell people you are expecting twins. I was always so surprised at how negative everyone's first comments were (how will you do it? etc.). But the truth is that there are far more positives! My girls already have their best friends, dh and I completed our family in one pregnancy, and the joy you would feel at the birth of your singleton is multiples by 100 with twins.

    Stay focused on the positives and have a healthy, happy pregnancy. Nature will provide you with the strength, patience and means to get through each day!

  18. The fear and anxiety are totally normal. I found out we were having twins and DH wasn't with me for the appointment. I called him, asked him if he was sitting down...then broke the news. He was over the moon, I was petrified for a while.

    Now that our boys are 2.5 (I have no idea how all that time passed so quickly!)...and even when we first brought them home, I have felt so blessed to have two of them and I can't imagine it any other way. It helped that they were our first and will be our only children.

    You'll get a lot of advice as you go through your pregnancy - I can say that schedules and being pretty strict about keeping to them are our saviours.

    When you get closer to your due date - say 'yes' to anyone who offers to help, and be specific about what you need - I had friends who would just swing by our house and run a load of laundry, just to help out and it meant SO much to me - every little thing helps.

    Talking to twin moms definitely helps a ton too.

    Best wishes to everyone for long and healthy multiples pregnancies.

  19. Thank you everyone! It really warmed my heart to read everyone's responses. I think I am slowly feeling more accepting of this - still a little frightened at how we will get through the early times, but excited too.

    Tania

  20. Was browsing around and saw this post. We have 12 week b/g twins and while the first few months were a lot of feedings and little sleep, it is easier now. There were parents of singles that sounded like they had it worse also. I'm so happy we have twins because when my son was little he had no one to play with and these two will always have someone. Everyone says they can't imagine having twins and they right.............they can't imagine how special it is. Congrats on your pregnancy and on twins.

  21. Quote:
    I think it doesn't help that my cousin just had twins 4 months ago and she describes it as awful
    My twins are four months old, and it's NOT awful. Sometimes it's hard. Very hard. But mostly it's good. They smile at us, they know us, they are our children and I can't imagine one of them not being in our family. We're starting to get on a schedule now and they are sleeping through the night.

    I was happy both our embryos took but also scared at the same time. Just remember every phase, especially the tough ones, will pass.

    You can do this

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