First Day of 2ww, anyone else?? 11/2

(119 posts)(8 voices)
  1. Jenga ~ C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S

    Anything over 50 is good 86 is Great! How big is that smile? Does your face hurt from smiling? When is your 2nd beta? Congratulations again, we all deserve this.

  2. Jen that is wonderful!!! And I am so glad it is working with your own eggs!

    Miracle, thanks for the colace suggestion I will pick some up today.

    Well lets see what is up with me today...

    I woke up at 5 AM today so I am a lady of leisure. At this rate I should be on a normal sleep schedule just in time for 3AM feedings

    According to my handy dandy pregnancy calculator I am exactly 4 weeks pregnant today IF I am pregnant at all. That is sooooo confusing but they count from the first day of your last period and the computer uses the collection date of my donor to figure out when would have had the first day of my period IF I hadn't been on hormones and IF the eggs came from my body. Good thing the computer is doing it LOL I would surely mess it up. Anyway it is kind of nice to know where I am in the scheme of things.

    Well I think I have gotten the boob job from h*** and no one bothered to tell me. I am far from flat chested but the past couple of days the things have swollen up to Dolly Parton dimensions and they ache. Forget the idea that it makes one feel more feminine... I now understand how a cow feels

    I am still holding off on the EPT test if for no other reason than pride... I was the smarty pants who told Jen to wait so it would be a really good idea if I were to follow my own advice. I don't know if I will make it though. Monday is so far away so we will see.

    I am useless to anyone as all I do is google baby stuff. OK I might do other things but I am still thinking baby stuff and don't remember what I am doing. Think of it as a new form of sleep walking.

    I am still not allowed to do anything by my family. I survived the nightmare plane ride but now once back home people freak if I lift a bag of sugar. Still it is kind of cute. Hubby is really into this cycle and believes it will be the one.

    My dogs are acting weird around me which I think is a sign as they did it while I was pregnant with the twins too. After all some dogs can tell when a person has cancer etc so why not. They all have suddenly become belly sniffers and are laying at my feet all day. This can be difficult as they are all Great Pyrenees and weight in the 100lb range each. The floor looks like it is covered with sheep skin rugs. Normally they like to be in the yard so the doggy pile up is an unusual thing but for now the only time they use the doggy door is for potty runs. I opened a window that didn't have a screen in it and one of the cats came in. She hopped down on the floor and then all three dogs opened their eyes and lifted their heads. You've never seen a cat move so fast. All the dogs did was put their heads back down and resume guard duty as they are very good friends with the cats but I guess they were sending protective vibes that as a mere human I can't pick up on. The cats are outside for the duration due to the possibiliy of infection / miscarriage from the germ you find in litter boxes so I don't know how they are reacting. It seems I am going to come out of this with spare mouths to feed no matter what my ept test says as feeding the cats outside has brought me 2 new kitties so we have a real Noah's Ark thing going on here.

    Pet peeve for today... knowing I would be gone a long time I set my "away" message on the computer and let the emails pile up until yesterday. For some reason it seems that 90% of my emails were in all caps and written in one run on sentence that goes down half a page. Better yet there is some really creative spelling. Now I am a realist... if it were not for spell check I would never have been allowed in any office and I know it BUT some of these people need to break out a dictionary or something. I counted 6 different people who do not know that sum and some are not the same word!!! Add to that the new shorthand that has developed from people texting and I am going nuts trying to guess what people are saying. Is it that much more trouble to write out the words "are you" instead of using "RU"? But that isn't the worst of it... sometimes they hit the wrong key... one person hit a Y instead of a U and it took me quite a while to figure out that Y is next to U and that the mysterious "RY" was just the mundane "RU" that I have grown used to. That was the one I was able to figure out. Some of the others are beyond hope. I hate to write a customer and say "can you please translate this into a readable form?" but I keep thinking that they are writing in code. Oh well I *only* have 452 more emails in my inbox This is a little much for my poor little hormonal brain When I deliver I swear I am bringing the computer into the delivery room

  3. OK I am double posting but I feel like shouting from the roof tops...

    I took an EPT test today... 8dpt5dt... took the test at mid day instead of with morning urine AND had been drinking lots of fluids so my pee was REALLY dilluted

    AND

    I got a positive

    Admittedly a faint positive but under the circumstances I'll take pale blue thank you God

    I am not sure about where this puts me as far a multiples but I consider it to be a sign that there are probably multiple babies in there

  4. Let me start by saying I'm in the 2ww as well I am 4dp3dt on my 3rd IVF cycle 1st was a tubal 3 embies on a 3dt, 2nd a BFN 3 embies on a 5dt no explanantion from RE. This cycle is 4 embies on a 3dt so the waitting begins...as of today and yesterday some cramping and Lord are my BOOBS sore...I guess a good sign. My beta is on the 18th trying my hardest to not poas test but it's hard I'll probally give in this weekend

    I've been reading everyones posts and as I'm reading I find myself saying I know that feeling, I have that symptom.... I feel like I can relate to every emotion you are all writing about and I have to say It's helping me cope with the wait and I just wanna Thank you all

    Sticky thoughts for everyone

    Jenei

  5. PICKLES_ congrats -yahooooooo. Can't wait for beta number

    My second beta is tomorrow- nervous.

    Jenei- welcome- hope this one works for you.

    Jen

  6. Congrats, Pickles!!!!

    Welcome, Jenei. Glad to have you here.

    Good luck tomorrow, Jenga.

    I\'m feeling no symptoms (aside from the PIO symptoms!) and that makes me nervous! I want something! Ugh! I HATE this waiting!

  7. well i have been awake since 4 am. Just had an omelet- and i am still feeling hungry.

    I am breaking out- zits- i don't think this is a good sign- beta this morning- uggg. Hope it doubled from tuesday. Stressed.

    How is everyone else.

    I went and saw "THE BOX" last night- very strange- very strange- definately different than the previews showed- i don't think it is a "movie theater" movie- rent it- that is my advice.
    Jen

  8. Thank you Heather and Jen!

    Good luck on the beta Jen!

    Welcome to the thread Jenei, it sounds like you've been through a rough time. I hope this is the one.

    Not much to tell here. It is sort of anticlimatic to know if that makes sense. I know I am pregnant and I am thrilled but now I have a lot of waiting and worrying before I dare believe that I will actually get to hold a baby.

    I am not going to write much because I am sort of down this morning. Maybe it is the rain and cold outside plus the hormones but I think it is really more about fear. Until yesterday I was worried about getting pregnant now I am worried about something going wrong. Oh to be young and naive again.

  9. pickles- tell me about it- and i am not that old either- but i would lOVE to be naive about pg- and just assume that in 9 months a baby will pop out healthy and happy.

    I HAVE STREP THROAT- i have huge white pustules hanging off my tonsils and uvula- now to get a prescription, my husband is a doc- but he doesn't want to write the script for me- so now i have to call and beg someone, maybe my RE- but he is a flake.
    Jen

  10. Pickles ~ Yahhooo Congratulations honey.. Very Happy for you. I can sympathize about the hunger. I’m starving and just finished breakfast. I’m trying really hard to go overboard. As for the fear… honey we’re in this together. It’s a whole new level of worrying. First we are concerned about getting pregnant then we’re concerened about losing it, then when we are passed that stage we worry about the baby being healthy. I’m 39 so I’m concerned about down syndrome and it seems that everywhere I turn I see a down syndrome child and I get chills. I feel awful saying that but yes I’m worried. We all want our babies to be healthy. Then once they are born it’s a whole new level of worrying. It never ends.

    Jenga ~ Good luck with your second beta. Zit’s are very normal (unfortunately) please post as soon as you can, I’ll be thinking of you. Can you gargle with salt water for a while? Antibiotics are good for you now that you’re pregnant.

    Jenei ~ Welcome and def. hang with us.. A gal can go crazy during this time

    Update on me: I started spotting again. Brown in color so I’m not worried. I also fulfilled my wifely duties and hated every minute of it . I was worried about the baby the entire time. I felt awful about this yet at the same time I need to relax and enjoy this . People have s.e.x all the time right… Arrgggg

  11. Morning Ladies! Thanks for the welcome

    Miracle, Pickles n Jenga Congrats!!! looks like things are working out WOOOHOOO!!! can't wait to hear about the updates.

    Today is 5dp3dt and still some light cramping but nothing else new other than my mind is in overdrive. I will say my dreams have been very vivid has anyone else experienced this?

  12. mehriahmadi ~ OMG I h.a.t.e the dreams. Yes I went thru and still have the vivid dreams. Some were nightmares that still give me the chills. When is your beta?

  13. I keep dreaming about s-e-x and it is awful because I am not supposed to O until after my beta so here I am having this REALLY great dream and I start to freak out because my subconcious keeps saying "you have got to wake up" and as odd as it sounds I panic and it becomes a nightmare.

    A shrink would have a field day with that one I am sure

  14. My Beta is on the 18th so I'm thinking if I choose to poas (which we all know I will probally do cuz l don't think anyone can wait) Sun the 15th should be when I could get a + hopefully.
    Still some cramping but no spotting like I had with the 1st IVF but every cycle is different as my hubby keeps saying. I feel bad for him I'm all over the place up/down like an emotional roller coaster. I feel like it worked but then again I don't wanna get my hopes up to be shot down. I am happy at least 3 of the people in this thread got BFP maybe it's a good sign I chose to read your posts out of all the thousands

  15. My Beta is on the 18th so I'm thinking if I choose to poas (which we all know I will probally do cuz l don't think anyone can wait) Sun the 15th should be when I could get a + hopefully. Still some cramping but no spotting like I had with the 1st IVF but every cycle is different as my hubby keeps saying. I feel bad for him I'm all over the place up/down like an emotional roller coaster. I feel like it worked but then again I don't wanna get my hopes up to be shot down. I am happy at least 3 of the people in this thread got BFP maybe it's a good sign I chose to read your posts out of all the thousands

    Honestly it sounds like you are from what you wrote earlier. Not everyone spots and the cramping, sore boobs and emotional behavior this far before your beta screams pregnant because it is too soon to be your AF. Plus it might just be a little early for the spotting... mine usually comes in the 2nd week and is brownish from the delay in coming out. I don't want to raise your hopes too high because I know it is hard if you don't get a positive and you believed but if I were a betting woman I'd put a few hundred on it.

  16. okay ladies my repeat beta was 166- go back on saturday for progesterone and beta.

    mehriahmadi- i think you have implantation chickadee!!! i understand about being too "optimistic" that's how i felt- but i also felt like i new my body- and the whole HPT were making me think i was crazy.

    Jen

  17. Jen You DID it YAHOO!!!! The beta looks good! How is the strep throat doing? The prednisone may be good for implantation but it seems like everyone catches something while they are on it because it supresses the immune system.

    Miracle how is the spotting going?

    Not much to tell here...

    Monday seems so far away and I really want to go and hear the good news about the BETA so I can get a rough idea of who all is in there.

    Well I almost caught up on my sleep... but the post office called at 6 AM to let me know they had a couple of pallets of shipping boxes and to ask if I wanted to send our truck to get them or have the postman deliver them. I don't mind having to pick them up but geesh who calls at 6 AM? Hubby was annoyed, I was annoyed AND the dogs woke up so that was it for sleep I guess I am practicing for 3 AM feedings. Remember this and consider it a warning next time you read those cute stories about how great it is to work from home

    Y'all take care and be good to yourselves

  18. I am not feeling very +. I am cramping and feel like I am going to start any minute. I know that is usually a good thing but it just doesn't feel good. I'm now worried that dh isn't giving the pio right and I am going to start before I even have my beta. Freaking out a little.

    Jen, AWESOME!!!! Congrats!

  19. Pickles ~ I LOVED having those XXX dreams… I wish I had them now so I would be more into have sex with my hubby. I think my body is getting use to all the progesterone so the sexual dream and nightmares arent as vivid. I love your honesty girl, because you KNOW we are all going thru it, feeling it and thinking it. It’s a matter of who is going to say it first HA. The spotting is gone for now. Thanks for asking. My first response would have been.. Couldn’t you wait to call me at a decent hour! WTF

    mehriahmadi ~ I tend to agree with Pickles.. Everything your feeling is a good sign. I’m all for POAS. I’m a POAS addict, I buy them in bulk.

    Jenga ~ I saw in another post that you got your 2nd beta and the numbers were great. I didn’t dare respond to you here until you posted, so now I can officially say Congratulations again my friend.

    Heather ~ Cramping is good honey.. Hang in there… your ligaments are probably stretching. I had the same cramping it felt like AF then I started bleeding which put me on tilt. It’s all good.

  20. Today was a turning point... I will no longer say anything about my fear of being pregnant with triplets because if I am not carrying at least a three babies I probably am losing my mind.

    Not since Captain Ahab's tirades about Moby Dick has anyone let loose with such a level of incoherent mutterings as I was subject to tonight. Perhaps if Miss Piggy reproduced with Hannibal Lecter some of their offspring might be able to achieve the proper level of evil emotional behavior but I doubt it. I think my family may be looking into buying the tranquilizer darts they use to sedate large predators.

    Seriously and with all joking aside I was never like this with any other pregnancy. Sure I was moody and emotional but this is way worse. My hormones are working overtime. The only thing I can say in my own defense is that I cannot understand how after eons of evolution men have not as yet discovered that when a hormonal woman starts apologizing it is a warning sign similiar to the growling of a junk yard dog or the ticking of a time bomb.

    Add to that the fact that my mind seems to be on auto pilot and it is a perfect storm. (I now know why the post office called at 6AM to see what I wanted to do with my boxes. I somehow managed to order 4 times as many pallets of boxes as I intended and they could not work because there were so many of them. )

    I want my brain back.

  21. are any of you experienceing "jumping" in the uterus. This morning after i got up to pee at 3:30 am- i felt 3 times, like something jumping in my uterus on the right side. It makes me nervous- a spasm- the embryo dieing. I have been having a vibrating off and on alot- but this was like huge feeling. Repeat beta today and progesterone- i just keep thinking this baby has died. I am so negative this isn't going to work out.

    Jen

  22. No jumping Jen but a different kind of heavy slow cramping in just one place when I thought cramping would be done by now. I know we are too early for movement and implantation cramping should be done (even if it felt like the other cramping) so I cannot explain either. I do suspect that both are our wombs growing and changing to accomidate their new residents. We might just be feeling it in different ways... me as a long slow tensing that causes the cramps and you as kind of a quick twitch in the muscle like when you see a spider near your hand and jerk it away. Probably emptying your bladder takes pressure off it and makes it more noticable. I don't think either is a signal that something is amiss (and believe me I have been haunting the web looking for things that can go wrong)

    The only good thing I can offer you is that if the baby were dying it would not cause any sensation. Remember we are talking about something about the size of a grain of rice still so this is just something in your lower abdomen adjusting to all the changes. Right now your uterus is growing and filling with additional blood vessels to prepare for later in the pregnancy so maybe it is something to do with it adjusting to that.

    It is hard to imagine something as small as a fetus is at this stage causing so much activity and so large of a reaction in the rest of our bodies but the truth is we are changing into mini factories with the purpose of making babies so I guess it is normal to expect everything to feel odd right now because it is growing and changing.

    My big thing is my blood pressure. I don't have a number but I swear I feel like I am on the verge of a heart attack about half the time and just walking around the house makes my heart pound. Plus I keep feeling dizzy and like I am going to faint. I keep thinking "man I am in no shape to be pregnant" but I googled it and it isn't my heart, my blood pressure or anything bad... instead it is normal because we are making so much blood. I guess the same is true for the headaches but I swear I do not remember getting them like this in the past either.

    I suspect with all we have been through to get pregnant we will spend the entire pregnancy waiting for something to go wrong. I am haunted by the fear that I will forget to take my meds and ruin everything. It just all seems so fragile and so easily lost.

  23. pickles- i know- why can't i just be blissfully happy, why can't i expect that everything will turn out fine- like my stupid sis-inlaw who announced she was six weeks on facebook last monday. WHY can't i be that lucky that things will work out perfectly and be so sure that just because i have doubling betas that will equal a live baby in the end. WHY- is it soo hard- why is it soo unfair. Why can't we be innocent in all of this like all the stupid freaking fertiles out there???? i keep thinking- God is going to punish me for having bad thoughts about my sis in law"s pregnancy- that wouldn't be fair- she has 2 beautiful kids- and she gets pregnant just by thinking about it- where as i have to spend thousands to get the possibility of being pregnant- and then m/c.

    I know- i am feeling sorry for myself this morning. Just wishing i could fast forward 6 weeks and be into the 10th week feeling positive about this instead of assuming every twing, bump, or lack of symptoms means it is over.

    By the way- WHEN IS YOUR BETA PICKLES???
    Jen

    Jen

  24. This is small consolation at the moment because we are not to the point we can see the heartbeat but once we get there the risk of a mc drops to 10%. (I have been googling again ) It seem the miscarriage statistics that cover the first trimester include all fertilized eggs. What this means is that those frightening numbers are already far better than they seem because we have gotten to the point we have implantation and a positive ept. The next landmark is to make the egg sac and after that the heartbeat. I guess we could do an ultrasound to get the news on that but the heartbeat is the one that matters so I will just hold out for that. I should be able to see that on Dec 2nd. My 1st beta is Monday.

    I am pretty nervous right now about the testing because shortly before I cycled I had yet another glitch with my insurance and at the moment I am without and we are headed into all the tests etc We have been talking to lawyers trying to fix the issue but may be out of pocket.

    I probably should have postponed the cycle but I am not getting any younger and the donor was already paid for and had started stimming.

    This is the 3rd time I have been dropped and it is really ticking me off. Its not that I am forgetting to pay my dues or doing anything wrong. It just happens before any big event. It is like Aetna freaks when I call and start trying to see what is covered. It happened days before my last surgery too. Talk about timing being everything.

    Hang in there Jen it will not be much longer and we will be past the scary dates and it will be easier.

  25. if i hadn't had fetal demise AFTER seeing heartbeats i wouldn't be so freaked. But for me seeing a heartbeat doesn't equal baby unfortunately. The true test will be making it into the 2nd trimester- and that is a LONG way away.

    I know that it is unlikely that i will m/c again if i make it to heartbeats- but i am VERY gun shy- and just can't help expecting the very worst. I am preparing myself today for the call that my beta hasn't gone up- i just can't help myself. I don't know how to protect myself other than to expect the very worst.

    Sigghhhhh. I have been reading up on m/c after heartbeats etc- i am just under 35- so there is still about a 30-40% chance of an embryo having abnormal chromosomes- after 35 the rate of abnormal embryo's is 40-50%. That is scary. but it also says usually they don't implant- so what the hell went wrong with my twin pg last year????

    I asked the doc about lovenox- he said i can't be on that and the steroids at the same time. And i am to continue steroids until 12 weeks. I still worry it is a clotting thing b/c i have MTHFR. But won't know unless i m/c again.

    Jen

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