Considering donating

(5 posts)(5 voices)
  1. I am at a stand still. I am almost ready to donate, 98% there, but my husband is still holding out for the off chance we win the lottery and can afford to hire a surrogate. Let's be realistic, It isn't going to happen.

    I almost have him convinced. Before, he was ready to donate and I wasn't. Now it seems we have changed places.

    I would like to donate and let another couple be as blessed as we have been and are.

    Anyone else in this situation?

    ML

  2. Hi ML.

    I am sorry that you are having to make such a difficult decision esp. when you husband is not 100%. In my opinion, you need time to decide and make sure your husband is 100% on board. Otherwise, it will be a decision you may regret later.

    Have you checked on surromomsonline.com for a surrogate? There tend to be a lot ads on that site.

    If you decide to donate to another couple, you will be giving the the greatest gift of all. And, I am sure they will be eternally grateful. I can understand the other side of this b/c we have been hoping for someone like yourself to come along. I found out at when I was 31 years old that my eggs were abnormal after we did 3 IVF cycles of our own. We did a karyotype test and a high percentage were abnormal. We are currently in the process of looking for a donor for a donor egg cycle. It was heartwrenching when I was told that I would not have a bio. child of my own. I have felt every emotion you can have....I think. So, on that end, I can understand part of what you are feeling...all the emotions and letting go of part of you.

    Whatever decision you and your family made, just take your time and make the right decision for you (and hubby).

    Take care. Stacy

  3. Hi Ismail

    Possibly the people who might be able to assist you best are other couples who have donated? There are a few who visit this board and I can put you in touch with a couple more if you wish to talk to them.

    What you are considering is an incredible gift. Talking to others who have been in your shoes might be helpful and ease some of your concerns?

    You can PM me or post here.

    All best
    tess

  4. My advice as a donor: don't do it until you're ready. And you're NOT ready if you're still hoping for a surrogate. Make sure *all* desire for more children of your own is gone and the door is completely closed - like even if your dream surrogate showed up on your doorstep and begged to let her do it for you for free, you'd still say no - before you donate because you can't take back the decision, and this is not something you want to regret. I waited until I had no desire for more children - NONE - before I donated and have had no regrets. But I've met several people who donated before they were ready, and really were in agony seeing the children of the recipient, thinking they should have been theirs, and not having a chance to have more. That is awful for both parties. So - wait until your own door is closed, and when it is, making the decision to donate will be easy.

  5. **preg mentioned**

    Yes, I'm in that same situation (sorta)

    After 10+ yrs of IF treatement, 6 pregnancy losses, 7 surgeries..... and 40K in IF related debt, I finally might take home a baby this spring. Well, maybe - it's been a rough pregnancy and I'm currently, at 26 weeks, on complete bedrest for IC for the duration (hoping to make it to 36 weeks but who knows?).

    We had a great egg donor and still have 6 really nice frozen embryos and 17 good quality unfertilized eggs. i'd love to try again but DH and I are 41 now and with my cervix, and all the other issues I'm having this pregnancy - my peri is saying "no way" to me attempting to carry again.

    Plus I nearly died last summer when I had an corneal ectopic rupture. DH has been very supportive thru all this but well, he's just done...

    But yeah, I dream of winning the lottery all the time and being able to afford a surrogate!

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