Four year old boys, experience?

(8 posts)(6 voices)
  1. I would love to see what other's experience has been (in general) with their boys between the ages of 3.5-4.5ish. I have b/g twins and my son is definitly testing the waters more lately...he just seems more crabby, irritable (whiny, crying more at nothing), saying no a lot.... compared to my DS my DD looks like an angel! (which she is not I realize that part of this may be that my youngest son is more mobile and active (he's 9 months old and crawling, standing etc.) and he is also right in the midst of dropping his nap WHICH he has always needed so much. I can't help but feel he is just not getting enough sleep (DD wakes him up earlier in the morning and no I cannot seperate them for night).

    So I guess I am wondering....is this pretty typical of this age with boys? Is it being exaserbated by the dropping of the nap? I'm trying to reassure myself that this is just \"this age\".

    I just ordered the Tot Clock to help with them getting out of bed in the morning (they have been coming out earlier and earlier to potty, but not going back to their rooms) and I am also looking into starting back up a rewards chart (more for him!). I just think it would really help reduce some of the \"battles\" and put a more positive spin on things (I did this when the baby was born for several months and it worked pretty well, but they were still pretty young).

    Brittany

  2. Oh my gosh Brittany, I can't tell you how nice it was to read your post. My DS (3.5) is going through the WORST season ever. He is more moody then before, he fights us on everything, and now he has learned that he can express himself by screaming. And he has a girl-pitched scream.

    This morning at church he embarrassed me in public for the first time ever by screaming as I carried him to his class (he was mad he couldn't keep trying to walk the curb) and then when I picked him up after church he was unhappy about something and screamed all the way back to the car. It was so bad I could only laugh because I thought surely this is a joke? LOL

    I am just not used to this because my kids (like yours) are generally fairly well-behaved, or were. Now it seems everything is a struggle with him.

    And because he is very sensitive to lack of sleep, I've been thinking it was that too (dropping naps). But now I'm not sure because he is doing it lately even if he is well rested. So now I believe it's a phase due to his age, and we are going to hire a parenting coach to give us tools and help us with how to best handle him, because I am tired of it. Unlike what I did for the terrible two's, I don't have time to read a bunch of parenting books to find the best strategy for this phase. And for me, the terrible two's were nothing compared to this!

    So no advice, just commiserating with you! If you figure out any good strategies or read any good books, let me know!

    Would love to hear others' input too...

    Karin

  3. my son is 3 1/2 and he is definatley \"strongwilled\" strong spirited, defiant, etc. My friends with girls- well they just seem in general to \"have it easier\" granted their \"h+ll\" will came later in life i believe. I think boys can just be harder at this age. My son is WORSE after a nap- moody, crying, demanding etc. I have started trying to drop naps- b/c well he is more manageable and \"passes\" out earlier in the evening- easier on us. But if he gets up too early in the morning it is almost impossible to skip an afternoon snooze.

    ugg- i think they just are moody and grouchy sometimes- we have had the very embarrassing temper tantrums in public as well- and i also just laugh thinking - oh my goodness- this cannot be happening.

    I am not a huge fan of spanking- but i use it when i have to. My son knows i will so i honestly rarely have to pull out that card- and b/c of that if i tell him i am \"counting\" to 3- well by 2 he is usually doing what i say. If he doesn't mind i take away what ever he is playing with, rig the tv so he can't watch his \"movie\" and will send him to his room, i don't care if he screaming or pitching a fit- he can do it alone- when he has calmed down- which sometimes takes 15 minutes- i will calmly go in his room hug him, and talk to him.

    recently on vacation in a hotel- he wanted to \"do something\" and it was \"nap time\" my child was hysterical- i mean- i really thought hotel security was going to come b/c it sounded like i was killing him. I ended up having to \"hold him,\" in a restraining manner- for about a 15 min episode of screaming hysterics- until i could get him to calm down.

    this has also happened to me on airplanes- Now THAT IS A FREAKING NIGHTMARE- we survived- with no child abuse- but rought.

    You aren't alone- all kids can be very challenging sometimes- I just usually REFUSE to allow my child to \"beat me\"- especially on important issues- i fear with my son if i back down one time IT WILL BE OVER.
    jen

  4. Right there with you. My b/b twins turned three in mid-December. We are just entering the phase of screams and tantrums...this from two boys who have been happy and compliant most of their lives, albeit a bit rowdy LOL! I'm chalking it up to something our PT told us when the boys were very young - whenever they are on the verge of some new skill or big milestone, their brain shuts down on some of the previously learned behaviors - example: when they were about to talk, all of a sudden they stopped cruising and went back to crawling (extreme example but all I can think of right now.)

    My two try to skip naps only on the days when DH isn't around. I have been (to my benefit, I may add) putting them in our Chariot and taking them to the local XC ski center - they are usually asleep before I leave sight of the base lodge! It works for me right now because I get some good and much needed exercise and they get decent naps. Not looking forward to spring as I'm not sure they'll do the same if I'm pulling them on the bike.

    Brittany - we have My Tot Clock and I swear by it! If nothing else, even when they don't want to nap, they stay in their beds, because the 'clock is blue.' Some mornings I will hear them talking to the clock 'come on clock, turn yellow!' which is hilarious, but they do respect it.

  5. Thanks ladies! This does make me feel better and yes Karin, like you I simply do not have the time to read a parenting book right now. My afternoon break is so short and I am busy running around, and then after they sleep it's laundry, dishes, bills and crash!!!

    It's funny b/c many of my friends comment on how good demeanered the kids are, a gym staff member even told me that my kids were so \"polite\"...I always laugh b/c they don't see the craziness at home LOL No really though, I think it's time to re-implement the rewards chart.

    As an aside, we have our twins in karate and it's..well..hilarious. My DD is pretty darn good ~listens, follows directions, repeats what the instructer says....DS on the other hand is generally to be found lying on the floor, sucking his thumb or chasing himself in circles off in a corner! All the other parents tell me they will \"get it\" and that they are doing better than theirs at that age, but it's hard for me to believe it will improve

    Brittany

  6. I have a DS who just turned 5 yo. He was honestly the most laid back / best kid ever as a baby and toddler. He even did fine when our DD was born (right when he turned 3 yo). Such a great loving big brother.

    Then came 4. Someone told me they call them the f...ing 4's and I would agree. All of a sudden he became whiny and sassy mouthed.

    He is doing a little better now and I would still say he is better than most kids his age, but it was a rough stage to go through.

    I also wanted to disagree about girls being easier. My 2 yo DD is a very spirited child and tests me every day.

    Good luck.
    Jennifer

  7. I SO relate to your posting. I have b/g twins who are 3.3 years old and what a handful my DS has become recently! My DD is very strong willed and she was the one who gave us the harder time up until recently, now my DS is so whiny and throws the most incredible tantrums - yikes. The daycare gives us a little report on the kids every 6 months and the first one, in October, no problems, but the 2nd one just came out and (they put it in a positive light) he \"needs encouragement\" with several aspects (ie, sitting and listening during storytime, following instructions, etc)! I'm SO hoping this is phase because DH and I are pooped We are definitely going through the \"tumultous threes\"....and there better not be \"f-ing fours\" on the way! (I have to say, all my friends that have complained about fours have told me that they kids were a dream until age four...so I'm hoping if my kids have been tough between ages 2 & 3, maybe we all will be spared?!) We have to hope so!

  8. Glad we can commiserate. Yes m DD was always the more challenging one up until recently, now she have sort of switched roles LOL!

    I really can't complain too much, he's not that bad. I just think compared to what he used to be like, he's more challenging and I'm finding it harder to be a good parent with him sometimes when he acts this way.

    Keep it coming!

    Brittany

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