Can anyone lift my spirits?

(6 posts)(6 voices)
  1. I guess all I need is a reinforcement,my mom thinks Im crazy for wanting a baby at my age,but I so want one...<br /><br />Now Im thinking is it ok to have a baby at 47(with DE of course)?...

    Please tell me Im not crazy!<br /><br />Thank you,<br /><br />N.

  2. Hi Koliousis!
    YOU\'RE NOT CRAZY!
    I don't know what your particular personal and financial situation is but if you're healthy and if you want to be a mom then I say go for it!

    I was married for 19 years before Science was able to help me become a mom via IVF (OE at the age of 43). Subsequent cycles with my own eggs were not successful to say the least. I am now at the beginning stage of a DEIVF cycle at the ripe old age of 48---if this is successful I will be 49 when I deliver.

    The heart wants what the heart wants....Go for it my friend!

    avas

  3. Hi N -
    I posted the below comment on the \"Donor Egg\" section of the boards. But I think it rings true for here too. By the way - I just returned from a consult with the local dr here whom we asked to do my follow-up after we return from our DE IVF. He said \"of course\". I encountered a dr last year who refused to help me because she did not think I should be trying to have a child at my age, and she did not think I should be going out of the country for treatment. I was angry to say the least!! I have moved to a new town since then and have made sure I had consultations with an IVF specialist to follow my in the 1st trimester, and an OB/GYN to follow me for the remainder of my pregnancy.

    Comment from other posting:
    I am planning my 2nd cycle in Czech Republic with DE. The 1st time we went and just told everyone it was a vacation. Unfortunately it did ended in m/c. But this time we cannot get away with the same excuse (especially since we are returning to the same place in less then a year). I told my parents and they don't understand why at my age (46) I could possibly want to conceive and carry my first child. Then when I told them we would be using a DE they really became concerned. My father said that the child \"would never really be yours\" since it was someone else's egg. He said we should \"just adopt\" or foster a child to see if we really wanted to be parents. I know his concern comes from a place of love, but also a place where he could not understand what I have decided to do. I married at 41 for the first time, and have been trying to conceive for the last 3 yrs. Due to my age, and the amount of time we have been trying, we knew in our hearts from the first conversation of IVF that DE would be the way we would go.

    Honestly, we considered adoption, but with my age we won't be considered by many agencies. Plus, finding a healthy infant in the US is almost impossible. A friend of mine, who is the same age as me, had to go the route of international adoption because she was single, over 40 and her weight was considered \"obese\" (she is heavy but has been the same weight since we were in college!). She ended up spending $30K and the child was over a year old when she was able to bring her into the country - even though she started the adoption process before the child was born!

    I don't think I should be penalized because it took me until 41 to find my life partner!! I did not want to settle for just any guy - I waited to find the right one. And now that I am ready for children, and my own eggs don't want to cooperate, why should that be a problem for people?

    I know you cannot control how others think or feel. But it is really incredible how people who you hope to look to for support can only frame their support based on their own experience, and cannot try to walk a mile in your shoes. I am not mad at my parents, just disappointed that they are not being more supportive while I make this difficult and exciting choice with my life.

  4. I guess all I need is a reinforcement,my mom thinks Im crazy for wanting a baby at my age,but I so want one... Now Im thinking is it ok to have a baby at 47(with DE of course)?... Please tell me Im not crazy! Thank you, N.

    No, you are NOT crazy.....you know my story: DE/DS and finally a baby at age 46. Same two donors for another fresh cycle and twins delivered 5 days after I turned 51. I don't think that the desire for a baby takes age into consideration. I think it's wonderful to have a baby at your age....again, you are NOT crazy!

  5. Hello N,
    No your not crazy at all! I am about to turn 49 and am going to give this another go. DE of course. I have 2 wonderful twin boys from de just over 2 years ago and would like to try for a daughter..I also have 3 grown children from another marraige...if this is truly what you want just do it and don't even bother telling anyone just share the joy that will hopefully come down the road! If I was to share with anyone family/friends they would think I am crazy... I am so lucky and blessed to have opportunity to try one more time!!

  6. Like pupput, I am an older mom. 48 when I had DEIVF son #1 ( other 2 sons are bio). 51y11m8d when I had DEIVF twins. Unless there are health factors, age is just a number. Tell the detractors to just suck eggs.

    danai.....who IS crazy but is having a fantastic time anyway!

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