Am I crazy to try again? On the way to IVF#5 at 43

(304 posts)(30 voices)
  • Started by lagaluga1987 ago.
  • Latest reply from lagaluga1987.
  1. Baby - Yay! 7 eggs sounds great! I'm glad to hear that you got a couple more than the 5 they saw the other day. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you have success.

  2. Welcome, Yahia. I'm not at the DE point yet, I still want to try one more time with my own eggs. However, I have thought about it quite a bit. I think going to E. Europe (like Czech Republic) is a very economical way to go. Initally, it sounded like a great potential solution for me, especially since I am part Czech. However, upon further research, I learned that they don't let me see a picture of, have any information on or choose the donor. If that type of thing doesn't matter, I have heard wonderful things about going over there. Other things for you to consider for a DE cycle would be whether the donor is proven (i.e. Myrto pregnancies for the recipients). I agree with you on the toll that IUI/IVF cycles take on our bodies! I gain about 3 lbs per cycle. When I take 6 months off, I lose the weight. Between the stims/drugs and the emotional rollercoaster of it all....there is a point where one has to say enough is enough. I just need to try one more time before I'm ready to move to that.

    Hi ladies, can I join in?First, I can't believe I will be 42 in a month. Where did the time go??Great career, great husband (married at 37) but babyless. After 7 iui's - 1 success but 8 wk m/c 2 IVF's in NYC - BFN great eggs response (1 ins pd for 1 out of pocket) 15k2 IVF's in Israel - BFN great egg response 1 and dwindled June (ofp- 3500ea)I think we are ready to move to DE. Thought long and hard about it the last 6 months. Accepting the baby will be hubby dna and not mine was me rationalizing that I was always ok with adopting a child and he isn't so I think we have a compromise in DE.I keep saying I'm only 42 and can keep trying for anothe 2-3 times, but cannot afford it in NYC, I would have to go abroad. Craziness. But more importantly, I feel differently about my body now, really, does anyone else feel a toll on themselves physically? I feel my hormones have changed or just that I don't feel as healthy as a horse like I did at 38. Anyways, can you send me your concerns on DE. I want to make sure I am covering all bases here. Issues, etc.DE here in NYC has referred me to CT which came to a cost of $30k.I'm investigating all the UK women running to E.Europe with success at a cost of $7k. Thoughts to consider please?? I'm about 90% but still have hesitation and not sure why.Thanks.

  3. Baby 7 eggs, great news, I pray they divide nicely over the next few days

  4. Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I'm going to sleep to try and rest up for ET tom. Yesterdays fert report was 6 out of 7 mature and 4 fertilized. I wonder how many will make it till tomorrow. Wish me luck.

  5. agostino, Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry to hear about your infertiltiy ride of hell. It really stinks. I'm sure in time you will be able to make a decision that you will feel comfortable with. What's weird is my mind is always changing when it comes to this stuff.

    butterflies, i'm glad you do have some coverage, it helps lighten the blow a little. Thanks for the good luck wishes

    sadkiab, I am excited about your consult on 8/13, if you do choose to go out to CCRM, when will you go for your one day w/u?

    Yahia welcome to you!!! Wow, very important decisions to be made. I would probably go abroad to save the money if it was my choice. I guess you should really do some homework about the DE process. I have a friend that used donor and is waiting for her BETA now, she's knows alot about the process if you want some advice, PM me and I will put you in touch w/her.

    nichri, how are you doing? Thanks for the prayers!

    daskalos, Welcome too! how is the situation going w/the donor, was the dr concerned about the missed dose? I hope that this cycle brings you your little bean this time.

    Stasinos, have fun practicing!! You know there's something to be said for the old fashion way. I hear stories all of the time about women conceiving naturally after failed cycles.

    I had a really bad night. Seems somehow during ER or when I awoke from ER, I somehow must have moved the wrong way and strained my intercostal muscle. It hurt so much when I would take a full breath, not to mention the bloating and horrible cramps from ER. After propping myself up and down all night on pillows I finally fell asleep and feel better today. Ugh, the things we go through. I'm still waiting for the Fert report and trying to keep busy/distracted.

    We\'ve gathered up a great group of ladies on this thread, so glad to chat w/everyone.

  6. baby - I'm so sorry you had a difficult night. Did you get any news on the fert report? GL with ET tomorrow.

    I had a really bad night. Seems somehow during ER or when I awoke from ER, I somehow must have moved the wrong way and strained my intercostal muscle. It hurt so much when I would take a full breath, not to mention the bloating and horrible cramps from ER. After propping myself up and down all night on pillows I finally fell asleep and feel better today. Ugh, the things we go through. I'm still waiting for the Fert report and trying to keep busy/distracted.We\'ve gathered up a great group of ladies on this thread, so glad to chat w/everyone.

  7. Okay, I guess we sent messages at about the same time...they've always told me that typically 75% of what fertilizes makes it to day my guess is at least 3.

    Hope everyone is having a good weekend. I'm going to sleep to try and rest up for ET tom. Yesterdays fert report was 6 out of 7 mature and 4 fertilized. I wonder how many will make it till tomorrow. Wish me luck.

  8. Baby - Good luck!

    iro - I totally hear all you're saying.

    Can I ask you girls, did anyone have a problem finding a place to take them at 43 with failed cycles behind them? I am at Cornell now, but may have to make a change at some point, as even though I have insurance, I am still paying a lot there. I will be 43 in December and concerned if I decided to make the switch, finding a place that will take me. Last year at 41, the doctor I saw at my local clinic was very negative, even though I responded well to meds. I can't deal with being treated by someone like that.

  9. To me this is the million dollar question. Am I really simply too old to conceive? I just don't understand, the eggs are not used so how do they get damaged? I've read all about it, just doesn't seem right to me that eggs get \"old\".

    Also don't understand why we have such great results if my eggs are too old. We had 15 mature, 12 fert. 12 cleaved, 5 made it to blast transfer. 2 of those were nice quality and 2 looked healthy but were a lagging behind a little (one was a morula and one an early blast), fifth embie didn't look healthy to me but they transferred it anyway.

    So i just don't understand. If i had crappy response & bad looking embryos it would make more sense to me. I don't want to give up when things look good. However, I want some answers. Maybe the CGH is what I should do? Maybe I'd get some answers about what is wrong. Or maybe I need more diagnosing.

    Anyway - just thinking out loud. But is 43 crazy to keep trying? My answer: I don't know. I think the doctors need to check the eggs and see so I think if they can biopsy my eggs/embryos that would give an indication.

    Good luck & wish you the best.

  10. Anna_Maria, I do not live in the US, so probably naming my clinics would not help. Although I did cycle once in New York. I went to several REs, didn't really matter which. I understand that New Hope in NYC and also Cooper Center for IVF in NJ are welcoming to AMA patients. But for me, it doesn't really matter which clinic. REs? -I just see them as technicians. Expertise? Haven't you noticed? They hardly look at your file. Most of them are sleepwalking. Towards the end I was just handing them written instructions and saying \"can you do this protocol for me?\"

    nichri, glad to hear it.

    Yahia: I would not hesitate to go overseas. Lots of cheap clinics, good labs. I was thinking about India, Lebanon, Korea. Other places. You can get stuff done for a fraction of what they charge in USA.

    agostino: \"Dara Torres of Fertility\" -I like that. I don't know what it means, but I like it. LoL.

    sadkiab: I used many protocols, low stim/no stim and high stim, and everything in between.

    lagaluga1987: My DS is 16 months old now. He is healthy, active and loads of fun! As for coping, at first I was in a R/L support group. Everyone got pregnant except for me Every last one of them. And I was (surprise!) the oldest, but not by much. Maybe some of you can relate. Then I founded my own R/L support group. But after awhile, after I stopped telling friends and family what I was going through, because nobody seemed to understand anymore. I just decided to seek support online, and not talk to anybody. I wouldn't suggest it though. After first several failures I was on the IVFC vets board a lot, it helped me to vent. I knew my odds, I was not in denial. Ironically, losing hope and having no expectations was how I coped best. Just soldiering away. It was like my job or something. I figured I'd emotionally process it all later.

    The low stim protocols saved my arse. I think I would be dead if I continued to do 600 IU of FSH each time.

  11. ulke - Thanks for sharing. You truly are inspirational. Your attitude really reminds me of mine at this point.

  12. Anna_Maria glad you can relate.

    Good luck everyone!

  13. Oh yes, I also kept very good records. And tried to read a lot about IVF. That helped me to cope, somehow.

    Although everyone's metabolism is different, FYI here is the custom protocol that I used on my *last* IVF cycle at age 44.8

    No suppression from Mini-IVF cycle preceeding month
    CD2 Baseline FSH=7.4, E2=49 (highest FSH was 12.4)
    Day 3: Start 300 Follistim + 1mg Dexamethasone
    Day 5: Drop to 225 Follistim + 1mg Dexamethasone
    Day 8: First scan and E2, thereafter every 2-3 days
    When lead follicle >=15mm, start Cetrotide AND change Follistim to 225 hMG.
    Trigger shot, ER 34 hrs later
    9 eggs retrieved, ICSI with frozen sperm, 8 fertilized
    Assisted hatching, day 3 transfer (with acupuncture) of three grade 2 embryos.
    From 1dpo, 1cc PIO + Estrogen patches, continue Dexamethasone 1mg

    Misc: daily green smoothies, lymphatic massage, fish oil, low carb/high protein diet

  14. Casey - Thanks. I guess being with such a negative doctor last year before changing doctors, makes me nervous about finding a doctor should I decide to make a change at some point due to finances. DE is not something I am interested in either.

  15. Butterflies - tks for reading my post. I'm at RBA in Atlanta and they are perfectly willing to keep going with me. As long as I respond to the meds.
    They do mention that DE has better success although, i'm not interested.

    I don't know but I would think most would accept you at 43 but maybe not past that. Literature suggests upto 43, there's a significant chance. GL

  16. ulke - thanks so much for sharing your details and protocol. It helps so much having it because even though our bodies react differently to different protocols, it backs up some of my theories about overstimulation and use of LH too early in the cycle.

    Can you tell me what size your largest follicle was when you triggered? Was it actually at 15mm, or something larger? Did you use an HCG trigger, or was it just hMG?

  17. sadkiab: it was HCG, and the lead follicle was something like 21. I do not like to sacrifice the lead follicle, would rather have it than all the others. I am a big believer in restraint with stim meds, especially for us older gals. For me, it is clear that I do better with LH added later. However I know other AMA patients who need it at the beginning. That's one of the more individual things. But hey I am no expert. Just stubborn

  18. Hi all,

    I see another newcomer, Welcome iro!

    sadkiab, I wish you were right w/your guess. I was devastated to find out when I came in yesterday for ET that only ONE had made it. And, it was only 5 cells. I have already considered this cycle #5 a bust, I'm expecting a BFN next week. The only Myrto thing I can say was there was no fragmentation. I just don't understand how this could happen, are my eggs sooooooo sheety that it's just going to get worse and worse from here? I stayed on bedrest yesterday for one day and then just said, time to try to enjoy myself since I've been pretty down since ET and I went to the beach instead of resting another day, the chances are so slim, I should start playing the lottery instead! Yes, I'm feeling battered, bewildered, and broken again.

    Okay, enough of my complaining.

    iro, I'm not ready to give up and 44 is a few months away for me. I am sure that their are clinics willing to let us keep trying, after all, they are making money, right? My dr's have tried to be Myrto, although I've been told my chances are 8%, not very promising.

    butterflies, how do you like Cornell? I'm sure my clinic would take you on if you decided to switch.

    Dara, can you tell me how many cells your embies were that you transferred when you got your BFP? I would love to PM w/you and pick your brain for more info if you wouldn't mind helping a desperate soul.

    I feel like I just want to get the beta over with so I can plan my next cycle, I just can't even bear to think about throwing in the towel.

  19. Baby - Hang in there. My friend transferred one embryo two months before turning 45 and has a two year old son.

    Yes, I like Cornell very much, very happy there, although I had two BFNs there in the past few months. We do have IVF insurance, but Cornell doesn't take it, so we are paying out of pocket. Thinking down the road if I decide to use my insurance again and go to another facility, am I going to have a hard time finding one. Where are you cycling?

    Again, try to hang in there during the 2WW.

  20. Baby, Don't fret, my daughter is from the transfer of only one embie! She's healthy and happy. It's trying for number #2 that has been my nemesis.

    ulke, Dara Torres is the Olympic swimmer who at 42 got a silver medal at the Bejiing Olympics. Coincidentally, she had a baby at 39 after much fertility drama. But she's still winning world championships now at 43.

    As far as my last cycle, I echo what Butterflies said, they treat you like a number and are sleepwalking. Amazing how they are so encouraging and Myrto, that is, until the \"check clears\" then they start telling you that you shouldn't expect anything. My last cycle was completely bungled by the RE. Of course they took no responsibility and had the easy out of blaming \"my old eggs\". I slammed him though. I said funny how \"my old eggs\" weren't a concern when I asked you if I should try again?\" Funny, how \"my old eggs\" weren't a problem when you cashed the check? Funny how \"my old eggs\" wasn't an issue b/c I had a 6.2 FSH, until after the cycle failed and you said FSH really doesn't matter. Are they kidding? Thieves, many of them... B/c insurance doesn't cover fertility, insurance agencies don't manage the care at Fertility Centers. They can charge what they want and basically blame you when it fails. Never taking any accountability that they could have misdosed you, mistriggered you, or gave you the wrong protocol.


  21. agostino - my feelings exactly!

  22. baby - I'm so sorry that this cycle didn't go as well as you had hoped. I am going to keep my hopes up that your embryo is just slow dividing and the no fragmentation is a good sign. Was there anything different in this protocol versus your other cycles?

    ulke -Thanks for clarifying things. Your statement about REs just cracked me up.

    butterflies - I was thinking about your question regarding RE being willing to cycle you when you turn age 43. I've talked with 5 RE's since turning 43 in January, and no one has turned me away. One did tell me that he would only cycle me once. I still respond to stims, and make 1-3 decent (6-8 cell) day 3 embryos when I've cycled in the past year, and got BFP with m/c each time. My FSH was 12.1 in Jan, but dropped to 7.2 a couple of weeks ago. If you look at SARTS stats, it shows data for 41-42 age group, and then you have to click the link to get data for 43-44 ages. You could look at all the clinics that cycle a larger number of women in that age group to get an idea of how willing they are.

    iro - welcome to the thread!

  23. Jstewskay - Thanks for sharing.

  24. baby - I will turn 44 on the 21st. What about you?

  25. butterflies, thanks for the story about your friend, she is so lucky. I'm glad you like Cornell, it is important to feel comfortable w/your clinic. I cycled w/RMA of NY. If you look up the stats on SART, they are similar to Cornell w/success rates for last year, although Cornell does cycle more women. What kind of insurance do you have? RMA does take a few of them.

    agostino, where do you live? You know it's funny, being the IVF veteran that I am, I find myself trying to call the shots now, it's crazy, but I know far more than I should.

    sadkiab, my protocol was exactly the same as my last one where I had many more eggs, but terrible fertilization for the first time. It seems like something is always going wrong, at that cycle was w/a different clinic.
    I used Saizen this and last time and now I wonder, even though it seems that I get more eggs using it, is it having anything to do w/quality, or do I have to just go through all of my ROTTEN eggs over and over again until I find a good one, if it even exists?
    BTW, you will be turning 44 in January? What day? We are both January girls!

    Well the weather is hot and I am off another 2 days from work. I'm going to try keep busy. Think I'll start to POAS on Monday if my beta is next Thursday, what do you ladies think?

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