Does your DH grocery shop?

(39 posts)(36 voices)


    Okay, I spent TWO hours grocery/household shopping today... did the whole Wal-Mart with my price-match ads thing, got pretty much everything I needed (they were out of a few things on my list, ugh) and got home just in time for DS to get off the school bus.

    As I was unloading round after round of groceries, I started to wonder. Am I the only one who grocery shops alone? A lot of my friends IRL have their DH's go with them to the grocery store. My DH would rather have a root canal. Granted, he will watch the kids so I can go alone if I want (what fun, right?) and he will help unload if he's here, but he complains endlessly if I ask him to accompany me. It's almost worse than having a kid with me.

    What bothers me is this... I am 25w pregnant with DC#3, and I have chronic back pain issues. So pushing a heavy basket (especially one with a 23lb kid, 35lb cat litter, 8lb cat food, 10lb bg of sugar/flour, etc. 5 gallons of juice) wears on my back. Especially after 2 hours. Then I get home and get to unload.

    Why is it such a big deal for him to go with me and push the basket so I don't have to? I understand it's not what he wants to do, but I do lots of stuff I don't want to do for him, too.

    So I thought I'd post a poll here and see what the general consensus is.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

    Take Care~

  2. I do the big grocery shopping but dh goes frequently, 2-3x a week to pick up extras that we need or that I forgot. He also peruses all the circulars so if there is something on sale at another store, he will take it upon himself to go get it. He has also done a big shopping when I get behind, I just have to ask him and have to hand him a list.

    So, he does not shop with me but does do his fair share when it comes to keeping groceries in the house.

    He's a keeper.

    You need help, now more than ever. Let dh know that it is very difficult for you right now and only going to get worse and you really need his assistance.

  3. I tend to do most of the grocery shopping because it's easier for me to do it time wise. I hate shopping on the weekend, which is when it would work best for DH to come along. It's way too crowded.

    DH has done a bigger trip in the past (if I've been under the weather) or I can hand him a list. He's also been known to run in for an item or two if we need it for dinner (rare, but does happen).

    DH doesn't mind grocery shopping though. I can think of some other housecleaning tasks that he won't do unless he is specifically asked.

    Do you know what about grocery shopping your DH doesn't like? If it's the craze of the weekend, I completely understand!

    P.S. I voted alone (with DS usually) just because it was the most common of the three choices.

  4. Aside from the items I get at Costco, I have my groceries/household items delivered. Saves alot of time and hassle and then neither of us has to go.

    Costco we usually do together (in fact we went at lunchtime today!).

  5. My husband does all the grocery shopping every Monday afternoon. He does all the cooking so it is easier and cheaper for him. He makes a list, brings coupons etc. I am so random in the grocery store. I tend to wander the aisles throwing things in the cart and heaven help us if I am especially hungry or thirsty. You can always tell my mood by whatever I have purchased.

  6. Brandi,

    This is one area where I appreciate my DH's willingness to help. He is gone a lot, so we are all over the place with who gets groceries. I go a lot with the three kids myself when he's working, but he will also sneak out during nap time sometimes when he's home and bring my list.

    I do understand though your frustration. I was doing most of the shopping too when I was pregnant with #3 and had the twins with me. Even now, going shopping with the kids & THEN unloading when I get home is a total workout!!

    I will say I will not do Walmart with the kids as I find their carts impossible to manuever and very hard to push...then add in 3 kids and a load of groceries!!!


    Edited to add: Brandi we do often go as a family when DH gets off shift. When we see people we know, they think we are nuuuuttty...but I haven't seen him (nor have the kids) in 3 days, and usually he's too sleep deprived to handle all three on his own right off the yes, sometimes we go together...and usually with a Starbucks in hand

  7. i voted I go alone too. And I hate it. DH won't go and when he does, he never gets what's on a list. He'll buy all these fancy (expensive) exotic things that 1. we never cook so they go bad or 2. we'll cook one meal out of and then never cook again and they go bad. So, even if I ask and ask for him to go, I usually have to go anyways after him to get the normal stuff like milk, eggs, and yogurt.

    I feel your pain.


  8. Dh does do it on occassion but I try to get to it first so he doesn't. I like to shop for 1 or 2 weeks at the most. Dh likes to stock up on everything and consequently spends a small fortune each time. I keep telling him that we don't need 12 boxes of couscous or 3 bottles of ketchup but then he just finds something else to stock up on.

  9. I go alone every single time ( alone with kids). DH always tells me that he will go if I make a list....but in reality, we would be drinking water and eating the plants in our backyard by the time he actually went, ha! Actually, he did take both kids to the grocery store for the FIRST time ever (DS is 5 1/2, DD is 4), only because he wanted to get me a mothers day cake. He did bring home some groceries that we needed too.

    I know he could do it, but since I am the one who cooks and prepares meals, it just makes sense for me to go.

    Oh, I feel you pain about pregnancy and back pain. I had my first back surgery when I was 19 weeks pregant, and had a 13 month old who wasn't walking yet. So, yeah...I can totally relate to you!!!!!


  10. DH and I go to BJs together and I do the regular grocery shopping by myself and I like it that way-I am more efficient. He will get something that I have forgotten, usually on the weekends-he gets home late during the week. When I was pg, in my later weeks, I, too, had the groceries delivered and continued that a few months after DC were born. Home delivery is a wonderful thing.

    One thing I have learned(and try to remember during tough times) is that you have to tell your DH exactly what you want and need. They think if you don't say anything, you are ok so you need to talk to him and spell out the situation.....good luck....


  11. Before we had kids, dh did all the cooking and all the shopping. After the kids arrived, and I quit my job to be a SAHM and the roles reversed. Now I cook and shop. About 2/3 of the time I go during the day with the kids while dh is at work. The other 1/3 of the time I go while dh is home and he keeps the kids there.

  12. You don't have a choice for me so I thought I'd post instead.

    Before we had kids, we both went alone but about equal amounts of times.

    Once I was pregnant with the twins, Dh did it all, alone.

    Once the boys were 2 1/2, I told him I could handle the shopping so I did 100% of it - always alone with the boys.

    Now I am pregnant again, I did it all with the boys until I was about 26/27 weeks and then Dh took over. He's doing about 90% of all the shopping but he doesn't take the kids, that would be too much (apparently!). I just pick up extra's like milk, bread, fresh fruit.

    We have probably shopped together a total of 10 times in the past 4 years. Neither of us see the point in dragging the kids along, so someone always stays home.

    Dh has no problem doing the shopping, he thinks he's better at it anyway but he also does about 75% of the cooking (for dinner's) so he know what he wants.

    SOOOO, my vote would be "I do it alone AND Dh does it alone"


  13. I like to grocery shop by myself. Most of the time I do, although this past year we've gotten into the habit of hitting Costco after the girls' dance class on Saturday morning, so he does often go to Costco with me (and DDs). He usually entertains them and gets samples while I do the actual shopping solo, then I just text him when I'm ready to check out.

    I quite often do my grocery shopping on my lunch hour, although that's harder to accomplish in the summer. In the summer I might skip lunch and leave early enough to hit the grocery store after work.

    mommy to L&G

  14. I go alone whenever possible. Given the choice, I'd rather go all by myself than with the whole family, no thanks. DH is in & out of stores all day for work (works on retail computers) so sometimes he will get a few things that don't need to be refridgerated.

    If I call and ask DH to stop and pick up even 1 thing like milk it adds up to him coming home 30 minutes later. I can drop the kids off at school, go shopping and drive home in 30 minutes!!! He is the slowest person on the planet. The man has never rushed in his life.

    I just want help unloading the car when I get home.

    DH will go and do the whole shopping trip but will likely lose the list before he reaches the store. If he keeps hold of the list he will forget things that are on it or the worst possible is when he buys food for him that he likes and maxes out the fridge space so there is no room for stuff for the rest of us. That really irks me.

  15. We usually go together with the's usually an "adventure" with the kids.

    As for DH going alone, even when I was 9 mo. pg. I went grocery shopping in the electric carts, 'cause DH isn't as good a shopper as me and would have come home with about $80 extra worth of food each week.

  16. Ha. This is a funny one, for us. When we were first living together my husband liked us to go grocery shopping together. It was during the stage in which it's romantic to do EVERYTHING together, right? Only it quickly became very unromantic because I have the attention span of a demented gnat in a supermarket. I can't stand it and so I spend the whole time trying to get out of there as fast as possible. My husband is the complete opposite. He likes to wander the aisles S-L-O-W-L-Y, inspecting every single item and deciding whether we need it, could use it, and if so, which of the ten zillion choices of that item is the most economical. I start hyperventilating when I'm grocery shopping with him. Which is what convinced him to take on the job by himself. Winner = me. :-)

    (See - this is how you get out of tasks you don't like. Do them badly. Men have this figured out, which is why we women get stuck with a lot of the worst household tasks.)

  17. I go alone, but it's because we'd have the kids w/ us if Dh was there, and it's a pain in the butt. Dh used to go w/ me before the kids. He still does sometimes but 2/3 times I go by myself and Dh watches the kids (and usually when the kids are sleeping--the stores are empty then and I can breeze right through).

  18. As much as I don't like grocery shopping it's the unloading I dislike more. So if dh was home to help for that part then I'd be one happy camper! But I usually do it on Monday afternoons while he's working. I could do it Sundays with him but then things aren't as fresh.

  19. For many years I did it all alone with 3 kids. Once I had the 4th, that was it! I started going at night when DH was home to watch the kids. Now that I am home during the day and the kids are in school, I go alone and I love every minute of it. I love to g and youch the food and choose it and get a good deal. I love food shopping! However, I HATE unloading the car and putting the food away!

  20. I like to go alone. He always asks me, "do we really need this," which gets on my nerves! Yes, we need soy sauce if we are making a stir fry

  21. I'm not the go "with" me type of person - if you are going then I will stay home, lol. I HATE grocery shopping! I usually go alone, but I b!tch about it so much, DH insists that he doesn't mind going but never offers (um we need groceries every week, dear...) but will if I make the list and ask. making the list/menu for the week is the hard part, duh. He always makes fun of me 1) because I hate it so much and 2) because it takes me soooo long. well I would get done in half the time and not mind it either if someone made a list of exactly what to get...

    anyway I have to remember to be grateful enough that he will go and not be silly fuming that he hasn't made a list yet and ran out the door...


  22. My husband is the complete opposite. He likes to wander the aisles S-L-O-W-L-Y, inspecting every single item and deciding whether we need it, could use it, and if so, which of the ten zillion choices of that item is the most economical.
    This is me all the way. I take F-O-R-E-V-E-R shopping doing the same things as your DH. But worse yet, if I figure out what item I am actually going to purchase, I have to inspect all the items to find the "best" one (no dings, dents, best date, etc.), and I always pull from the back when picking out a refrigerated item. A little OCD'ish I suppose. It drives DH mad, so I go alone.

  23. We go as a family.

    Before kids I always did it myself. Once the twins came along we started going all together (the first few weeks he went alone).

    Our grocery time is Friday night. We get the groceries - and sometimes a Starbucks to sip while we shop. Then we get take-out on the way home. Everyone pitches in to unload the groceries and put them away, then we eat our take-out in front of the tv. It's actually a pleasant family outing.

  24. I usually go alone, but if it we are out and need something, we go together. Also, we go to Sam's Club together.
    If I need something while we are at home, my husband will run to the store alone. And he learned to look for the store brands

  25. I love to grocery shop. ALONE......but it very rarely happens. Sometimes at night we will need milk and I tell my DH that I will go and I will be awhile. Usually an hour later I come home. My major grocery shopping I usually go during the day due to hours of the commissary. I also love to coupon so sometimes make several stops, and love to get a good deal!
    If my DH goes he spends about 80 more then I would never uses coupons, never price compares and drives me crazy.

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