First Day of 2ww, anyone else?? 11/2

(119 posts)(8 voices)
  1. Pickles- thinking about u- wondering how u r doing today.

    Jen

  2. Well it's a BFN!! just as I feared. I just wanna give up but hubby wants to change RE's but I'm not sure I'm kinda just numb right now. On a happier note though my mom hands me a blank check and says "what ever it takes go for it til you get it" so I guess we will try again...... I LOVE MY MOM !!!!

    Hope all is well with everyone.....I'll keep ya posted meeting with the doc tomorrow in am.

    Jenei

  3. Jenei- i am sooo sorry- but so happy u have such an awesome mom!!!!!!
    Jen

  4. Jenei ~ They dont call this the emotional rollar coaster for nothing. I'm so sorry for the bad news. Chin up honey.. dust your self off and come back fighting stronger than ever.

  5. Jenei I am really sorry. I know facing another cycle is hard but thank God you have a mother like that she sounds like one in a million. I understand how you feel not wanting to do another cycle but if you give it a little time it will probably seem more appealing.

    Thank you all for your kind words. I have been afraid to even think about anything since I last posted and had not even dared to look at the site but I got my second beta's results today and it slightly more than doubled. On Monday it was 434 and yesterday it was 983 so that means my doubling time is 40.7 hours and that is pretty good according to beta base and shows the babies are doing ok.

  6. Jenei, so sorry for your bad news, but that is so awesome about your mom!!!!

    Pickles, I have been checking obsessively to see how you were. Glad you are doubling! Congrats! When do you get to have an u/s?

  7. Thank you Heather. I am sorry if I worried you. Everytime I thought about things going wrong I got all emotional and the spotting would return so I sort of hid from all things IVF.

    My ultrasound is set for the 3rd but I am not very happy about it because I am not sure how many are in there and for me it is very important that I have additional tests done if I am carrying multiples because I may have progesterone issues and need to test if there are twins or more. Plus I am losing weight like crazy and think intervention might be a good idea if it continues as I have dropped 5 pounds this week so far. I just cannot eat enough. Anyway I asked others opinion on the beta board and if it sounds like twins to to the others here I will make a fuss and demand they move up the date.

  8. Pickles- glad your numbers look great. How many days post transfer was firsat beta??? I think there r definately 2 in there. But usually triplets numbers triple instead of double.

    I had my u/s today only a gestational sac at 5 weeks 3 days- very scared next week will show nothing. I go back on wednesday for another u/s and then I will be 6 weeks 2 days-also a beta tomorrow.

    Jen

  9. There you are! dont you ever do that again I have been worried sick about you. Woooo whooo on the beta numbers. You def. called it (knowing your were preggers) I'm very happy for you. Please share you secret on losing weight I hear it's very common but not for me. I am surprised they are waiting unti the 3rd to get you in for an ultra sound, I do hope you can get that pushed up a bit. Take care and give your self a pat on the back... Your preggers

  10. Sorry Miracle I've been a little nuts and had to hide because I was about to lose my sanity (not that I have a firm grip on it most days anyway )but I think I will be much calmer now and I promise to stay put.

    Jen a sac at 5w3d is not bad some people take up to 7w to show a heartbeat according to some of the stuff I have seen on the web. (Though at the moment I understand all too well how little comfort that can be while waiting) The first beta was 13dpt5dt

    OK... I have more drama for you

    Hubby and I were really worried about the ultrasound not being until the 3rd because that is the proper date for the heartbeat scan if one is being REALLY conservative. I would have been 7w1d and in my last cycle I had lost the twins by that time so it didn't seem safe to wait if there were issues. Last cycle I had what looked to be a great cycle other than the problems with my POI allergy issues. The RE switched me to crinone and the day before my heartbeat scan I started bleeding and m/ced. (Sorry Jen I know that doesn't help your fears ) The OB I have been seeing told me it was a genetic issue and said tests had been done so I told myself it didn't count for anything with this cycle. Then we did the new cycle and everything changed. Remember the thing where my RE in Czech told me that he thought I had progesterone issues because of the timing and put me on a high dose? Well the whole thing hit the fan because the OB's nurse made a huge fuss and gave me a horrible time about it. I made multiple attempts to explain it to her but could not get a progesterone test and was told I was basically being hysterical and taking up the doctors time with needless tests. Beyond not getting any satisfaction I was also treated like an idiot. VERY long story short I fired my OB, called his office and made a long and very detailed complaint about the nurse and will be driving 2+ hours Monday to get the proper care that I should have been getting all along including an ultrasound to see how many babies are in there.

    A question for y'all on the bleeding issue...

    I cramp and bleed when I exert myself and when I become emotional and then it goes away to the point I only get pink mucus when I wipe. I had pretty much stopped and then the nurse thing hit and she made some really insensitive comments that got my blood pressure up and it started again but now that I am calm it is back to normal again. I am begining to believe it is ok but has anyone had this or can you give me any idea what it means (other than to rest and stay calm )

  11. Pickles- from what I have read 20% of pregnancies have first trimester bleeding with no problems, and also if there is a twin pregnancy it is even more likely. Or it could just be a sch- I would just try to relax as much as possible and not exert yourself emotionally or physically.
    Jen

  12. Just checking in so y'all won't think I jumped ship again.

    Doing ok but trying to take it easy until I see the doctor Monday. The nurse from the origional doctors office called this morning to let me know the doctor would see me I just said I wouldn't be going there in the future and hung up. I actually felt kind of bad for her as she sounded crest fallen and probably had been given the once over for her hubris but I just didn't have it in me to make small talk after she had been so difficult. Oh well... if you can't say anything nice better to say nothing at all.

    Hubby has forbidden me to do anything until the doctor tells HIM the bleeding not a big deal so I am reading novels and watching everyone else try to figure out how to do my job... it is sort of amusing. See if anyone takes me for granted in the future LOL

    Hope everyone is well.

  13. Hmmm I wonder how many women have gone to his practice, needing and wanting to speak with the OB and were road blocked by that witch of a nurse. Me... I would file a complaint with the medical board so that it doesn happen to another woman. She put you at risk and she's NOT a doctor and clearly didnt and doesnt have the understanding of the risk factors. I wonder how many women have lost their babies to her incompetence. Report them.

    I'm glad the bleeding is slowing down, However I do agree with your hubby on this one.. Keep you a$$ on the couch until you see the doctor on Monday

  14. had my beta today- 2920. 4 days between tests, it was 815 monday. It is normal i suppose. Praying it just keeps growing.

    Jen

  15. Ladies I have come to say goodbye. I have been joking about and glossing over certain unpleasant facts that I need to be realistic about and my body will no longer allow me to ignore them. The reality of the situation is that I had a very narrow window of opportunity with my last cycle and when I miscarried I may have missed my chance. (I was assaulted a number of years ago and have a great deal of internal damage. - Jen don't you dare feel bad about the rape analogy used earlier in the thread. I promise you said exactly the right thing even if you didn't know about my past history as you reminded me of what I had survived and helped me to be stronger.) If I lie to the doctor on Monday I will probably miscarry due to the drain that is being placed on my body and could aggrivate certain pre-existing conditions to the point I might be putting my life at risk (I can't hold down foods and I am living on ensure shakes and have dropped 7 pounds this week. My blood pressure is doing crazy things and I keep getting dizzy and falling - the dog thing would not have happened if I were not so unsteady on my feet. When I throw up there is blood in the vomit, I see silver spots floating in front of my eyes and I feel like I am going to pass out. I am keeping a headache that goes to the level of being a migraine most of the time.) If I tell the truth to myself, I am fairly sure my gastroenterologist will insist I go off the IVF meds and I will miscarry. This is a large part of my hysteria about the nurse putting me off until December as I have let her cause me to wait and allow this to progress far longer than I should have. I think the bleeding and cramping is my body trying to rid itself of a pregnancy that while viable is not safe for my body to continue. I am not sure what I will or can do. I know you would all be supportive and forgive me my stress levels but to be honest this site might be dangerous for me right now because I am using it as a tool to avoid being realistic about what is happening and it is time I quit pretending to myself that I am just hormonal and morning sick. Perhaps there is some way the doctors can salvage the situation but I am not very hopeful as I had been warned that this could happen and I would have to accept what my body dictated. This will be the my last attempt, I cannot put myself or my family through this again. This is something better faced alone as I will not keep raising unrealistic hopes. I will return if I make it past the 1st trimester but for now I think I should just rest and wait for the doctors to tell me what I have to do.

    God bless you all and I wish you the best possible outcome. Please do not feel sad for me. I was lucky enough to have had my sons when I was young so as hard as this is it is not as devastating as it would be for many others here.

  16. Pickles,

    I am praying for you.

  17. Sorry pickles- I hope things work out for u. Goodluck. Jen

  18. Pickles ~ Im in shock. I just dont know what to say. I had no idea about your tragedy. I'm so very sorry that happened to you. Admitting this and trying to be realistic is very big of you. Your thinking of your entire family and your trying very hard not to give your self false hope. I can understand that, yet at the same time, see if you can hang on to a little bit of that hope. For now you are pregnant and I hope that adjusting your medications may help you keep this pregnancy. Regardless your a strong and loving person no matter what the outcome. Pop in once in a while, I for one would love to know your doing ok.
    (((Hugs)))

  19. Pickles..... For a woman I've never met I admire you.... you are wonderful and your sons are damn lucky to have you as thier mother I will keep you in my prayers.

    Jenei

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