2009 November Cyclers

(125 posts)(14 voices)
  1. ziggy - big hugs. i think your RE is right. this cycle is a bit unusual for you. i checked online and found out about Empty Follicle Syndrome. it happens to us 40+ more often. i had it this time also, just like you. never had it before. prayers and hugs.

    jaked - congratulations!!

    v - good luck for you tomorrow if you do POAS.

    i had 2 transferred out of 4, the other two are empty follicle. no computer and cell phone for me according to RE for three days. beta is next monday.

    Have a wonderful thanksgiving everyone!

  2. mark_H- Very happy for you. Wow... you must be elated. I am getting a little crazy over here, but refuse to test tomorrow! I am holding out until Saturday, I swear. The only thing I feel right now is bitchy... and I've been getting some mean headaches. But other than that, business as usual. I'm either pregs or not... will know soon enough.

  3. ariadna - I'm sorry you had some empty follies too. Things really do go downhill after 40, huh. I actually have a friend who wants kids, but isn't ready to start trying yet. She's going to be 41 soon. I just don't get how somebody's head can be in the clouds like that. Good luck on Monday! Really hoping to hear some good news from you.

    lazaridou - Good for you, holding out! Good luck on Saturday.

    LB - Good luck tomorrow. I hope these 2 leading follies give you something to celebrate.

    socrates - Spotting. That is encouraging! Looking forward to hearing some good news from you tomorrow!

    mark_H - Congrats again!

    AFM, I had nightmares all night about cycling, so I don't think I'm as ready to jump back on the horse as I thought yesterday. Hopefully the holidays will help distract me for a while & then we'll make some decisions.

    Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
    Z

  4. Ziggy,

    Sometimes you have to go with it if the timing works. You seem so calm. I have had 3 failures with O/E and def needed some time to come around to do this cycle. What Ive come to realize, that there is never enough money and never enough time. I am already older and I didnt want to be a much older mom so here I am. What does DH think?
    My 2nd cycle I had empty follies. You really need to get yur 41 yr old friend to an appt. I never felt old till I met my RE. I kid you not.
    Little, I cant believe your holding out! I would have too if not for me spazing out!
    big hope, very interesting, no computer, I think I'd go nuts!!!
    LB Good luck and let us know your report!
    V???? Any news?

    Have a Happy Thanksgiving day tomorrow, I will be thinking positive things to all of you!
    TTYL

  5. I POAS'd on a cheap dollar tree hpt this am and saw absolutely nothing. Sigh. I haven't cried yet because I am hoping that maybe it isn't over with yet. I have had such a headache today and slight nausea during breakfast. Is it possible that if the little five cell came to fruition, implantation would be later and there wouldn't be enough HCG? I am sure I am grasping at straws right now.... Tomorrow, I will try the digital test and hope that the result is different.

    Sigh...I hate November. Nothing historically has ever worked for me during this month.

  6. Try to stay positive V
    After the RE gave me my Beta, I didnt believe him so I went home and POAS to see. The cheap $ store one didnt work but the clearview on showed 2 strong lines. So, your still ok! If you need to POAS, get a real one!

    My Best!

  7. Sigh...I hate November. Nothing historically has ever worked for me during this month.

    Second that here Even before today, November has been a crappy month for me for the past 9 years.

    Got \"the call\" today. My one egg that was retrieved yesterday was degenerate I'm done.

    Best of luck to you ladies and Happy Thanksgiving. I think I'll skip the turkey and just have a bottle of whine

  8. It's official. No BFP for me either. I have decided that December is going to be infertility free. I'll focus on next steps in the new year.

    I am sure I haven't shed all the tears I am going to, but I am going to try and just move on.

    Big hope...your turn to carry the torch of success.

    Best,
    V

  9. I have somehow made it through the holiday without doing a test. I am doing one tomorrow. Feeling very crampy so I'm kind of freaking out about that.... but I guess tomorrow will give the real deal. I'm doing a home test, if it's negative, it's negative, right? This far along?

  10. Well, Ladies, I did the test this morning and got a potitive result! Whoo hoo!
    Went straight to the lab for a blood test. Now waiting. Nervous....

  11. Hi

    Little, Official??

    V, I am sorry for your setback. I had a BFN last year 2 days before Thanksgiving. I spent the month of December trying to bounce back and regroup for the new Year. Thinking of you//

    Big Hope, Hows it goin?? Is Beta 11/30 or 12/7???

    Z, Is your office open to squeeze in another cycle in Dec or do you need to take a break?

    afm, I am just trying to take it easy till next appt!

    TTYL

  12. Official. They called late yesterday- Levels were at 190.

    I will go back in tomorrow for another one, and if all is well, sonogram in two weeks.

    Am excited/nervous, but mostly excited!

  13. L8 - I'm so, so sorry. I hope the bottle of whine hit the spot. Do you have any ideas about your next step? Have you considered DE? I am not really sure what we'll do next. Maybe you and I will cycle together yet again in a few.... Or did you really mean you are DONE?

    V - You too? I'm shocked. And sorry. December being infertility free sounds pretty good. Take care of yourself!

    lazaridou - First, congrats. Good luck at your sonogram. I know it is very tacky for me to say this, and I will regret it, but it just gets to me when people do this. To completely steamroll over 2 devastating posts to announce your good news seems a little inconsiderate. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. I'm sure you remember how it feels to have your hopes and dreams come crashing down around you. Just a one liner - I'm sorry. It's pretty simple.

    Sorry everybody, seems I'm still feeling p*i*s*s*y. My AF showed up for the holiday, & my RE's office is closed, so I wouldn't be able to start again right away even if I wanted. Maybe V's idea of a month off to regroup is a good one.

    Hope you are all doing well.
    z

  14. Dear Z-

    Not my intention, and I apolgize, really. When I wrote the post this morning I remember thinking to myself \"I need to post more later and acknowledge some of the other's bad news.\" because at the moment (and I hope this does not make you more angry because I'm mentioning a child) my three year old needed me. I had every intention of posting later. But anyway, enough of my bullshit excuse.

    I am no way insensitive to what everyone is going though and I'm very sorry if I came off that way. I am definately not that sort of person. I wish everyone the best with this cycle, or next. I really hope that the eventual outcome for everyone is a baby (or two or three!)
    amy

  15. Z and V - sorry about your BFN. it is really hard to accept.

    freedom - very sorry about the bad news. please be good to yourself!

    mark_H - when is your next appointment? take it easy.

    lazaridou - congratulations! you are so lucky to have sibling for your kid. Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy journey and keep us posted. we are really happy for you and your family.

    afm, this morning i did POAS and was negative so i went to have the test done late knowing it is negative anyway. we are done. i went from 9-10 eggs to 2-3 eggs within a matter of several months. i don't know whether i am mad or sad or both. one thing i know for sure that we will have a bottle of red wine tonight.

  16. ariadna- ugh... sorry. It just sucks. Are you done as in DONE, or just done for now?

  17. lazaridou - thanks for your message. i am still amazed how i got from 2-3 eggs from 9-10 eggs. May I ask you what protocol and what is your RE with 42 years old like poor responder like me? I know you are an exception since you are a very good responder.

  18. ariadna - I'm so sorry it didn't work for you. Does your RE have an idea of why it failed? One RE told me that you can just have an off cycle sometimes, but how do we know our next cycle will be better? That RE said at my age, if I have an off cycle, I should wait a cycle to recover before trying again. What protocol were you on? Mine was long lupron, and I really don't care to do this again unless I can try a different protocol. When I spoke w/ my RE after my cycle failed, he said we should stick with the same protocol. I was supposed to schedule a WTF meeting with him, but I can't pick up the phone. It is a waste of time/money if he won't consider a change.

    Sorry, thinking out loud again. Please let me know what you decide to do. I need to make a decision as well. Thinking of changing REs all together, which is hard when you've been with the same office for almost 4 years...

    lazaridou - I am sorry for singling you out the other day. Thanks for your reply though. I'm really surprised that the word \"bullshit\" didn't automatically get starred out. I'll have to remember that one.

    Z

  19. Ziggy - Thanks for your message. My RE doesn't have an idea about why it didn't work. The RE thought our embryo quality is better though the quantity is less. We don't think he will change protocol. Mine was Estrogen Priming EPP. Like you, I don't think we will try the same protocol again with the same RE. Yes, it is so hard switching clinic after these many years. Maybe giving yourself sometime to sort through since RE wants you to take one cycle break after an offcycle anyway. Let me know what you decide. Hugs!! ariadna

  20. Really? Bullshit gets starred out??? I had no idea. It's been my favorite word for a while now! : )

    ariadna-
    I am a good responder, but let me explain. I do not really fall under someone with fertility problems, per say. I don't think so anyway. Or, at least i wasn't when I started trying with our first. I'm gay, so trying the old fashion way was never an option. My partner tried for about 6 months- we did these at home inseminations which make for hilarious stories now - I'm not sure how we ever thought we would get pregnant that way (here's a good laugh, we once spilled an entire vial of sperm on the floor, effectively throwing away $400 and wasting a cycle. Good times).

    Anyway, from there we moved on to me and I did not want to waste any time, so we went straight to Baystate Reproductive and I asked the doctor to put me on clomid right away. She said, no, let's go with regular IUI's- you do not have fertility problems, you are just gay. And I said, yes, I'm gay, but I'm also NOT RICH and this stuff is expensive- Clomid, please. So she started me on that and on the third cycle I was pregnant with my daughter. I was 38 at the time. Fast forward to today- I'm going to be 42 next week. We started again, clomid again, 3 cycles, nothing. Moved to injectibles, nothing after two months, then graduated to IVF.

    First two cycles were follistem and Lupron, lots of eggs upon retrieval (the second cycle gathered 30 but only 12 fertilized), so... they decided to change my protocal. Meanwhile, insurance started giving then, and me, a hard time about covering and thanks for my doctor's hard fight for us, they did. This third time they wanted to bring down the amount of eggs but bring up the quality, since previously my embryo quality was 6-cell, 7-cell, one 8-cell, I think. So this time I was on 1 unit of Menapur and 375 of Gonal F per day. It was very slow, just as they wanted, but they got what they wanted. I was finally ready after several days and they retrieved 12 eggs. Out of those 10 fertilized and 9 went on to be embryos. They put back 4 8-Cell top grade, one 8-Cell high grade, and one 7-Cell high grade. So they were very pleased. The third cycle protocal really worked so much better for me. They also think this is the last one my insurance would pay for, which is why they agreed to 6. I am still with BayState Reproductive, by the way, in Springfield MA. We have always been very happy with them.

    My doctor pretty much said that this time around was difficult due to age. I think that my challenges absolutely pale in comparison of what most of the women on these boards have gone through. I am incredibly lucky and i know it. Just this little bit of a challenge has left me exhausted, I honestly don't know how you pick yourselves up and do it again, and again. It is truely a heart-wrenching experience.

    So, anyway, sorry for the book... have you tried this protocal before? Maybe it would work for you?

  21. Little A--congratulations. It is just good to hear that somebody over 40 gets pregnant.

    Big Hope--so sorry. It's just not fair. But, if I look at the odds. I think there are 8 of us in this cycle and 2 got pregnant. I hate to say it, but that does tell the tale of statistics.

    Even though I said December was going to be infertility free, I am struggling to not think about what is next. Donor, foster, nothing.... And, if money was no object, I think I would try with my eggs one more time. I just am trying to understand more about MTHFR which I have and whether or not the clinic is right in its conservative approach of baby aspirin only.

    Hugs to everybody.
    Vanessa

  22. Little A - Thanks for taking your time to write this little book for us. I am just really happy for you and your family that you are pregnant.

    Vanessa - I am heterozygous for MTHFR and was put on Folgard/Baby Aspirin/Heparin. Good that you are proactive and ask doctor many questions.

    Z - How are you doing?

  23. I wanted to give you guys an update. I did get AF. We found out that the baby asperin and Heparin was not enough to affect implantation. To date, 7 embryo's failed to implant. So upsetting!!! But - I'm not as emotionally upset as I was before. Once I got through the several cries I felt better.

    Soo..I am venturing off to see a immune specialist for my next (3rd) and LAST cycle. I am almost 42, and honestly, I don't know if I will have enough eggs the next round (which may be in Jan). You all know how this journey goes once we are in our 40's... it's literally like sitting on time bomb.

    Littla- Congratulations!! I think you are the only one out of this bunch that got that BFP?

    ariadna- I'm so so sorry. I know all too well the depression and cries you are going through right now. It takes time to ingest. Hugs!!

    Susan

  24. Sorry to everyone who has gotten crappy news in the past few weeks. It sucks, especially around the holidays.
    I have had some spotting, nothing major, but it is giving me anxiety for the upcoming sonogram. i am more worried this time around and contemplating genetic testing, making sure all it well, etc, more than I was last time. Age, I guess.... Anyway, I hope the next round or next chapter of options for everyone goes well. Amy

  25. Amy,

    When is your sonogram? Do you know yet how many implanted? I hear spotting is very common with multiples . Try to take it easy! I can imagine how stressed you must feel. My son always kept me on the edge of my seat when I was pg. I had a few episodes of heavy bleeding & thought I'd have a heart attack every time. Can it ever be easy??? I guess not.

    Pls let us know how the sonogram goes!
    Z

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