I Could Use a Friend

(6 posts)(5 voices)
  1. I am now 6dp3dt, and I'm feeling so sad. I'm unfortunately feeling pretty sorry for myself as well. I feel TERRIBLE for even complaining, because so many of you have been doing this for so much longer, but I can't seem to shake myself out of this. I've only been on this IF journey for a little over a year now, but I started my journey with literally almost dying, and I'm just exhausted.

    My problems are pretty severe, and I'm also not as young as I used to be; my RE gave me a 10% chance of IVF working at all, but because I am ever hopeful, I decided to take it. While the odds are not so great, they are 10% better than if I didn't try at all, right?

    Despite the less than stellar prognosis, I've actually been pretty positive throughout the entire process. They didn't think I would produce any follicles, and I did. They only retrieved two mature eggs, but they both fertilized, and they were perfect grade one, ten celled embryos when we transfered them. Everything went just how it is supposed to go.

    I have lost my positiveness today though. I'm downright depressed. This place is not my home--my family isn't here, and my friends aren't here. I don't have much of a support system, and I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been through this would really understand anyway. Not even my husband truly understands. He tries, and he tries to be supportive, but it doesn't help me when he says, "You've just got to stop crying. You've got to stop feeling this way. That's all. You'll make yourself crazy before your pregnancy test, so just stop." If I knew how, believe me, I'd stop. I don't like feeling like this!

    I don't feel a single bit pregnant. I don't have any symptoms at all--no tender breasts, no nausea, nothing. I just don't feel pregnant. I took an HPT yesterday at 5dpt. I knew it was too early. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did it anyway. My RE stressed over and over not to take one because the trigger shot could/would make it show a false positive. I actually EXPECTED it to be positive based on that. I was crushed when it was negative. Several wonderful people here have told me that it was too early, and that it's not necessarily all over, that I should test again mid next week. I'm trying so hard to hold on to that, but I STILL feel utterly despondent, and that of course makes me feel like a real whiny baby, because I need to buck up and keep on keeping on, right?

    This post obviously has no point. I just need someone to talk to. That's all.

  2. Hi labterea,

    I know exactly how you feel. This is my 4th IVF attempt and I am feeling extremely depressed as well. I can't even sleep at night. I am 3pt5dt and I don't have any symptoms either. I feel like AF is coming any day now. I have had terrible cramping since the day of transfer. I even called my RE before transfer and told them I felt the cramps before transfer even took place and they said that was normal but I don't feel "normal". They are so bad that they woke me up in the middle of the night. But I am "trying" to stay as positive as I can because there has been no blood yet. My beta isn't until the 20th and I am dreading it because I don't know if I can deal with another negative. So don't feel bad about how you are feeling, I think a lot of us are feeling the same way.

  3. labterea-Hi, I am in the 2WW and it is truly horrible.. I took a HPT and BFN
    5pt5dt. I am so very depressed. Good Luck.

  4. Hi ladies, I am in the 2WW, too. I am not going to test until 7dp5dt which is Tuesday. My beta is Thursday. I am scared, anxious, and would love to join you three in the wait. Sometimes just *talking* to others who know what it's like alleviates some of the fear and anxiety.

    Take care,
    Beth

  5. Hi ladies. I'm very glad you are all here actually. I don't know when I've felt lower than I do now, and that includes the time I spent in the hospital trying not to die.

    I still don't have any physical symptoms. My overly helpful DH informed me that I'm pretty irritable, but that's because I've been on a hormonal roller coaster for over a year, and because I'm utterly nervous, sad, and stressed out. I've also had some vividly strange dreams lately, and I've heard that's a possible symptom, but I'm not taking it to the bank, because like I said, I don't feel anything.

    Anyway, I'm rambling, but I'm so glad to see you all!

  6. I am soooo sorry that you are in such a bad place right now....but, i have to tell you...you must get out of your bad place and resurface to the world!!!! There are so many people for you here..that know exactly what you are going through...Positive energy is so important to IVF success....Yous ound like such a wonderful women who is very in touch with their inner self....that is truly wonderful....
    Please if you do feel really depressed go see your doctor...
    you have been through so much...and you are soooo strong...This is it..this is your time to shine, and you will!!!
    YOU ARE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW...and a little being is growing inside you!!!!
    In korea..they say the only way to a positive pregnancy is smiling!!!!
    ....

    how i knew i was pregnant both times...MY VIVID DREAMS...and that was my only symptom....I just know it..you are pregnant!!!

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