First Day of 2ww, anyone else?? 11/2

(119 posts)(8 voices)
  1. Anyone in the same boat??

    Am so looking forward to this journey and would love to find girls on the same schedule.....

  2. well I'm not right on your schedule but I'm 6dp5dt and test on Friday. But I just wanted to give you some support and hope that this works out well for you. How are you feeling? Is this your first cycle? This is my....I lost count. We had our DD( now 3) from our 1st cycle and were trying( very hard) for another. Great luck to you

  3. Today is my transfer day so I guess it is also the first day of my 2ww. I am doing 5 day blasts so the torture will end on the 12th if I am counting correctly.

    This part always makes me nuts but I am going to pretend to have learned something and not go anywhere near an ept test this time.

    Good luck to both of you

  4. Hello..
    test_user: thanks for posting and the well wishes. You are halfway there! How are you feeling?? This is actually my 2nd cycle, last one ended in mc at 6 wks. I am being very positive and praying for a better outcome this time

    Pickles: Hello. Good luck on your transfer and look forward to hearing your report. Is this your first cycle? I think i recognize your screen name....

    Do you both have to go back to work or are you able to take it easy??

    I transferred 2 embies , 5 day transfer, one 4 grade and one 3 grade. Prayin for the best!

  5. This is my second cycle I too lost a pregnancy in the first trimester. It was twins in May so we may have been pregnant at the same time if I remember correctly.

    I am all safely propped up on the hotel sofa trying to stay awake while hubby grabs a few minutes of sleep. We leave for the Prague airport by taxi at 1 AM which is only a few hours away and the oral progesterone acts like a sedative on me so someone has to be awake or we might end up someplace weird. (We did IVF in the Czech Republic to save $$$ as we are using donor eggs and the cost is about 5 times as much in the US.) So if all goes well we will be home tomorrow at 7pm if I am doing the time zone thing correctly.

    I was lucky this time (or the donor was really good if I am honest) and we had 3 eggs make it to the 5 day mark. Two were 1As and one was a 2B. They wouldn't freeze the 2B so I had all 3 put back in. I am slightly nervous about that but all in all pretty zen about the whole matter as I am going to leave it in God's hands. I figure if all 3 make it to implant with me doing the "I am afraid of flying" routine then they are tough enough to stick out the rest. Actually I checked the odds and really the risk of triplets is about 10% if I get pregnant at all so I am not going to get all nutty about it. Or at least that is the plan at the moment This is the 2ww after all and we are supposed to get nutty LOL

    I am lucky and work from home so I can rest and be a lady of leisure for a while if need be without it being too obvious. To be honest after 10 days in a hotel room it will be nice to actually use my brain a little I didn't feel up to doing very much sight seeing and I've caught up on naps for about the next 6 years

    test_user it was so nice to see that you have a DD it makes me feel more hopeful.

    evapap thanks for starting this thread it is good to know I won't be doing this alone.

    Take care y'all

  6. hey all- i am 4 days past 3 day transfer- i will poas this weekend on day 9. beta planning for next monday 10 days post if i get a positive hpt- if negative will wait until wednesday.

    Cm- thought i'd join you even if i am ahead by a few days.

    Pickles- i also transferred three embryo"s- but it was a day 3 transfer. This was my last oe cycle- been on wait list for donors here in US- got the donor profiles last week on my retrieval day. I transferred a 8 cell perfect, 8 cell almost perfect, and 7 cell almost perfect. I also had a twin pg last january- made it to 9 weeks with heartbeats and both died. Scared- i was nervous about putting all 3 in- but knew nothing will freeze so best chance of surviving is in me. i think my clinic quotes about 2-3% chance of triplets about 30% chance of twins. I also am leaving it in God's hands- i will deal with whatever we get- i am just praying for one.

    Twiggs- good luck, poasing??? any symptoms??

    jen

  7. Hi Jen, very happy you joined! The more the merrier

    Anyone else really , really hungry??? Any other symptoms?? If so, how soon did you feel them?

  8. I had some cramping twinges today- so hard to know if it just ovary pain or implantation. I want this week over with.
    Jen

  9. Hi ladies,

    I\'m feeling pretty full, I have light cramps from time to time but I just don't know. it's hard to say cause with my first cycle we got pregnat and I had light cramps and implatation bleeds ( a pinkish spotting) TMI sorry. And here she is but this is sadly our 7th time trying for a second child and i"ve felt cramps other times and nothing so I just have to wait till Friday to walk the plank

    I hope everyone else is doing well, and I send hugs from afar. It's a hard time but I will be praying for us.

  10. test_user- i know it sucks. My negative cycle though this summer i really felt perfectly fine post transfer, and didn't have any cramping until right near beta- which was negative. I don't think i felt anything during the 2ww until i knew it was negative b/c of negative hpt"s. BUT- my body is definately acting more like it did my last pg in january- of course all the drugs can really screw with you- but i am feeling hopeful that it worked- praying it did- as my STUPID sister in law called to tell me she is pg with #3 today and only 5 weeks- I GOT THE PRIVILEGE of being the first family member to find out- isn't that nice?????? I haven't talked to her in probably 3 months-

  11. Hang in there test_user it is just a little longer and what you are describing sounds very promising to me.

    Jenga I keep thinking they are trying to reach out to us or bond with us but they just don't get it. When my late husband passed I belonged to a website for widowed people and we just used the acronym DGI (Don't Get It) for the people who didn't understand and rubbed salt in the wounds without even knowing what they were doing. I think it is the same thing... she probably thinks there is some bond between you because you were both trying to get pregnant (OK either that or she is a total witch) but the result is the same no matter what made her do it... it still hurts and takes away from a time you really need to focus on yourself. I'm sorry I know it must have been hard not to scream at her.

    I so wish we could do this in a bubble. The rest of life is intruding into my IVF space too and the 2ww is enough pressure on its own. I feel like if I could just stop the world and all the things I am worrying about it would be fine and I would be able to get pregnant but with the added pressures it gets to be too much and honestly I am worried that it is hurting my chances.

  12. Well, as you can see I am home. Thanking God and kissing the ground as we speak. Actually I got home at 9:15pm so that makes this slightly shorter than the 30 hour trip it took to get to the fertility clinic in Zlin. This time the connecting flights were closer together so it was more like 26 hours or so of hurry up and wait, bad airplane food and really cramped seating. From the morning I woke up to do the transfer until my arrival home last night I had not slept in 46 hours and had held down very little food. There was just too much all at once the past two days. At this point I am ok and I grabbed about 6 hours sleep before the jet lag kicked in so today I am taking it easy but I really wish I could have had an easier transfer day.

    I am torn about what to think about my chances.

    I had the perfect cycle. My lining was 11mm, my blastosists were super good quality, the doctor told me he gave me better than a 70% chance of getting pregnant and said if I put in all three embies I would most likely have twins. Everything an IVF lady wants to hear but I am really worried about having screwed it up with the chaos that surrounded everything.

    The transfer itself was a piece of cake but the credit card company almost messed the whole thing up by canceling our card and sending us a new one to our Virginia address while we were IN CZECH so we spent over 1 1/2 hours begging pleading and yelling at them trying to fix that mess because there was no other way to get the money. (Our $$$ are in IRAs and other investments that you need time to get to, we couldn't go to a foreign bank for a personal loan and other than one sister who is on retreat and unreachable there was no one to call who would be able to wire us thousands of dollars at the drop of a hat) The trip home was rough... I mean really, really rough. Almost missed a flight, the planes kept hitting rough air, we had our carry on with the meds disappear (DUMB, DUMB, DUMB woman picked it up from the floor next to me while I was helping hubby look for our other luggage on the baggage merry go round thing. The thing was right next to me in our pile of luggage. When I found her she was in tears crying to the airport employees about how she was on vacation and now all her underware were gone Sorry but you can buy new undies anywhere... try getting IVF meds in time to keep from miscarrying.) On the last plane something went wrong with the communications system due to an idiot using a cell phone and we spent forever circling the airport because the pilot couldn't talk to the tower. I am a lousy flyer to begin with and tend to spend most of the time in the air making promises to God about how good I will be if he will just get me safely back on the ground but this was way worse than normal for me. Honestly, after my last vacation I had sworn I would never fly again and the only reason I did it this time was for the babies. Nothing else would have gotten me on a plane.

    Then there is the personal stuff that is adding to my stress levels.

    The doctor at the clinic called into question the reason for my miscarriage and it has me all upset as he thinks the problem might have been the old doctor not giving me enough progesteron when he switched my from my POI due to the reaction I was having. The idiot didn't tell me I had to stay in bed after using it and really didn't have me taking much. It isn't like it will change anything at this point and the new doctor has me on really high levels of progesterone so I'm covered but I really need to feel like I can trust the doctors at this point and the changing story is making me nuts.

    My digestive system kind of went to pieces on the IVF meds and that was rough as I started to develop ulcers again. (Well I think, my gastro did a diagnosis over the phone so its not like we did the camera thing but as many ulcers as I have had it kind of gets easy to tell that you have one) So I can't trust nausea as a sign of pregnancy as I'm not on speaking terms with food about half of the time at the moment.

    And my 19 year old son who is a Army combat medic and is deployed has not made contact in over 4 weeks. Now this happens and I know it doesn't mean anything because he could be away from computers and the mail could have just been delayed in transit but it is really rough on me and I tend to over react to things because of the stress. His older brother leaves for basic training right after the holidays so I am kind of high strung at the moment. (Sorry to mention that but the doctor said "no stress" and that is just a bad joke at the moment and it has me worried. If you look at my posts on the IVF in Eastern Europe boards I look like the worst drama queen in the world but I just have too much on my plate at the moment and it is making me erratic. I've been avoiding saying anything about it because I know how lucky I am to have sons when others have not been blessed with any children yet and don't want to seem like I am rubbing people's noses in the fact that I have kids. But at the same time, the worry this is causing me is not very helpful at the moment and is making me really high strung.)

    I swear if one more comment is made by medical staff about the importance of having a positive attitude I will erupt because we can't live in a bubble. I don't care if it is my stress over my son not being able to write me, Jenga's SIL calling with the baby news or someone else's boss being a jerk we have to live in the real world... it is all the same. We have a right to have emotions because if anything we are under more stress than other people even without what the hormone soup does to us. We can't avoid it and it is SO unfair to ask us to be cheerful and positive and to tell us that it will help us get pregnant. It might make their day easier when they have to deal with us but supressing all that stress so that we can seem perky can't be doing anything but making it harder.

    I have without wanting to broken about half of the doctors rules for post transfer behavior. No stress... yeah right. Don't lift heavy objects... does that include don't try to hold yourself in proper puking position in a closet sized airplane toilet stall with the plane bouncing around like a rubber ball? Walk but don't exert yourself, no hiking etc... ok what about a 26 hour marathon airplane / taxi odyssey with cramped seats you can't get out of due turbulance? No sex / orgasms because the contractions could expell the baby... what about the contractions that were happening due to fear? Take it easy and rest... I won't even go there. No bouncing activities, horseback riding etc... want to take that up with the airline bud? Sheesh, I will just keep muttering peas in peanutbutter and reminding myself that the uncomfortable sensations was feeling could have been implatation cramping.

    OK rant complete. Sorry but I needed to let a little of it out. I am so afraid I will not get pregnant and end up blaming myself because if this is a so called perfect cycle and I don't get pregnant it will feel like it is my fault and I will not have an easy time coping with that.

  13. pickles- sounds like this was a VERY stressful transfer for u b/c of the travel. But this is my 2 cents- i honestly don't believe stress has ANYTHING to do with an embryo implanting- it is all genetic- if it is genetically wired to implant it is going to. SORRY IF THIS IS GRAPHIC- but women who are raped become pregnant- and i can't think of anything more traumatic than that and stressful. Women in 3rd world countries who have no food, no shoes, no basic hygiene, no water, who carry heavy loads on their backs, and walk miles upon miles in the unbearable heat become pregnant and have babies.

    I believe that the RE's and the IVF world make us feel like there is SOMETHING we can do about an embryo implanting- but the REAL TRUTH is- there is NOTHING WE CAN DO- no amount of koombaiyah is going to make it happen if that little embryo doesn't want to do it. No amount of being jostled, bumped, thrown around is going to make an embryo not implant- please remove these thoughts from your head. You have provided a protective utering environment- and nothing can make or not make those embryo's hang out in there NOTHING!!!!!!! We do live in the real world, and if you have families it is impossible not to have stress in your life. I think stress is what keeps me pumping along- i wouldn't know how to live without it.

    Last year my dad died at 56 right before my ivf start, from a horrible cancer that killed him in 6 months- he lived 2000 miles away from me and i flew almost every month with my son to be with him, i spent 2 weeks in the icu at his bedside watching him die a horrible death, i bought a new "old" house and did all the "general contracting" myself while working full time in a high stress job- because there are 4 adults and 1 kid and 3 dogs living in too small a space- and i thought it was going to send us into divorce-with a 2 1/2 year old and a 79 year old demented grandma who requires 24 hour supervision- did i mention that my 26 year old college brother has also been living with us on and off for 6 years- my mom is dead- and I am the "surrogate parent". I did another ivf- pregnant with twins- both died at 9 weeks. 2 days after my 34 birthday. Then i found out at just 34- i have DOR- diminished ovarian reserve- UTTER DEVISTATION- sooo I traveled out of state with my 3 year old to do an IVF at a different clinic- 2 weeks away from home, and then traveled in the car 9 hours the day after transfer, the cycle sucked- there wasn't much of a chance only 3 mature eggs. Then 3 months later decided to embark on yet ANOTHER oe cycle while i wait for donor egg profiles from my other clinic.

    Here we are a year down the road and i STILL have 2 HIGH mortgage payments- 57k in credit card debt, a 12k medical loan, my dh has 120k in school loan debt- and we are going paycheck to paycheck trying to pay the bills. IS THIS STRESS GOING TO STOP ME FROM TRYING TO HAVE A BABY_HELL NO..... if i waited for no stress _ i would NEVER get close to having another. Ohh- and day of retrieval- i FINALLY got my donor egg profiles to choose from which- i have to tell her today which one- while i am waiting to get a BFN or BFP UGGHHHHHH.

    My point- is we all have stress- it is the American way unfortunately.

    PICKLES_ you have done everything you can to make this a success just by providing a loving, warm, nurturing body for those babies to grow in. PLEASE don't beat yourself up- AND you deserve another baby if you want another baby- i can only IMAGINE the stress of worrying about my son in a war torn country- you have every right to be stressed and worried. I pray that he is safe and that your other son will be safe as he deploys as well.

    Okay- enough of my rant

    JEN

  14. Thanks Jen you said just the right thing. Right now the most comforting idea in the world is not having any control. The stress I can cope with and even the whole flight mess was survivable but I am so tired of trying to be good enough to get a baby.

    I can't imagine having to plan the next cycle in your 2ww and all the rest. ((((hugs))) to you for all you have been through

  15. Pickles- I really hope u had a good day today- I hope u endulged yourself in lazyness and any food u like b/c u deserve to.
    Jen

  16. You are going to think I am having mood swings or something but I am fine now and it is in great part thanks to you. Once you calmed me down I started to relax and look at things logically. To tell the truth, if I were younger I would not have picked this year to cycle in (and esp. multiple times as that just builds up too much stress) but once one is past 40 it really feels like a race against time so you have to take what you can get and be glad you have the luxury of even trying. Thank you for talking me down off the wall yesterday. I had been crying for a couple of hours and was even more freaked out than my post showed so it was a big deal.

    The cramps I was feeling on the plane never went away and I've been able to be up and moving around so they must be implantation related. They are really heavy and in different areas so I am guessing more than one baby is deciding to stay. I know 3 days post transfer is a little early to be definite but if you apply pure logic something has to be going on down there for that to happen.

    I am still sick to my stomach but hopefully it will not go away as that would worry me more at this point. I know it isn't real morning sickness yet but I'm sure you know what I mean. Feeling a little cruddy right now is reassuring and it is much better than it was. I have problems with my digestive system and airplane food is pretty nasty stuff so just being home where I can eat what feels right helps a lot.

    I think it is emotionally healthier for me to assume I am pregnant and risk disappointment than to be cautious and worry about things I cannot change. That way I can focus on trying to prep my body in case my other fear comes true. I broke out my Dr Luke book on carrying multiples and I am trying to stick to her food guide lines as much as I can from day one because I am concerned about the thought that all three might take and that can be pretty frightening too after having just lost the twins. If nothing else it makes me feel like I am doing something and gives me an excuse for some serious consumption of comfort foods. (When else in your life is it a good thing to get up and drink a big glass of egg nog at 3AM? So I will enjoy it while I can. )

    PS Thank you for understanding on the Army thing, Jen. I'm not going to talk about it anymore because it wouldn't be fair to everyone else but it helped a lot to have someone understand. Last cycle I mentioned doing IVF on a site for military families and was accused of "trying to breed a replacement" so I've been afraid to mention the two in the same conversation since then because that really hurt. I know a month is a long time but we were told to prepare ourselves for this to happen so it is not like I wasn't warned ahead of time which helps.

  17. Pickles- based on this whole experien ce if u weren't a little emotional, I would be worried. U have a lot of "fear" stuff going on in your life. Things u can't control- but yes U R pregnant until proven otherwise- so treat your body good- eat up and like myself hope at least 1 or more have implanted. The cramps r a good thing . I am scared too of becoming pg again and m/c. I really want to go on lovenox if I am, just in case. Reguarding your sons in the military- it doesn't matter how many children u have- if your child, no matter the age, is in potential danger- no logical person would be "unworried". The fact that any person would accuse u wanting another baby to replace a grown child is absurd and she be beaten. Those people obviously "don't" know what it is like to love a child yet- u cannot replace a son u have loved and raised to manhood. What insensitive ********. It is noone's business why u want another baby- why do I want another when I have my son, b/c I DO!!!! And I will be doing donor egg if thus fails b/c I do want more children. My son is the light of my life, I want him to have a sibling, there is nothing wrong with it.

    Anyway- I think this is a place we should feel free to voice our concerns and worries- reguardless of what they r. And we shouldn't judge each other for our decisions or make assumptions either. I hope u have a wonderful pregnant day !

    Jen

  18. I second Jen!!!

    Hope you have a wonderful PREGNANT day!

  19. Thank you both and don't worry I am... no matter what I find out in 11 days TODAY I am pregnant and I am glorying in it.

    But please tell me how you are doing... any twinges or new symptoms? How about food cravings? I'm nuts for egg nog but I think this is just a good excuse to drink it w/o worrying about the calories

    hugs to both of you

  20. WOW... I'm actually at a loss for words.

    Pickles ~ I'm so sorry you had to travel right after your transfer.. What a nightmare, my back would be killing me and I think I would have reached out a chocked someone. The fact that you felt some sharp cramps is a good thing. Also, there are so many ladies who are out partying it up, dancing, drinking ect and become preggers so a little bumy ride wont affect your chances. Hang in there hon..

    Jenga ~ I'm right there with you, I'm 39 and it's time to sh1t or get off the pot for us. I decided to go for it my self.

    I know that we are told to relax and take it easy. Right after my transfer we went out to a restaurant and had lunch, then we went to the movies and shopping afterwords.

    I've been keeping track of everything (symptoms) so that I can provide support on the symptoms thread. I havent posted them yet because .... well I'm still scared.. I'm afraid to jinx my self. But I'll post them for you and hope it helps...

    1st. Have you checked your pulse? Is it stronger that right there is an indication.

    I had my transfer on 10/15
    10/16 nothing
    10/17 sore boobies
    10/18 sore boobies
    10/19 Sharp cramp
    10/20 sharp cramp
    10/21 I started burping
    10/22 burping and exsesive saliva
    I still burp so I wont keep mentioning it
    10/23 faint + on hpt
    10/24 started bleeding (still faint + on hpt)
    10/25 still bleeding still testing +
    crazy dreams in between
    10/26 Beta day (positive 95) 11dp3dt
    10/28 2nd beta 180 (13dp3dt)
    11/2 ultra sound blood work. Maybe 2 sac's ... beta 1995
    11/9 waiting for my 2nd ultra sound

    Good luck ladies.. I would like to stick around and chat with you all and support you while your going thru all this.

  21. So I went in this morning for my beta and for the past 2 days I've been having cramps and having light spotting. So this being our 7th or 8t cycle for our second I knew it was a bust....iI evn went to the store and got tampons. So long behold they called an it's POSITIVE!!! my beta was 125. I'm so happy but at the same time being careful as we've had chemicals.But today I'm preggers and happy. Thanks for the support and great luc to everyone. I have to go back on Monday for 2nd beta soI will be praying for good news.

  22. Mind if I join in? I tx'd 3 embryos today; 2 8-cell and 1 9-cell. It was a 3 day tx, which was disappointing to me, but what can you do? It was our first donor cycle. I have done 3 ivf cycles with my oe with no success. Good luck, all! My beta is 11/16!

  23. Wow Jen and Pickles! Yall have been through it! I hope this is IT for both of you (and me, too!)

  24. test_user- congrats that is an awesome beta!!!! doesn't look like a chemical number to me at all- my twin pg first beta was 190 last january.

    Heather- congrats on transferring 3 great embryo's even if they were day 3- my son was from a day 3 ( 8 cell embryo) and that was with my 30 year old eggs and severe MFI- so you have great chances of twins- or WOOHEEE triplets- that is scary isn't it. But very happy for you and hope this is it too!!!!

    Miracle- thanks for popping in and sharing- CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! so happy for you. wishing a long 9 months!!!!

    here are my symptoms

    10/30- transfer 3 embryo's- cramping most of the day.
    10/31- twinges, bloated, peeing off fluid
    11/1- bloated, weight gain, sob, swollen belly- vibration feeling in my uterus
    11/2- bloated, weight gain, sob, swollen belly- maybe -fibration feeling in my uterus
    11/3- definately some cramping/twinging in my uterus, uterus feels tired
    11/4-11/6 off and on funny vibration feeling in uterus- swollen, weight gain, fluid even on my knees, sob
    11/6-definately ravenous- ate 3 "dinners" tonight- been peeing alot at night

    I really hope that the ohss symptoms for me are an indicator that this is going to be a +hpt- this is how i was last january- my cycle this summer- nothing.

    PRAYING HARD FOR A BFP IN MORNING- even tho it will only be 8dp3dt.

    Jen

  25. Good morning everyone!!!

    I made it to 4AM today so I am almost back on US time

    test_user that is wonderful and Jen is right it is a good beta. I don't remember my exact number last time but the twins were in the same range. Good job!!!

    Welcome to the thread Heather! Don't be sad because they were not blasts because people were getting pregnant with day three embies for years before they discovered how to get to blast stage. The big plus with blasts is that you can avoid putting a large number and risking triplets because they can tell who will make it better. (Unless you are a dummy like me and don't know the grading system and scare yourself to death by going overboard) With 3 day 3s you should be fine.

    Jen - What are you doing woman? POAS is a form of torture. You are braver than I am after the nightmare I put myself through last cycle I'm not going to touch a pee stick ever again (says the former EPT test addict as she edges towards the door to get her car keys and make a run for the pharmacy) Seriously don't get upset if it is too soon but I have my fingers crossed for you. I know deserving to get pregnant has nothing to do with results but you've earned this one and then some.

    Yeah Miracle!!! Congradulations and thank you for joining the thread maybe your good fortune will rub off on all of us. The timeline was a great idea so I am going to do it too. Don't worry about jinxing yourself... bad luck is not going to visit this thread so hangout with us Besides anyone nice enough to come back and support us during our crazy time is too nice of a person to have that happen to.

    OK my timeline

    Day 1 - feeling stressed but no symptoms until almost the end of the 24 hour period
    Day 2 - serious cramping in two parts of womb (kind of felt like getting a shot with a really BIG needle feels only it tingled too) It could just be the airplane ride / cramped seating but looking back I don't think so
    Day 3 - Wild emotional outbursts and more cramping. Normally I would not say emotional was a symptom of something but with me it is... in the first stages of pg I just get plain weird - happens every time. Cramping letting up some but my bits and pieces feel weird. Everything is heavy in there and feels swollen (I don't mean my abdomen feels swollen but you know the sensation you have after a bee sting when the affected area just feels engorged - THAT'S IT )
    Day 4 - Well I am only just starting it but I woke up with indigestion and feel even more sick to my tummy than usual. (the meds bother my stomach) Now that could be the potato soup I made last night so I am not getting too excited yet but I have a history of reacting strongly to hormonal changes so we will see. This one is not the queezy I'm going to hurl feeling its the heavy feeling you get after eating too much which is how I felt when I was preggers with the twins. (Of course the RE said last time that it couldn't be morning sickness that early so I am dubious this time and I know I am just searching for symptoms in every twinge and hiccup) My neather regions feel like I just started my monthly... I get this weird sensation that will wake me up out of a deep sleep when the flow starts and it only lasts for a few minutes but I have been having it all night. BIG symptom there in my mind

    How is that for detailed... I really am obcessing enough on my own without adding the EPT tests this time

    At this point I know I am pregnant and I do understand how stupid that sounds but I know my body and I am sure.

    Mood wise I am good - I made home made potato soup yesterday... you know the kind you keep wanting to make but don't because of all the calories. The stuff was all butter and cream so normally I would feel guilty and even now I am rationing it but man was it gooooood. I intend to enjoy the freedom to eat while I can because in a few days I know I will be living on soda crackers and ginger tea

    I am getting progressively more freaked out about the triplet thing each day. I know I sound like an idiot when I say I didn't know a 2B was really good but there are 2 kinds of scales and all this other gibberish on the web about grading so I had thought I would just trust the RE. I was under so much pressure because of the credit card thing that I went blank and the RE kept saying transfer the 2 good ones and toss the 2b out. I just kept thinking that if they wanted to throw it out instead of freeze it then it must be a bad one so it seemed safe to put it in with the other two and avoid the guilt of telling them to throw it out. Looking back I know good enough to freeze if you live in the same country and good enough to freeze if you have to cross the Atlantic to do a FET are not the same thing. I posted on 2 different boards and the limited response I am getting is saying that a 2B on a scale that has 1A as the best is still a really good blast and if the stuff on the web is right that means I am more likely to have triplets than a singleton and that frightens me. I just keep telling myself that twins are still the most likely outcome. It was hard to even find information on the outcome of transfering 3 blasts because apparently smart people don't do it but one article I did find put the twins in a 55% range, triplets in a 30% and singletons at around 15% if the blasts were "good quality" At the time I kept telling myself that the 2b wasn't good quality but when I asked here there is a deafening silence with a spattering of good wishes which feels to me like people are not replying to the question because they will worry me more than I am already if they tell me what they think. Don't get me wrong I would love three babies but I'm concerned about a triplet pregnancy as so much can go wrong. Still I don't know if I would have walked away from the 3rd blast if I had known this because it did not feel right to just give up on it.

    So this is proof that even if you "know" you are preggers you are still going to find something to worry about in the 2ww

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