donor match seems perfect except for one thing

(9 posts)(9 voices)
  1. got the call today with a donor match, this is my first time so i am nervous and excited. She sounds perfect in almost every way with one exception, her father died at 60 of colon cancer, would this be a deal breaker for you? They love her and think she is a perfect match, she has donated before successfully, would this one thing make you concerned or even decline? I don't know much about genetics or colon cancer, maybe it's not a big deal i just don't know so i am seeking personal stories, advice, opinions, i have not even discussed it with dh as of yet, that is tonight!

  2. Congrats on your first match. It is exciting. If you are concerned about the colon cancer, I would ask your family doctor if it is a hereditary cancer or not. Also, I know from finding my donor, that everyone has something. I wanted to find a "healthy" donor, but found someone with pancreatic cancer. Apparently that is common in elderly men and I don't need to be concerned. Sorry, that I am not so much information. Good luck with your decision.

  3. I would totally go for it and not let this bother me. Seems like every family has something heretitary going on. My family has both high blood pressure and diabetes which can be really long term issues. I am glad that neither of my DE children will have to worry about these issues (at least from my genetics).

    good luck with your decision.


  4. harokal - for me, I would also consider if your DH has much cancer that runs in his family. My DH's family has quite a bit. For me - I would have to turn away someone with a close relative with cancer... because the combo would just be too risky.

  5. Colon cancer can be somewhat familial, however what you need to keep in mind is that if you proceed with this donor you should let your future child know so that they can be routinely screened given there would be a known history. I agree with the other comments everyone has something, the key is you know and again your furture child can be screened. This of course would bring the question regarding your plans to "tell or not to tell"

  6. you might also want to look into how curable it is- i believe colon cancer has pretty good survival rates- and of course medicine will be advanced 60 more years before your child gets to that age. i don't think it would deter me if the stars are otherwise aligned


  7. I agree with everyone else, everyone has something in their history. My grandfather had colon cancer- it is definitely more common in men, so would be more concerning if you had a boy than a girl. However, it is one of the most curable types of cancer and can be prevented with regular screenings. Personally, if you think she is "the one" and that is the only question, I would go for it! With these potential illnesses, knowing is half the battle!

  8. We should be so picky in picking our mates!!! Anyone seriously dating and considering marriage should answer the questionaires that donors have to fill out. I guarantee you that if you knew everything about your DH's family history and medical history you would not have married him or anyone for that matter because everyone has stuff in their family.

    If I had been an egg donor at age 25 my questionaire answers would be awesome, too. It wasn't until I was older that my grandparents died of cancer, my uncle developed diabetes, my mom and her siblings got glaucoma, and that my mom had a stroke.

    So to answer your question, no, it would not be a deal breaker. The perfect genetic human does not exist.

  9. I agree with 64M that if given more time, family members will develop serious illnesses. I think diabetes and breast cancer are worse, not that colon cancer is a cakewalk. I'd be more worried about it if your family history has it too.

    The donor who claims not to have any family history of any illnesses is either a liar, didn't bother to ask her mom or her relatives, or that everyone else is dead.

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