Did you change your name when you got married?

(67 posts)(50 voices)
  1. I'm curious as to why so many of the women from my HS class are listed as their maiden names on facebook. For the poll, answer how your name is legally, even if you do it differently on facebook, and then explain in the comments if you do things differently on facebook (my guess is a lot of people are listed under both their maiden and married names). I post under my married name only (Dh's name) on FB and never ever use my maiden name anymore. Never liked my maiden name and I'm glad it's gone.
    I know a lot of people on FB are throwing their maiden names on there but they wouldn't leave their married name off if they actually legally changed it, right? For instance I wouldn't go by my maiden name on FB without also putting on my married name.

  2. ha -- I just responded to your other post.
    I did not change my name. I hate hate hate my middle name and for a moment I thought I would add my husband's last name to mine, thus getting rid of my middle name. I even ordered monogrammed cards with my new initials. After the wedding, though, I changed my mind.

  3. Technically, my name is hyphenated. I do use both on FB. I am super close with my family and my Dad does not have any sons to "carry on" the name so I use it whenever I can (but with my married name). Sorry if that was jumbled; it is late...

    Heather

  4. When I got married I dropped my maiden name. However, on fb I write my first name, maiden, married last name.

  5. ditto to Yakup

    I dropped my maiden name but I use it on facebook so old friends can recognize me. I hate when people only use their married name on FB - how am I supposed to know who you are if we have not seen eachother since were 18yrs old??

  6. never changed my name and i think i'm one of the only ones on FB with only two names. at least among my friends

  7. never changed my name either. I am not a radical feminist or anything, but honestly it never seemed right for me to give up my name and take my husbands. it never made sense to me personally, though I think it is so nice that women who have carry the same name as their children and the family has a nice unity with their name. school now is tavillavaer as people get confused....

  8. People put their maiden names on facebook so old friends can find them.

  9. I only use my maiden name (as a middle name) on Facebook so HS friends know who I am. So does about every married friend I have on there. I don't use it in real life.

  10. I did change my name, there is a portion of my soul that yearns to be 1950s housewife and it just feels cozy to have my husband's name...but the overwhelming majority of me is SO not like that.

    My legal name is my first name, maiden name, husband's name. I really wanted to keep my maiden name as part of my full name. I have also noticed some people on FB with only their maiden names but I know they use their husband's name legally...maybe they just use FB to catch up with older friends and don't want current people to find them? Don't know.

  11. Didn't change. Also a rare freak who is not on fb!

  12. I did not. At the time I had just started my business - which is my name and had gotten some very good local and national press so thought it better to leave it alone. Funny thing is I assumed I would change when we had kids...well that ended up taking 9 years from the time we got married so by that time I just figured what is the point. I admit though that part of me really hates not having the same last name as DSs but I am old fashioned enough that for me I would not hypenate their last name so it is what it is.

    Also not saying there is a right thing to do here but found this article/study interesting...
    Catherine Rampell wrote last week in the New York Times, a group of Dutch researchers recently found that women who change their name at marriage make nearly $400,000 less over their lifetimes than women who do not. To add insult to injury, they are viewed as older, less educated and unmotivated compared to women who kept their names when they tied the knot.

    link to article
    economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/women-work-and-a-name-change/?src=me&ref=business

    link to study
    stapel.socialpsychology.nl/downloads/Noordewier-et-al-BASP.pdf

  13. My husband has a nicer, simpler last name than I do but I never would have changed it. I noticed that most of my friends in the U.S. changed their names while none of my Canadian friends did. But we're unique even for Canadians - our kids have my last name! My husband is not close with his family so we saw no reason to pass down the name.

  14. I dropped my maiden name but I use it on facebook so old friends can recognize me.

    Ditto exactly.

    Renee

  15. Kept my maiden name, which was already a change from growing up (my parents married when I was 2 and just started using my dad's last name, but legally it was my mom's maiden name from the birth certificate, so it got messy around 16; once I graduated, I just went by the legal one, my mom's maiden name)

    DH's name is very common, simple, boring. My last name is rare and ethnic, and I love my family's roots. Also, I was already established at work, and all our docs (i.e. house, etc) were in my name, so it was easier to boot. Plus, in Italy (my ethnicity), the custom is that the woman keeps her name, and when children enter the picture, they have DH's last name, which is exactly what we did.

  16. Took my husband's last name at marriage- my legal name is first, middle, his last (maiden disappeared altogether). He is last in his bloodline (except now for DS) so he felt an obligation to carry on the family name and I wanted us to all have the same last name. I'm like ELENI in the sense that I wanted that 1950's cozy housewife-type feeling with my DH's name- and he has a hard-to-pronounce, difficult to spell polish last name so I am always teasing him that I must love him because I went from a simple-wimple maiden last name to his funky one.

    I have used my maiden name on MySpace and Classmates.com in the past, so old friends could find me, but I have always included my married name as well. I don't use it (maiden) on Facebook (I don't use Facebook that often~ don't even really know how to navigate it )

    Take Care~
    Brandi

  17. My husband has a nicer, simpler last name than I do but I never would have changed it. I noticed that most of my friends in the U.S. changed their names while none of my Canadian friends did. But we're unique even for Canadians - our kids have my last name! My husband is not close with his family so we saw no reason to pass down the name.

    In my province, you have to PAY to change to your husbands' last name so mostly everyone here has their maiden name.

  18. I hyphenated as a compromise. I regret it every day as my name is sooo long, it doesn't even fit on my driver's license. Although I'm licensed to practice law in NY under my hyphenated name and that's how I sign legal documents, but at work I go by my maiden name as that was the name I had when I started working. Socially and at DD's school I will sometimes use Dh's last name only when I remember.

    Stephanie

  19. I only use my maiden name (as a middle name) on Facebook so HS friends know who I am. So does about every married friend I have on there. I don't use it in real life.
    ditto that. my legal name is firstname middlename husband's lastname. on FB i am firstname maidenname marriedname so that people i have not seen since high school will be able to find me and/or know who i am when they see me. i originally signed up as firstname marriedname but it was confusing to people so i changed it.

  20. This is from 2004 Slate so 6 years old, but I thought it was interesting:

    "Interestingly, over the past 10 years fewer and fewer women have kept their maiden names. According to a recent study by Harvard economics professor Claudia Goldin, based on Massachusetts birth records, the number of college-educated women in their 30s keeping their name has dropped from 23 percent in 1990 to 17 percent in 2000.slate.com/id/2097231#Correct Goldin suggests that this may be because we are moving toward a more conservative view of marriage. Perhaps. But it may also be that the maiden name is no longer a fraught political issue. These days, no one is shocked when an independent-minded woman takes her husband's name, any more than one is shocked when she announces that she is staying at home with her kids. Today, the decision is one of convenience, of a kind of luxury—which name do you like the sound of? What do you feel like doing? The politics are almost incidental. Our fundamental independence is not so imperiled that we need to keep our names. The statement has, thanks to a more dogmatic generation, been made. Now we dabble in the traditional. We cobble together names. At this point—apologies to Lucy Stone, and her pioneering work in name keeping—our attitude is: Whatever works."

    slate.com/id/2097231

  21. I truly DISLIKED my maiden name and couldn't wait to get rid of it. If I hadn't gotten married I would have changed it to something cool.

    My married last name is not much better but it's only 4 letters long so it's fast to write and spell (which I have to do much of the time.)

    Pam

  22. I kept my maiden name legally and use it professionally. In social situations (invites, social clubs, church) I use DH's name. Kids have DH's name. I have found that keeping my maiden name professionally (which is a VERY common name) makes me much harder to find on the internet, which is great since I prosecute criminals.

  23. My maiden name was the name that my father got when he was adopted by my grandfather at age 8. It is goofy sounding and no one can spell it. Of course, the name he had before he was adopted was equally goofy--my grandmother probably thought she was doing him a favor changing it.

  24. My last name is dh's now and I kinda miss my maiden name. It was very unique (13 letters and very intimidating to anyone trying to pronounce it). My maiden name sparked a coversation at least once a day. When some of my new friends see it they're like "what the hec kind of name is that?" lol

    I do miss it.
    Pam

  25. I did not change my name. It was both a professional (although I'm no longer in that profession) and personal decision. DH is Chinese and I am not. DS has his dad's last name.

    My SIL tried to keep her last name but gave up when their second child was born. She had the hardest time getting the baby's passport and travel documents issued because their last names were different.

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